What do you do if you *must* maintain a relationship with someone you simply *cannot* bear?

Question

Greetings ~

Like you *must* ~ and there are no two ways about it?

Thank you
Scots Pines

Answer 1

Normally the only time I have to do that is for work so I just remind myself that I am getting paid to do so.

Answer 2

Depends if we're talking about a work setting or a domestic / social setting.

In a work setting you might consider another job, or getting into "The Prince" (Machiavelli) to see if the situation can be manipulated so that it goes away.

Domestically / socially you might minimise the contact time. You might also engineer more time together, but under different circumstances, some where they are not able to behave in such a way as to be unbearable. So, if someone is full of bluff and bluster you might call their bluff (but in the nicest possible way).

Finally, you might take a detached view: in what ways do they irritate you; is this deliberate or just the way they are; identify the motivation for their behaviour. To do this you might need more information on their background / upbringing.

Good luck.

Answer 3

If you really want help with this, why are you withholding all the information we need to be able to help you?

Is this someone at work?

A family member?

An ex-spouse?

A friend of a friend?

A neighbor?

What it is about the person you can't bear?

What do you mean you can't bear this person?

Why do you have to maintain a relationship?

If you want us to help, you need to give us some hint of a clue as to the situation.

Since you didn't, all I can say is be polite but distant.

You may want to remove this question and ask again, but giving relevant details.

That's what the Details field is for.

Answer 4

Distance is always best in dealing with difficult relationships, when possible. Try to make contact as infrequently as possible, just the times necessary to maintain the relationship. If you must see the person, try to schedule it at times when the two of you will not be alone, but other people will be present. This helps to diffuse those awkward and sometimes hostile moments between two people who don't like one another.

Answer 5

Are you talking about a business relationship or a personal relationship?

If it is a business relationship you must act professionally. if it is a personal relationship what hold could a person have over you That would make you think that you "must" maintain that relationship whilst not liking them. That doesn't sound healthy to me get out

Answer 6

I don't think there is ever a "must" to actually maintain a relationship---- even a family or professional one. You can "appear" to be civil, which is different than actually maintaining a relationship. You just proceed with life and "hello" and "goodbye" and do you you must to get thru the day- bare minimum- pretty easy in fact.

Answer 7

Tell him the truth,that you cant stand him, but because you cant leave him (although for the life of me, I cant see what would be the situation to make it a 'must' to remain in the relationship) you are there, so have an open relationship etc and both of you know where you stand in the pretend relationship

Answer 8

Often there are people that you cannot like. Depending upon the relationship, such as if you are married to the person you cannot stand, there is nothing you can do about it until you get away from them. If this relationship is job connected, you can try to get out of the department you are working in. Of course the only thing left is to try to find something about the person that you coule possibly like. If this is impossible, try to avoid the person as much as you can. Perhaps the person dislikes you as much as you dislike them. Stay away and avoid the person as much as possible.

Answer 9

Limit your interaction to only what is absolutely necessary. Stick to whatever it is that has you two tied together - don't go off on tangents or make small talk. Show them an appropriate level of respect and courtesy, and insist they do the same for you. Try to reach a point where the "working relationship" has as little tension as possible, and part company immediately after the work is complete.

Answer 10

i don't understand why you should stay in the relationship with someone that you cannot stand.

but whatever the relationship is, whether it is friendship, romantic, or proffessional, communication is always the best way to keeping a relationship positive. talk to the person about what is bothering/annoying you, and see if you can work on what they find bothering/annoying of yourself. If you still find that you cannont stand the relationship, i suggest that you find someone to replace yourself, keep yourself busy, and try to slowly move away from the relationsihp.

Answer 11

Do your best to always be and keep things on a positive note. If there are negative things that come up or that is said, the just counteract it with a positive. To every negative there is a postive. Just know this and good luck.