espcially if were both in navy
2007-06-20 05:26:16 · 43 answers · asked by Caylee's Mommy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
im not asking this question because im not ready or anything like that i just want to know what you all think, i know marriage takes alot off work! we are very mature for our age
2007-06-20 05:47:09 · update #1
i meant OF not off
2007-06-20 05:47:27 · update #2
That depends. Are you both mature enough to be married? That's something you need to answer, not anyone here. There is no right age to get married. There are some 18 year olds who are ready. Then again there are some 40 year olds who still aren't ready. It all depends.
2007-06-20 05:29:58 · answer #1 · answered by Mia1385 4 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Professional Adivce
Engaged is Fine BUT Navy or Not. ITS NOT A GOOD AGE AT ALL to get married. With both of you being in the military and being young you are enduring at lot of stressful issues. More than "normal" people your age that live as civilians. I think you need to wait and give BOTH yourselves time to really find out what makes each other tick and what doenst.
Marriage is a issue and event in life that needs to be taken seriously. I have seen way tooo many YOUNG couples get married and it never works. Granted it may have worked for your grandparents or your parents, but take into consideration how much the world has changed since then.
When it worked for them things were very differet:
#1 You could trust a person's word
#2 Men Respected Women
#3 Money was NEVER an issue ...people werent materialistic
NOW:
#1 You can not trust what a person says
#2 Men really dont respect women like they used to
#3 Money is always an issue
These are MAJOR issues as to why young couples should not get married. The biggest of those is MONEY. Young couples think everything is great and forget that there are still going to be bills to pay and maybe more than before. You have to discuss weither you will have joint accounts or seperate accounts and one joint account that will pay the bills. What bills will be paid by the joint account? and so forth. Is this something you are ready to tackle? IF not then you definatly are not ready to get married.
MONEY IS THE #1 KILLER OF MARRAIGES.
Before getting married both partners MUST be financially, emotionally, and physically stable.
2007-06-20 05:57:42 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 23 years old and my husband and I got married when I was 21. We were together for 3 years before we got engaged and 5 years before we got married. We also lived together before we got married, so we knew that we could would get along with each other.
Honestly, I think that you should wait awhile, especially since you are just 18 and 19 and are both in the navy. If it is meant to be, you can get married later on. At least, at the very least, wait a couple of years and make sure that you still love each other enough to spend the rest of your lives together because you both will change and it may not work out.
I hope you think, really think, about this before you do it, for you and your boyfriend's sake. Good luck!
2007-06-20 05:48:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know lots of people who got married young (like 17 or 18) and they are still together 4, 5, or 10 years later and doing fine. What determines whether the marriage will work or not is not the age of the people getting married but how much you are willing to put into it. If you love each other and are willing to give everything you have into this then it will work. Marriage takes a lot of sacrifice and communication and work. If you are willing to do that even if you are in the Navy, and stick with it, then if will be good. Remember the vows are "in sickness and health, good times and bad". People seem to forget that...
Personally, If I was traveling around with the navy and meeting new people and experiencing new things all the time I would want someone in my life who I could share them with, and who better than your best friend and lover? It will take lots of work, but if you are willing to fight for it then go for it. If not, wait until you are and save yourself the heart ache.
2007-06-20 05:56:06 · answer #4 · answered by Fstop11 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nowdays 95% of all marraiges that start when you are 21 or younger end in divorce. Those arent very good odds at all. Personally, I wouldnt do anything that affected my life greatly with only a 5% chance of success.
There is a reason for this. Although at 18 and 19 you think you know what you want in life. You just dont have the maturity yet. I can almost guarantee at 25 you will look back at when you were 18 and ask yourself "what was I thinking?"
Its kind of like if you ask a 4 year old to pick one TV show to watch for the rest of their life. They would pick something like Barney. An adult couldnt convince them that in a few years they would like something else.
Unfortunately for young people like yourself, You most likely wont listen to those statistics or older people who have already lived and experienced. Part of being a young adult is thinking you know whats right for yourself and then growing up and realizing you were so wrong.
Reality: if I were in vegas and saw you were about to get married, I would bet 10 grand against your marraige working. And I would most likely win. The odds would be in my favor.
Now, its your life, you make the choice.
2007-06-20 05:41:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can love each other without getting married! You need to live life alot more and figure out who you really are before you involve someone else in that part your life. Putting a title as husband and wife on your love for each other does not mean he will love you more, not cheat on you, or stay with you for ever. Take a look around you and wonder why the divorce rate is so high? WAIT to get married to your atleast 25, if you were ready you would not be asking this question!!!!
2007-06-20 05:41:09 · answer #6 · answered by Little Lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a big question anytime there is a war on.
There are pluses to getting married now. Many war brides get married so they can get the benifits of the insurance, housing, and scholarships only offered the them if they are "wives".
The drawback is that you will change alot in your 20s and going to war always changes a person so your husband might not be the same guy he was when he left just like you might not be the same woman. Divorce is exspensive.
Only you can make that decision sweetheart. As far as getting engaged go for it. I don't care if people want to get engaged at 12. Engagements can be as long as you need them to be and people for get that egagments CAN be broken if it doesn't work out. For some couples it's actually a good thing because they get that comittment they want without having to rush into marraige before they are ready for it.
2007-06-20 05:33:06 · answer #7 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
marriage is a tricky thing at any age. if you both love each other with a love that will never die then that's cool. i'm 23 and my fianc'e is 21. we'll be married this august and although we get people making that face that says "oh no!" we know that we will stay true to each other and be there for one another for the rest of our lives. Thats all it takes. think about them in 5 year intervals until you are both 100. if you can still love that mans personality for that long, then you got what it takes. best of luck and congratulations. R.
2007-06-20 06:03:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No - most military marriages don't work out. I was married at that age when my ex-husband and I were in the Marines. We joined together but it didn't work out and we ended up getting divorced four years later. The military is a stressful job and its likely you're going to spend a certain amount of time separated. This can bring up trust issues or whatnot. If you decide to go on with the marriage - g'luck.
2007-06-20 05:38:22 · answer #9 · answered by bipornorican 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah! Surprisingly, the people I know who got married in their teens or met in thier teens, last longer than people in their late 20's. Some might disagree, but since both are in the navy wouldn't that make them more responsible (as long as the guy doesn't cheat)?
Also if you think about it, if you have kids at young age, when your kids grow up you still have the rest of your life to look forward too. you'll only be about 45, and can move on.
2007-06-20 05:37:45 · answer #10 · answered by o.o 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
From personal experience, I would say that this is too young to be married...Engaged is probably different, but I would wait to get married, if it were up to me.
I know you're legal, and I know you're mostly adult. But the truth of the matter is that a lot of maturing happens between 20 and 25. I met my husband when I was 17, and got married when I was 22...I was still too young and emotionally immature.
If it's really a forever love, there's no need to rush into it.
2007-06-20 05:31:30 · answer #11 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋