Last year I moved in with my partner who has four children. These kids are complete slobs. I know children make messes, don't get me wrong. But, these kids just don't care if they live in filth. My partner's house wasn't the cleanest when I moved in and cleanliness has never been pushed in the household. I am such a neat freak and I feel like I am constantly down their backs! I've tried chore charts, constant reminding, rewards, etc. but it is hard to keep up with that when there is 4 of them. They have gotten somewhat better over time, but I really feel like they have been raised this way for years and years and the "damage" has already been done. Any suggestions?
2007-06-20 12:45:52 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I should add..my partner doesn't care about it as much as I do (loves the laid back lifestyle).
2007-06-20 12:55:42 · update #1
I guess I shouldn't have said I'm a neat freak. I just like to be able to walk from room to room without falling! I like things in an orderly fashion is what I meant.
2007-06-20 13:28:46 · update #2
Then you need to reconsider your choice to move in with him. Those kids are his responsibility, if he doesn't live up to that, then WHAT DO YOU SEE IN HIM?
You shouldn't be disciplining his children, he needs to do that.
2007-06-21 21:55:10 · answer #1 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need your partner to back you up. These are HIS kids and ultimately he will always have a bigger effect on their actions. Then I'd have a serious sit down with the kids and try to understand why they don't care about their surroundings. Then kindly explain why it's important for you. Since rewards and reminders don't seem to work, maybe consequences will. Nothing cruel but maybe the loss of a privilege like TV time. I'm not sure how old they are, but this may help .
2007-06-20 13:46:57 · answer #2 · answered by lalafleagurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep at it, and it depends on the age, my kids are 6 and 8 and I still have to tell them all the time. Sometimes a little organization helps, and tell them where to start, like pick up all of ______ and then _______.
Another thing my mom had was a job jar, we had to take so many jobs after school. You could even put pick up your own clothes or whatever, its worth a shot.
And I also have them pick up every day at a set time, our house is before dad gets home, at least on the weekdays, that way it does not get to much of a mess and only takes a little time.
2007-06-20 12:54:47 · answer #3 · answered by Miss Coffee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, it should be your partners job to hold his kids acountable for their chores/ picking up. Make sure you and him are on the same page as far as the household goes, after that ask him to speak with his children. Good Luck
2007-06-20 12:52:10 · answer #4 · answered by Christine 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your partner about this and you need to be a team! If he doesn't understand the necessity of keeping things at least reasonably clean and straight, and of giving the kids chores and responsibilities, you're fighting a losing battle.
2007-06-20 12:54:21 · answer #5 · answered by clarity 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Lighten up. kids are kids and will make messes. Just tell them to clean up after themselves and if they dont, throw all the stuff they leave laying around on their beds.
if you hound them too much they'll end up despising you.
2007-06-20 17:21:50 · answer #6 · answered by vixalle21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is a bit sudden but start punishing them everytime they make the mess worse and if they still continue start taking away privileges until they clean and then if they still continue I can't help you.
2007-06-20 12:55:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like YOU are the one with the problem. Youre the 'neat freak', youre the adult. Grow up.
2007-06-20 13:10:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
they are his kids and unless he makes that rule you will be totally ineffective.
2007-06-20 16:14:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋