How drunk are you? Official drinking test?

Question

This simple five question test will help determine how drunk you really are. Begin by answering each of the five questions below truthfully. Then determine your score based on question answer values provided. Lastly, compare your score to the results for a final answer.
1. Think about your wife. In your mind, is she: (a) the most beautiful woman alive; (b) a beautiful woman; (c) attractive; (d) ugly as sin.

2. Think about your job. In your mind, is it: (a) the best job on the planet; (b) a good job; (c) a decent job; (d) the most annoying job ever.

3. Try walking. What happened? Did you: (a) find it impossible to stand up; (b) fall after standing up; (c) walk fifty feet before falling flat on your face; (d) walk one thousand feet without falling.

4. How did you get to the bar? I got here in: (a) my brand new chauffer-driven limo; (b) a brand new car; (c) a used car; (d) a rented, rusted, and damaged 1950 japanese import.

5. What do you think of your strength? I am: (a) invincible; (b) stronger than anyone in the bar; (c) as strong as the average man; (d) a weak and pathetic being.

Question answer values

For every question answered with an A, add ten points.
For every question answered with a B, add five points.
For every question answered with a C, do not change the score.
For every question answered with a D, subtract five points.
For every question answered with an E, add one hundred points.

Results

For scores ranging from fifty to 135, congratulations. You're over and above the normal drunk. Generally, at least they are able to select a valid option. An e option does not even exist on this test. You should probably check yourself into a hospital for alcohol poisoning.

For scores ranging from thirty-five to fifty, you had ten too many beers. If you plan on driving home, make out a will first--that is, if you can even remember your own name. Lastly, don't even think about standing up.

For scores ranging from fifteen to thirty-five, you have had one too many beers. Don't drive unless you want a higher insurance rate. Standing up will probably result in injury.

For scores ranging from zero to fifteen, you may want to stop drinking now. You have probably had enough beers but don't drive unless you want a ticket. If you choose to ignore the tip to stop drinking, it is not a problem; you probably still have the ability to stand up.

For scores ranging from negative twenty-five to zero, you must just be getting started! I bet you don't even have one beer in you. In terms of driving, you are probably just getting out of the car and are walking to the bar this very moment.

people! this is a joke! many of u r not drunk at all! just read! jeeez

Answer 1

this is one of the funniest tests I've seen for awhile. passed with flying colors as I can't have anything with alcohol due to a medical condition. thanks for sharing this test as I'm going to pass it on.

Answer 2

Im smashed and I see through your feeble attempt of creating a numbers quiz to sober me up, gnarf. I didnt read it al too frustratingl but yes 5 A, I AM invincible. Suchn a long question have some consideration.

Answer 3

1. am not married- if i was it would be a man

2. i am in school i dont work

3. d

4. i do not go to the bar as i am to young

5. d for weak but i am a girl. and i am not pathetic

Answer 4

She looks good, what was the question again???
Im so hung over.
Haha last night(all day) was my (gettin 2 old) birthday

Answer 5

i like this but the test said i am no where near drunk so every thing is fine

Answer 6

i do not drink so that means i do not get drunk.do not want to look and act like a fool

Answer 7

I thought I had a lot of time on my hands.

Answer 8

Yep, I'm still sober.

Answer 9

Omg..how long did it take you to write all that?

Im still at work no drinky drink till later.

Answer 10

WA WA WA WATS ATT UUU SSSAAAINNNGGG``