A few people think I have an alcohol problem. Others don't. What do you think?

Question

- I'm 22 years old and in graduate school.
- I almost never drink enough to get hangovers.
- I drink 3-5 nights per week.
- Drinking does not interfere with school or work responsibilities.
- It's not putting me into debt.
- I drink only high quality beer (1-2 bottles) on weekdays.
- I don't drink hard liquor or wine.
- I prefer to drink my beer alone, listen to music, write, and relax.
- I look forward to the beer. It's really good beer. (top-rated Belgians, trappists, imperial stouts, imperial IPAs)
- Friends who don't drink very much (quantity or frequency) are a little worried.

Don't respond with a question, "Do YOU think you have a problem?" Obviously I go back and forth between justifying/minimizing and thinking it's an issue. That's why I pose the question here.

Does it sound like a problem?

Okay, we have 7 who say it's a problem, 10 who say no it's not, and 5 on the fence.

It wouldn't be called alcohol dependence. The dependence, if you must call it that, would be purely psychological (not chemical, the way DSM-IV states).

Good points about quality/hangovers/debt being irrelevant. Just wanted to indicate the extent to which it doesn't appear to be interfering with social/academic/occupational functioning.

I told myself I'd stop drinking on weekdays a couple weeks ago. I've managed to do that without any problems or physical withdrawal, but "relapsed" and had a couple beers a couple nights when I was bored.

Answer 1

On the surface it does not appear to be a problem. There isn't sufficient quantity, frequency or dysfunction to warrant concern which means that it is a little unusual that you would be asking this question. That is the first red flag.

It seems a little unusal that friends would be so worried about 1-2 beers 3-5 nights per week. It isn't something one would even necessarily notice (particularly at 22 in college- the peak "beer years"). But perhaps there are some nights that it gets out of hand? How much consumption on the weekends? How often the hanovers?

Maybe you are giving them hints that it is something to notice.
Why prefer to drink alone. Would drinking with others be less attractive? Do you find that you are missing out on social opportunities? For example, passing up a get together so you can go home a enjoy your beer. Do you provide the same pattern of excuses to others or yourself (e.g. I just need to go home and unwind).

The fact that you emphasize the "high quality" of the beer suggests a need to make some rationalization for your drinking. There is nothing wrong with looking forward to a Budweiser.

Do these red flags seem like you have a problem. Yes and no. Many people with an alcohol problem would have these red flags, but you could have another problem as well- more in the relm of being obsessive or maybe even a bit hypochondrical if we are truly only talking about 3-5 beers per week. Maybe the concern about the beers is a red herring and the real concern has more to do with a social phobia. Drinking can often be a form of self-medication, but of course, eventually it can take on a life of its own!!

So if you are concerned enough to be asking the question, then heed the warning. Something is very likely to be going on that requires some attention.

Start with a professional therapist. Explain your concerns. Invest a couple of sessions to get a professional answer.
It is likely to be the best investment that you will ever make!

Answer 2

Usually I read the answers before I put in my 2 cents because I don't want to repeat what others have said. This time I have not.

I think I knew I was an alcoholic but was in denial.

I always drank more than my friends and they thought how great it was that I had such a high tolerance.

I'm going to skip about 20 years of stories so you don't get bored. Several years later I walked into an AA meeting. I knew I wasn't like "them." I listened to their stories and decided I hadn't lost my license, my home, my family, (did lose a couple of jobs but honestly didn't know it was related to my drinking). I went to a couple more meetings and continued to listen. They say look for the similarities, not the differences. I heard things that I could relate to and started to take it seriously. It doesn't matter if you drink "good" beer or hard liquor.

In order to attend an AA meeting you are suppose to have a desire to stop drinking. I would invite you to consider attending a meeting and telling them you don't know if you are an alcoholic. You will be welcomed and perhaps it will help you decide (honestly), to clarify some things in your mind.

I am now sober six years. I was 53 when I joined AA. I wasted so much of my life. Don't waste yours.

Best of luck.

Answer 3

The best way to find out if there's a problem, is to stop drinking for a few (3-4) weeks. The way you feel about the break, and how hard it is to stick to it, will tell you if you are addicted to drinking. If you get angry about the idea of stopping, or stall and procrastinate, or can't make it through a few weeks without drinking, there's your answer.

As for the quality of your beer, that has no effect on whether you're an alcoholic or not, There are just as many rich women addicted to Tanqueray and tonic as there are derelict winos living on the street, if not more.

Answer 4

I'm the same age and also in grad school so I can relate to you. Drinking until you have a hangover isn't always a good indicator that you have a problem. The fact that you drink 3-5 nights/week isn't a big deal if you aren't getting drunk/buzzed most of those nights. I have a glass of wine everyday with my dinner and go out on weekends with my friends, but I definitely don't consider myself to be an alcoholic.

I hate to say this, but you are the only person who knows you have a problem or not. I'd schedule an appt with an alcohol counselor if you feel like you have a problem.

Also, you could try not drinking for a few days and see how it affects you.

Answer 5

I think everyone is struggling with this question, including me, because there is NOT ENOUGH INFORMATION HERE TO MAKE AN ACCURATE DIAGNOSIS !!!!!!! Any diagnostic formulations based on the information presented would be bogus.

Look you ask a legitimate question.
You appear to be honestly trying to come up with a correct assessment.
But, I have been doing drug and alcohol assessments for 30 years and there is just not enough info here. No fault of yours -- I just think you don't know what the important pieces are.

Quite honestly, in my experience, anyone who thinks about the question as much as you almost always meet the criteria for substance abuse. There does not appear to be a substance dependence. By-the-way, substance dependence is measured by loss of control and either tolerance, and withdrawal.

Addiction is a biochemical brain disease. As such you can not base diagnosis on any one block of time and use unless the block of time represents 12 consecutive months of your heaviest use of all substances. That piece is not here.

You are a graduate student. That suggests you have access to university campus. Usually a university campus has a counseling service. I would suggest making an appointment and discussing the question with them. You will finally get THE answer not AN answer.

Answer 6

It's not a problem yet, and you're managing it well. But 3-5 times a week does indicate a dependence, as does the way you "look forward" to it. Dependence is an early stop on the road to addiction, so you might want to evaluate where you are and the path you're taking.

If you don't think you're dependent, take the challenge: don't consume any alcohol for one week. Note how this impacts your life, any mood swings you might notice. Do you find you can't enjoy your evening/music/writing just as much without your beer? If so, then you're definitely developed a dependence on beer.

You don't have to quit cold turkey or forever - just try to ease out of your dependence, and consider attending a few AA meetings or therapy sessions to help you examine your need for beer's effects.

Answer 7

If you have more than one person telling you you have a problem, take them seriously. Really look objectively at why you drink - is it to unwind and relax? Is it to escape a bit? Do you enjoy the buzz?

It doesn't really matter what types of drinks or the frequency. What matters is if the pattern is developing and becoming a concern. That you drink alone is a clear indication that something may be, pardon the pun, brewing. I know folks who are flaming alcoholics and only drink beer. I know others who drink only wine. You don't have to go into debt in order to appear to have a problem - the problem can, and often does, exist long before you dump your life savings into it.

Answer 8

the fact that you can drink up to 5 nights a week is worrying.

from previous experience i used to fall asleep in gutters half way through talking i drank that much and that was hard liqours and i never got a hangover so some people vary.

looking forward to beer sounds like you may be on the way to needing the beer. if its getting to you that much try visiting the doctor and tell him all the things you have put on here.

Answer 9

Anybody who always drinks 3-5 nights a week whether or not you get hangovers and whether it's only top rated beers and whether you don't drink hard liquor or wine has a drinking problem. People who say they don't have a problem don't see that they have a problem.

Answer 10

you are what is called a functioning alcoholic but it is still an alcoholic . i don;t know where you live but the are some good na beers on the market probably not the brands your use to but Oodles (Sp) by AN. Bush Comp. it even comes in a dark beer. just a suggestion . i know plenty of friends who go to AA but i also know ones since you don't drink liquor or wine who drink the na beer. good luck