Okay, my female roommate is nagging me about this. I'm a guy. Couple months ago, we went to whole foods and she got 2 bags of groceries and I got 1 bag of groceries. We had to walk back to the bus stop, about 9 blocks and I just carried my bag. She'd like, the man's supposed to carry the woman's stuff! Everybody be driving by and thinking that guy's an asshole cause the woman's carrying two bags and he only has one.
So, I'm like, don't buy anything you can't carry.
2007-06-20 11:16:21 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It probably would have been nice for you to offer if she was having trouble. If my fiance is having trouble carrying a lot of things, I'll offer to help carry some of his stuff, and he does the same for me. It might be considered a little rude that you didn't offer, but it was also rude of her to presume that you would carry her things without you offering.
2007-06-20 11:20:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's the polite thing to do in any situation - but it's not something that should be expected from a roommate. A boyfriend or husband, maybe - but not someone one step above a mere friend...
Now if she had a broken arm (or was pregnant, or some other reason she shouldn't be carrying things) - then you would be seen as the "asshole roommate"!
Some women expect to be pampered by the entire world - and if you cave in now, she will continue to walk all over you as long as she can. Draw the line NOW - but don't be a prick about it. Let her know that things should be EQUAL between roommates - the bills are split, and so are the responsibilites. IF she wants you to do all the carrying, then she has to handle some other task while you do that...
2007-06-20 13:11:58 · answer #2 · answered by kr_toronto 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it is less a question of gender and simply a matter of common courtesy. It would have been very nice if you had simply asked, "Do you need a hand with one of those bags?" However, I would extend that courtesy to anyone I was with, regardless of gender.
Her argument about the man "supposed" to carry the woman's stuff is incorrect. If the situation were reversed, and you had two bags while she only had one, I would think she should have asked you if you needed assistance, as well.
2007-06-20 11:38:15 · answer #3 · answered by Daisy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I agree with most of the answers. You're right by saying don't buy what you can't carry. If she was struggling, you could have offered to help. Since you aren't in a relationship, I don't see her point of saying the guy's supposed to carry the girl's stuff. I never really understood that.
2007-06-20 11:36:29 · answer #4 · answered by FriendshipInVegas 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that you are obligated to carry her groceries for her just because she's a woman. If she's young, healthy, and has no physical disabilities or problems, then she's perfectly capable of carrying her own groceries. And should expect to carry her own groceries.
If she wanted help from you, why didn't she ask for it? If she was silently fuming the whole 9 blocks that you weren't helping her, she has only herself to blame if she didn't ask for help.
2007-06-20 11:29:42 · answer #5 · answered by Karin C 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your both are in a way correct. You some form she is correct by you being a gentlemen and carrying the groceries. But you are correct on don't buy on what you can't carry!
2007-06-20 11:21:13 · answer #6 · answered by Becca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as she's physically able to, I think she should carry her own. If her arms were tired after a few blocks, she could have asked you nicely, but she shouldn't just assume you should carry them simply because you're a man.
I'm willing to bet your sexist roommate would probably be one of the first ones to cry "discrimination" on a job site because she felt like she wasn't receiving equality.
2007-06-20 14:03:43 · answer #7 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
next time go shopping on your own would she have offered to help carry your shopping if it had been the other way round and you know if you do offer to help she's going to give you the heaviest bag and then watch you struggle with both yours and hers plus once you've accepted you cant walk a couple streets then say "its to heavy can she take it back now" your committed the whole way trust me I know I once offered to help a neighbour who proceeded to give me two really heavy bags !! I can assure you that won't happen again
2007-06-20 12:17:03 · answer #8 · answered by suki doo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a girl in todays society should be able to carry her own damn groceries. you made a good point of dont buy anything you cant carry (with in reason of course) and secondly she isnt your girlfriend so you shouldnt have to carry her junk. when i go shopping with my fiance i carry my stuff without whining about it. however i do appreciate it when he carries it all into the house for me to put it all away.
2007-06-20 11:55:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I believe a pregnant, elderly, or physically disabled women should be helped with carrying their groceries. (doesn't have to be by a man) Anybody else has to fend for themselves.
2007-06-22 03:51:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋