Any other SAHM's feel unfulfilled?

Question

My son is 5 months old and he is my entire world. But the days go by so slow. I feel very unfulfilled. Often times I wish I had more adult interaction, and could drive to work in the morning jamming to my favorite music, and enjoy an hour lunch break in peace. Do any other SAHM's feel this way? Do you think it would be selfish of me to work, since we can afford for me to stay home? I'm sure the guilt would eat me up.

Answer 1

It really takes time and patience to settle into staying at home. The adult interaction is so important! There are days I'd LOVE for my husband to just "talk shop". I want to hear about every detail - and it not involve kids!

I've stayed at home 10 years now - since my first was born. I now have 3 children. I've been exactly where you are and to be honest - it comes in waves. I'll probably be there again fairly soon. Get out of the house, if you can. Find a Mom's group. Start one if you can't find one. Perhaps there's somewhere you can volunteer your time. Meals on wheels? You can take baby along and do the world some good!

ANd please - if you feel the need to go back to work in order to be fulfilled: DO IT! Don't feel guilty. If that makes you a better person, it'll make you a better parent. Period. Don't let anyone (even yourself) make you feel guilty.

Take care and cherish the time with your little one.

Answer 2

What you feel is completely normal and no, you are not selfish for feeling this way. I have been a SAHM for almost four years and do not plan to go back to work until my kids are in school full time. Believe me, I have been where you are! It sounds like you need a change of pace, and you dO need adult interaction and time alone, whether you stay home or not. What about a SAHM's group in your area? You could look for one online. You's be surprised how many there are around. You could also try La Leche League. Anywhere where you might meet other women who could relate to you would be great, but also when your child gets a little bigger he would have other kids to play with. Try to get out as much as possible. Have your partner or a friend or family member babysit for your son while you go out shopping or out to lunch with a friend. I would try this first before going back to work, and then if you are still unhappy maybe you could find something part time. That way you could still have lots of time with your son. Give yourself some time and I think the answer will come to you. Good luck :)

Answer 3

I hear you! The day sometimes seemed to drag by when my son was a baby....and I found that if I had a project to work on, trying to squeeze it in between playing, feeding, napping, the day went by much faster. Also, I think a mother's morning out program or a church pre-school might be a very good compromise for you. It will give you some much needed alone/adult time, and your child will be fine a few hours a couple times a week without you. It's not like daily daycare in which he would be spending the entire day with strangers, I mean, what's the point of having a kid? I think all your feelings are very normal.

Answer 4

A happy woman is a happier mother. If you feel work will fulfill, how about trying to go back part-time?

It sounds like you are just lonely for adult interaction: look into play groups, reading clubs, sewing clubs, adult sports leagues, library events, etc. Whatever you enjoy as a hobby, I'm sure there is a club for it in your area - if not, start one! Also, many movie theaters offer special mommy showings around midday - lights a little brighter, sound a little lower, strollers allowed, ushers to help get your snacks and bring diapers, etc. If you have this in your city, go one day. Afterwards, strike up a conversation with another mom - you could get a group together to see the mommy movies sometimes and go for coffee or lunch afterwards. Go out for walks and to the park, too. Sure your baby is too young to slide and things like that, but most babies enjoy the outdoors and playing in the grass. You can meet parents there too. I am a full-time homemaker and while I know my work is incredibly important, I do feel like I don't do enough occasionally. Then I volunteer somewhere - a morning in a soup kitchen does wonders for the soul!

Answer 5

Yes, I think that's a common feeling among SAHM's.... I have and almost 3yr. old/1yr.old and there's times I just get so lonely. My husband just doesn't understand, I rarely go out and see other people and we just moved to a new area so I don't know anyone.. I can only cook/clean for so long....I'm looking for pt. work in the evening, so it should get better I hope... If you can afford to stay home that's nice, but maybe join a mommy group or take the kids to some sort of park/play area....

Answer 6

I know how you feel, I have two kids 14 & 12, there is some pretty good daycare out there if only a couple hours a week. Sometimes being a good "mommy" is taking a few min. for yourself. Personnely I didn't take the time and now I feel lost. You just might feel guilty at first, but in the long run you might be a happier person. As for your baby, he'll be just fine. Babys react off of your emotions, so when mamas happy everyone is happy. Good Luck!

Answer 7

There are so many Stay-at-Home Moms who feel the way you do that they could fill Madison Square Garden and Yankee Stadium and still have people waiting outside! Look for some groups, Mommie and Me. There are places where they have movies for moms with toddlers in the afternoons, check in your area. I don't know if it is Clearview or Loew's, but if you google it, you can find it. There is MOPS, Moms of Pre-Schoolers. What about church? Don't you have any in your neighborhood? Find a group of mothers who are also at home and have playdates for your children. Go online to Oprah's message board and find some friends who can give you moral support. Hang in there.
Babies are wonderful, but you should not feel guilty just because your little boy does not encompass every happiness in your life. He was never meant to be the be-all and end-all. He'll grow up and enjoy a life of his own, so be sure you keep yours so you will maintain your sanity as well as your selfhood.

Answer 8

I feel exactly the same as the mom above. I try to fill my daughter and my day with outings. I spend time with my friend whos daughter is close to mine in age for some adult interaction during the day. I plan on staying home until my daughter is in school. These first years are so precious. I can always work, this time will never happen again.


If you feel like you're going to feel guilty for going back to work then maybe consider working part time. Ultimately, do what's best for you and your family. Good luck to you.

Answer 9

What you are feeling is perfectly fine and normal. It would not be selfish to work. Lots of women want to work. Don't let those people who say "you had the baby now take care of it" get to you because they don't know your background. Work if you want to. I don't see why you should sit at home every day feeling bad. Maybe work just part time?

Answer 10

That might be what you need.. To get away a couple of hours each day.. If your really good with people and have good people skills I would say sale sex toys as a side job that way you can still stay home with the baby and every once and a while do sex toy party so that you can get away.. good side pocket money for your and time with the ladies.. You meet new people and having fun chatting with the girls.. I like a company called passion parties... Go to their site and see what they have to offer.. It's a nice side job and help you get away and learn to be free and relax and talk with other women who can relate to things...