I feel a little left out at work. My boss is a nice guy, but he is a little hard to talk to. He doesn’t seem interested in current events or what the fed is doing (like most lenders at a bank). There are two other guys that I work with who have been here for about a year. My boss will always stop by their office and say hi and ask how major events in their life are coming along, but always skips over me. Not that I blame him, I don't really have anything to say. He is older than me, but not old (probably late 30’s) married with three kids while I am still single and don’t want kids…or marriage for that matter.
Any ideas of stuff that I can talk about without sounding too desperate for attention?
2007-06-20 06:45:23 · 20 answers · asked by Cherry Darling 6 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment ➔ Other - Careers & Employment
Thanks for ALL of your answers!
For the record, I'm not "interested" in my boss or having an affair. I'm new at this job and I just want to get along better with him.
2007-06-20 07:01:52 · update #1
Summer just started. Ask what the kids are doing to keep busy. Playing sports/swimming lessons? Going to camp? Are they planning any trips?
A default is to ask on Fridays if he has any fun plans for the weekend, then follow up on Monday and ask how it went. Same works for holidays. If you get him to answer, you can always work into the conversation what you have planned/did so he can get to know you better.
If your local sports team (or American Idol, Survivor, etc). was on tv last night, ask if he watched/knows the score or who won/was voted off.
Ask if he's been to the new(er) restaurant nearby, and if he can recommend anything. If he hasn't, ask what his favorite restaurant in the area is.
He might not talk to you, because he doesn't know what to ask, so ask questions that you can add on to and help him get to know you better.
2007-06-20 07:01:51 · answer #1 · answered by HefeweizenHippie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Current events and interest rates? Um, I don't blame him for not being interested. Go for small talk. "How are things going?" "Seen any good movies lately?" Don't seek him out to start a conversation about generic chat too often, though. That would be desperate.
There could be a few reasons he skips you. First off, he could simply be friends with the 2 guys there and have known them longer. Or, have more in common with them. Second, he's got to be careful to make it not seem like he's flirting or crossing boundaries. Bosses and employers of the *same* gender can cross many more lines (in terms of honest office talk) than people of opposite genders.
Why do you care if he talks to you anyway? Maybe he doesn't want to talk, or is more comfortable talking to people he has more in common with. If I was you, I'd leave it alone. If he comes to talk to you, great. If not, it doesn't matter-- leave it alone.
It's NOT your job to talk to your boss about non-work things. It's NOT your bosses job to be your friend.
Be cordial and say "hello, how are you" type phrases, and if he doesn't seem to want to continue a conversation, drop it.
2007-06-20 07:01:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I just want to say that I manage a team of 10 people. I don't have stuff in common with all of them. We're not all the same age. We don't all have kids. We're not all married... BUT, it is my job to know my team. That means stopping and saying hi to all of them and finding some common ground. Your boss is shirking his duties. I think it says a lot for you that you are willing to make an effort.
First thing I would do is just get in the habit of saying hi as you walk by him or his office (you can simply poke your head in and say hi). You can then add stuff like how's your day going, or how was the weekend. If he's talking to people that sit around you, you can listen for things they talk about (sports, tv, hobbies) and pick one you can discuss as well. Start adding those to your hi, how're things going routine. Finally, you can always talk about work. Stop by to specifically give him some feedback - especially if it's positive - about how your job is going. Pepper in some personal things about why it's a good job for you (if it is of course). It sounds like your boss has a hard time getting the ball rolling. You can probably toss him a line by sharing some information about yourself.
2007-06-20 06:55:40 · answer #3 · answered by MovieBuffJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boss doesn't want to appear like he's flirting with a younger woman by always sitting around chatting with her like he does with the guys. There is nothing that you could discuss with your boss in a one on one conversation in the office that is going to look innocent to everyone else. When he's over chatting with the guys go over and participate in their conversation, then this will make your boss feel more comfortable around you and feel like your just one of the guys. But, you should remember that being a woman and being too friendly with your boss sends all kinds of negatives, just be as you are and don't laugh at him when he's not funny, it says you're just chumming up to him when you become a giggler. DO discuss things like sports, last nights program, up coming concerts. DON'T ask about his family let him bring up that conversation
2007-06-20 07:08:13 · answer #4 · answered by Neenah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want him to be interested in your life, try getting interested in his life. Ask him how his day is going, how he's feeling, how his kids are (you don't have to like kids yourself to be politely interested in the well-being of someone else's kids). Ask him if he has any fun plans for the weekend (to get a sense of how he spends his time - if he spends all weekend doing house repairs or jogging or gardening, that gives you a topic to bring up next time).
Don't get too personal or private though - anything relating to sex, romance, or detailed physical/medical conditions is none of your business, even if he discusses it with others.
2007-06-20 06:53:57 · answer #5 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You mentioned he talked to the other guys. Most likely does not want any rumors of interoffice romance started. Give it time, give everyone a chance to know you, and your professionalism, and things will ease up.Being the new person is hard and it takes time to build friendly relationships. Just do your job, continue being friendly and eventually people will open up. You'll do fine
2007-06-20 06:51:34 · answer #6 · answered by Pengy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You probably intimidate him - especially if that's really you in the picture. His wife may have warned him about being friendly with the female office staff. I would just smile when I saw him, and stop worrying about starting a conversation with him.
I wish you well!
2007-06-20 06:50:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
in my experience all bosses that i ever had have been assholes so if it were me i wouldnt bother at all. why dont you wait until he passes you next time and just burst out into tears, he should stop come over to see whats wrong and then you can get into the old 'nobody likes me' phase lol
2007-06-20 09:09:27 · answer #8 · answered by merv c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
with all of the lawsuits and claims of harassment out there,he is probably erring on the side of caution and only speaking to you and other female employees when it is required for a job related task.Don't blame him,blame the cut-throat lawyers and those women who abused the system for a quick payment.
2007-06-20 06:51:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask about his kids and family (not 2 personal stuff)...umm why dont you want 2 get married my the way? ha well just talk about what ever pops up in your head just stop by to say hi or anything else hope i helped
2007-06-20 06:51:14 · answer #10 · answered by average joe 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋