Tragic death has me wondering?

Question

Last night my cousin’s b/f was killed in a car accident. He was 25. Today, his family and my cousin are making arrangements. They have no clue as to what he wanted. Cremated or buried.
Songs or not.

I remember as early as 10, telling my parents that if I died before they did that I want to be an organ donor and to be cremated.

Just got me thinking, how early is too early to plan for your funeral? 18? 16? 10? 8?

Just your opinions?

Thank you!

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*** If my answers today are a little on the depressing side, well.... now you know why. ***

Answer 1

You know, I don't think there's an age appropriate limit on this sort of thing. It is often something that happens when a person is first faced with the reality of death.

It IS a good thing to have open discussions within the family whenever possible. My daughters, also at young age, participated in discussions about what they would or would not like after death; if it's important to be buried or burned, etc. Usually tv programs sparked these discussions, but the point is, we had them. Now that they are older, I have a better idea of what they would want, should the unthinkable happen.

So -- talk. Even if no one is listening, or even if it seems to be getting you put down or hushed up. The time may come when your words will come back to one who needs to have heard them.

We never know.

Answer 2

It is never too early, really, but of course many people don't make any arrangements because it never enters their mind they are going to die.

My husband died very young, and he had never said anything to me or anyone else about arrangements for a funeral. Why would he? A healthy young man ... by the time he knew he was going to die, he had other things on his mind.

All you can do is your best to try and remember the things the person liked during their life, the songs that were special, the experiences that were shared ...

When the person s young and die from something as random and pointless as a car accident, I am sure it is even more difficult.

My very sincere condolences to you and your family at this time.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry for your loss/your cousin's loss.

I do think that people spend too much time planning their death and not enough time planning their life...their eternal life...Don't worry about your death...It's a beginning, not an ending. If I were to die today, I wouldn't have any plans for it...I'm not worried about it...Of course, I have life insurance so that people would not be burdened with the cost.

Funerals tend to be for the living, not the deceased...In fact, that is who they are for...I think, in your cousin's case, the family should do what they think would be appropriate...They should remember in a way that is meaningful to them and would pay respect to the person they love so dearly. I'm sure they will do that...Again, I'm so sorry!!!


The following (below) is a quote from Billy Graham. I've included it in case anyone should answer your question and say, "let the dead bury the dead" as Jesus said in the Bible. Many people misinterpret the passage, and I found this, and it honestly touched me right where I needed it today...Sorry if it doesn't answer the question...I couldn't help myself!!

One day Jesus invited a man to follow Him and become His disciple—but the man refused. He said he would follow Jesus later, but first he wanted to go bury his father. Jesus responded, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead" (Matthew 8:22).

What did He mean by this? Jesus wasn't saying that people who were physically dead should bury other dead people; as you say, that wouldn't make sense. Instead He was speaking of those who were spiritually dead—those who were alive physically but dead toward God in their souls. We may be very strong and healthy physically, and yet be spiritually dead—which is far more serious.

To us Jesus' words to this man might sound harsh—but that is because we don't understand what the man was really saying. When someone in Jesus' day said they wanted to go bury their father, it didn't necessarily mean he was already dead. Instead they really were saying that they wanted to stay with their father until he died—something that might be years away. This man was simply looking for an excuse to avoid becoming Jesus' disciple.

What keeps you from following Jesus as you should? Almost anything can come between us and God; the devil will make sure of that. But Jesus' call has not changed: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me" (Luke 9:23).

Answer 4

Well, umm..I asked a similar question I asked if it was weird that I have started planning my funeral, only one person answered and she said no. I'm 15, and I've been planning out certain things for my funeral since I was 14. I don't know why I do it, I just want to, I mean I'm not planning to die soon or anything but I still wanted to plan my funeral. I don't think that their is an age that is too early to start planning, even if your still a young child, if you really want to then, go ahead. When I was really young I talked to my mum and dad about how I wanted my body disposed of, I even decided how I wanted to die.

Answer 5

People call us Catholics morbid because we're always on and on about death. I'm quite certain Catholics originated the Goth subculture.

Memento Mori - remember death. An original Catholic Moto.

It comes down to us from St. Benedict. 1500 years ago.

It's never too early to plan.

St. Benedict taught that great humility is gained by meditating on your own mortality every day.

When you realize that none one of us is promised tomorrow, it makes it easier to forgive. That person may not be around tomorrow. It's easy to forgive that person who cuts you off on the highway when you realize their reckless driving will very likely kill them.

Which brings me to an alternate point. We Christians love to bash the pagans and wiccans accusing them of black magic. But an angry Christian's prayer is a curse. There is no difference. It is a fine line between praying someone does NOT get in an accident for their reckless driving and the fleeting wish that they would.

Answer 6

Death is invertible, and should be a natural flow of life -
I mean, we're all headed there.

I too have always made sure everyone close to me was on the same page for my wishes on this. And when my family and I scattered my Mom's ashes, we all checked in again.
It's important for those who love you, to have the chance to honor your life in the way you have chosen. It can feel like the last act of love you get to do for them.......

Answer 7

I think at 18 you should ahve a plan as what you would like. Any younger than that, the parents should decide...
Sorry for you loss. Ill say a prayer for you and your family.

Answer 8

While I believe it is good to make those kinds of arrangements to make it a little easier on your family, I believe what's more important is having peace with God. There are greater eternal consequences. You can have peace with God at any age.

Answer 9

u start planning when u r mature. when u understand what death is and accept it as the end of life on earth. it is good to talk about it,it makes you prepared

Answer 10

How sad.

I don't think it's ever too early but I do think that it may upset some children to talk to them about it.