Davie walks into a bar and sees his friend Norm slumped over the bar. Davie walks over and asks Norm what's wrong.
"Well," replies Norm, "You know that gorgeous girl at work that I told you I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"
"Yes," replies Davie.
"Well," says Norm, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."
"That's great!" says Davie, "When are you going out?"
"I went to meet her this evening," continues Norm,"But I was worried i'd get an erection again. So, I got some duct tape out of my garage and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did get a woody, it wouldn't show."
"Sensible." says Davie.
"So I get to her door,"says Norm,"and rang her doorbell. She answered in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw."
"And what happened then?"
Norm slumps back over the bar again. "I kicked her in the face."
2007-06-20 07:30:47 · 19 answers · asked by MYKLIA G 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Nail The Cow
A farmer is giving his wife last-minute instructions before heading to town to do chores.
"That fellow from Sematol will be along this afternoon to inseminate one of the cows. I've hung a nail by the right stall so you'll know which one I want him to impregnate."
Satisfied that even his mentally challenged wife could understand the instructions, the farmer left for town.
That afternoon, the 'Inseminator' arrives, and the wife dutifully takes him out to the barn and directly to the stall with the nail.
"This is the cow right here," she tells him.
"What's the nail for?" the guy asks.
Replies the wife, "I guess its to hang up your pants."
2007-06-20 08:16:06 · answer #1 · answered by bilbo b 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Be Jesus, woman.
I've just p****d me pants, mind you the cats not too pleased.
Addition: 22:50hrs.
Still wincing of how the hell he's going to remove the tape?
One for you:
"The three rings of marriage."(from a male point of view)
1 - Engagement RING
2 - Wedding RING
3 - Then the SuffeRING
Good night,
I'll die tomorrow..
2007-06-20 07:41:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats hilarious
2016-04-01 08:06:34 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent joke.!!!
10/10.!!!
Funny.
2007-06-20 08:23:56 · answer #4 · answered by JAM123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my that is a very funny joke......2 thumbs up and a star.
2007-06-20 07:49:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol omg
lmao :D
best joke ever
lol
10/10
heres a star
2007-06-20 07:35:27 · answer #6 · answered by Katziie .x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMIAOSFHISMS Yet another great one and still wishing I could give more than one star.
2007-06-20 20:13:45 · answer #7 · answered by Jim Jnr M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holy $h!t! That was a freakin’ Scream! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh! Sweetie! I could shower you with stars for this one… truly awesome!
2007-06-20 07:56:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg so funny good job have a star
2007-06-20 07:35:07 · answer #9 · answered by tiggernck 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
lmao hah
2007-06-20 08:07:02 · answer #10 · answered by aznlakersmaniac 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋