My mom is a 57 year old widow(dad died 7 years ago) and I am her only child. Even though I am 30 years old myself, she still sometimes treasts me like a dumb teenager who doesn't know any better. She dissapproved of my last girlfriend and would snoop through my home to look for evidence of things getting serious with us, like we were going to secretly elope or something. What can I do??? I know she loves me and just wants whats best but she has to trust me on making my own decisions too and she has no right to go through my things(she claims to have every right to do so because its in my best interests)
2007-06-20 06:19:43 · 14 answers · asked by Mark T 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
try and talk to her about it or do what i do...."yes, mom, you're right"
see what most people dont understand that when you are an older person you are set in your ways and nothing will change that person. so either deal with it or completely get out of the situation.
2007-06-20 06:27:50 · answer #1 · answered by dywillacker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth are you still living with your mother??????? You are 30 and you need a life of your own--ON your own! The answer is simple! Figure out your budget--I'm sure you are a working man! Figure out how much you can afford--even a BOARDING HOUSE would be better than living there!! If you have to, move to another town to get a better job; take out a student loan for college or training school to get a better job! DO EVERYTHING you can and follow through---OR prepare to spend the rest of your life with her and eventually taking care of her! Then, if that's what you want, you can have your revenge and constantly go through HER things and say it's in her best interests. Of Course, that would be a waste of your life--but it's your choice!
2007-06-20 11:50:30 · answer #2 · answered by Martell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's worse if you're an only child. All of her attention has always been focused on you and your needs. I'm 34, married, and have 3 kids...and my mom still asks me to call her after we've been gone for the day so she knows we made it home safely. LOL You know what though, I keep reminding myself of how much I would miss doing that if she weren't here. Thank God she never snooped through my things though!
Explain to your mom that you love her, but that you are grown up now and that she's raised you to be a good person. She needs to have faith in you and in the way she raised you now.
Good luck!
2007-06-20 07:54:01 · answer #3 · answered by JC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, sounds like you got a load on your hands. I would let her know where you stand by being firm and standing your ground. Personally, I am going through this with my future Mother-in-Law. She's very overbearing and has separation issues. It's time to cut the apron strings! He's 35 years old and she also treats him like a three year old that doesn't have any sense (including me). My only suggestion would be to sit down and really talk things out. I'm very sorry you are in this situation. It will also make it hard to date.
2007-06-20 06:29:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you still live withyourmom? cuz if so, you NEED to move out. that will go a long way towards keeping your stuff private and asserting your independence. if you do live on your own, then i think it's time to have a talk with your mum. tell her that it is NOT ok for her to go thru your things and that you are old enough to make your own decisions. she's prolly just worried that you'll leave her. so reassure her that you still love her. but if she doesn't trust you and treat you as an adult, then you might have to love her from a distance for awhile.
2007-06-20 06:25:48 · answer #5 · answered by Beautiful Disaster 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Change your locks on the door. Why does she have a key. Remember to her you are still a teenager. All parents act like that. Don't take new girlfriends around her until you think you have found the one to get serious with. She does think that she has your best interest in mind.
2007-06-20 06:24:28 · answer #6 · answered by bluebird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder, sounds off the wall, but what if you showed her this letter, and said it had bothered you so much, you actually put it on here for help! I do believe it would hurt her feelings, some, BUT, yours are being hurt now, and mabe then you could both get over it. As long as the people's answers were not too crass, you could let her read them, too!
2007-06-20 06:31:45 · answer #7 · answered by chicknamedsam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find her a boyfriend. Then she won't have time to focus on you. Could be she's lonely. Seriously find her a boyfriend. You'd be amazed at the difference it would make! She just needs a life of her own. She's not a bad person, just scared and bored!
2007-06-20 06:27:26 · answer #8 · answered by ransomschoice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move away from her. My mom was the same way and I moved 3 states away. Now she is great!! She's always on her best behavior because she doesn't get to see me every day. Sometimes we have to cut the apron strings and get away. Worked for me.
2007-06-20 06:24:02 · answer #9 · answered by Amy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before you invite her over, hide things around your house for her to find that give her entirely the wrong impression, like gay porn and LOTS of dildos and 8x10 glossies of David Hasslehoff. That should shut her up.
2007-06-20 06:23:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋