How do mother's afford to stay home?

Question

I have worked since i was 16, from age 18 to 40 I worked 2 jobs. I have been married for 30 years, raised 4 kids. am now 47 and quite frankly I am exhausted. I did manage college with 3 smalll children and 2 jobs. My husband is turning 50 and complains he needs to cut back at work, "getting too old to work 50 hours per week. i work 60 because I am in management. We don't have lavish items such as boats, jewlery, or vacations, last vacation was 8 years ago (a weekend camping trip). We eat out 3-4 times / month, cook mealse from scratch, don't drink, smoke or gamble. We have little to no savings, and live in a small house, about 1,000 square feet and have 10 years left on our 30 year mortgage. No retirement savings.and are in age group being punished by social security, but have paid over $200,000.00 into social security. & no financial help for kids college.

Answer 1

Blame the Republicans. They have pretty much dissolved the middle class and affordable anything.

Answer 2

Hey, I'm a stay at home with 3 kids...I worked from 16 to 38...I paid my house off before I even met my hubby. I had a great job...THEN.

But after child number 3 we were privatized and I decided to take a package and stay home. I lived off the 50gs which should have been my retirement funds (yup I get zippo now) and that lasted 5 years.

Basically we sunk in debt!

It's hard...I work part time from home...but aside from food and bills...you just become savvy and buy essentials when needed.

People waste SOOO much money on frivolous things...clothing for one...it's ridiculous how much money. I am the best sale shopper in the world...we got by with second hand (new and almost new actually) stuff when they were little.

Vacations? A pipe dream...eating out?...dream on...I cook 3 homecooked meals daily...well two really plus lunches are home made. Hubby stops home for lunch, the kids get sandwiches and I occasionally pick them up and bring them hom.e

It's doable. I look for deals and freebies...all kinds of sites...I'm part of a plant exchange group...my garden is amazing...grow our own veggies too...it takes a little finangling but it's all manageable.

It's a matter of priorites.

BUT...we're not at the college state yet.

You're lucky you've worked all these years. My hubby puts 2,000 a year away for the university funds...often he borrows it off his credit card when the fee becomes due...but hey, something will be there.

You would not miss $100 a paycheck...but that would quickly add up...you should put it away for the college or retirement fund..you both should be doing that.

Your mortgage is what is doing you in too. I was lucky I bought when I was single, rented, and paid all my income to paying the house off...so I was paying $30,000 a year paying it off...and I did that for 5 years. I thought all my life was going to be like that!! Was I wrong!!

Anyhow good luck...plan for your retirement and slow down some if you can. Let the kids work they have more energy than you...even if it's for lunch money...every little bit helps.

Answer 3

We made a decision early in our marriage me being home was a priority so during the child-raising years I did. We new that we might have less but thought it was important to have a present parent there with the kids. We have not been unhappy with the decision. Now as the kids are older I have started working part time in the family business. We have never regretted that decision to have me home with the kids. We are not rich,live in a very modest home but we have amazing children. It was just a priority decision. Kids can do the first two years at a junior college very inexpensively and there are student loans they can take out for the last two years. I am amazed you could finish college with all that going on. Could you maybe pay a little extra on the mortgage and pay off the home early? That would take the pressure off.

Answer 4

I have been a SAHM for 9 years. My husband finally makes 46,000 per year. Last year we moved to a smaller community where it was cheaper. We and the bank own our own home. I have 3 kids and there are allergies so food is expensive. Its all about choice for us. I really couldn't affort to work as our youngest two are not in school full time. I get lots of handmedowns, I freecycle on the internet, we eat out 1 time per month if we are lucky. I do stuff with my kids that don't cost much, and we don't have the most up to date gadgets. I will work (for money) in a few years when the 3 yr old is in school. We will put that money into savings. We have no retirement. We have also fixed our house up (and are still doing so) and plan to flip it in a few years. Its tough, but well worth it.

Answer 5

Some of the answers here are offending...not ALL stay at home mothers are on welfare. I am NOT, we have 6 children (ages 2-7 including twins) and I am fortunate to be able to stay home and raise them. My man does have a wonderful job so i don't have to work, however trust me when I say that raising and cleaning up after 6 kids is def a full time job in itself. But I do find it to be very rewarding. We are truly blessed.

Answer 6

I work at a bank I can relate you to other customers.
1000 square feet home is rather small for all them children you got there! Kudos though!
I have 1 child. Daycare is very expensive.around where i live.
I could afford to stay home, but not with 4 kids and a mortage. could be very tough and college is very important.
Make an Appt with your banks financail advisor. Refinance things around for smaller payments, and if your kids are old enough and are in school, start your own business. ebay or something. its very hard to work so much.
thats all i can think of to do, refinance and talk to an advisor.
myspace.com/shadowdancer77

Answer 7

I have read that feminists wanted to discourage SAHM's as too many women would take it up and thereby undercutting the toxic feminist doctrine of female supremacy.. They back pedalled a few years ago when they realised that they were making more enemies than just the males.. They criticised SAHM's to such a degree, they ignored their future ranting from that sexist ideology.. Now feminists assume that they are considered to be "one of us", an assumption that feminists make when they proclaim that they speak for all women which they most certainly do not..

Answer 8

Where do you live? If you live in NY or maybe Beverly Hills? What is the cost of living like? Any person who works that hard, with college education, plus her husband who works hard, too, would be rich in Texas.

I don't work (illness), only my husband works, though I did raise both kids at home. We live in a 2400 square foot beautiful house and drive nice smallish cars. And we have plumpish retirement accounts.

We need to be more careful with our budget, but we've never had it as hard as you. Where is the difference between our hard-working life and yours?

Answer 9

I would not say that they can afford it. they are probably living below poverty level and are ok with it. I am a single mother have been working since I was 14 and I am 26 now. I have two children and I am a chemist and my mother provides for my children during the day while I am at work. And I do think that a lot of these women are probably recieveing some government assistance as well.

Answer 10

Tell your kids to get good grades.

My wife could have written your story, just we're five years futher down the road. We have five and the youngest is entering college this fall. The oldest passed the bar and is working as an attorney in Chicago. Next one is taking her CPA test this summer. All I can say is it's worth the effort seeing them grow up and spreading their wings. Hang in there. The alternative is dying and that's just not that great.

Answer 11

Maybe you live in a place that is very expensive then??

My husband and I make around 40K and are very comfortable. He could make that much and i could stay home and be fine. We even put money away in savings.

We live in a very inexpensive area and don't spend the most on food.