Why do people expect alcohol to be served at the wedding reception, and gets an attitude if there’s a cash bar

Answer 1

Because when you apply the term "wedding" to anything, expectations change.

Honestly, if you invited the same group of people to a BYOB party at your house, they would be thrilled to come, and to bring a bottle of their own. Even if it wasn't a BYOB party, they most certainly would NOT expect you to have every combination of every drink available for as long as they want...If you had a keg and it ran out, they'd be happy about having beer while it lasted.

And by the way, no one is forcing them to drink. No one ever says, "Hey, the only thing to drink here is alcohol, but you have to buy your own"...A cash bar is usually an add-on to other items that are being served. If they CHOOSE to buy themselves a drink, they have no one to be mad at but themselves.

I have NEVER been to a wedding that had a full open bar. I have often been offered all the wine or beer I wanted, and had the option to buy myself something else, if I really wanted it. Other times, I have been offered all the beer or wine I wanted, but had no option to buy something else. Perhaps this is based on the fact that I live in California, and we're sue-happy here.

Who cares if they got dressed up and got a gift? No one told them they had to...they could simply have declined the invitation, and gifts are ALWAYS optional. If they want to come celebrate, then they should come prepared to celebrate...It's not an occasion to get ripping drunk on someone else's dime! Anyone who says they're "suffering through" a wedding should not have been invited in the first place.

Funny that so many people say it's rude to put registry info on the invitation, since that seems greedy, but then they turn around and say it's rude to have a cash bar...Who's really the greedy one?

Answer 2

The best way to solve your problem is to ask at your reception site what their policy is on a bar. Some places will not let you bring in your own alcohol for the guests (i.e. putting bottles of wine of the tables) and insist the couple either uses their bar services or have no bar at all. Some reception sites won't allow you to have a cash bar. So you need to find out what the reception site will or won't allow you to do.
If the site is open to whatever, then I think you need to ask around to your invited guests if a cash bar is OK with them.
There is some weight to the response that you are inviting these people to a party and it would be rude to ask them for money.
Bottom line, find out from your reception site the cost differences of open bar, partial open/cash, limited open bar, or full cash bar before you start making the decision to axe the alcohol. You might find there is a way for you to serve alcohol throughout the day without going over your wedding budget.

Answer 3

It isn't that people expect there to be alcohol at the reception, but they do expect for everything to be paid for (i.e, thier meal, entertainment, and drinks). I have been to weddings where it is a soda bar only, but not a cash bar an no one complained.

Just think of it this way. If you were to spend money of gifts, clothing, possibly time off work to go to a party that someone was having and you were expected after you arrived to pruchase a piece of the birthday cake if you wanted some, it might seem a little ridiculous.

Answer 4

Most weddings do have alcohol, so people expect it. Most people do not bring extra money to a wedding to pay for drinks, because it is unexpected.

It may be wrong, but many people give a gift based on how they expect the wedding to be. So having an unexpected expense of drinks may bring on an attitude.

I have only once been to a wedding with a partial cash bar, didn't realize it until I was asked for money for my drink. Wine and beer were free. Didn't expect it, and was surprised.

Answer 5

Cash bars are tacky, IMO. I don't expect alcohol to be served and actually prefer weddings with no bar. I don't think a wedding is an appropriate place to get drunk... but that's just me! If there's a free bar, I would hope people realize that the couple is paying per drink and guests would keep their drinks to a very minimum!

Answer 6

I depends on the social class of the party. You would not have a no-host bar at a very ritzy wedding. Contrarily a hosted bar at a white trash wedding is just asking for trouble. I would evaluate the guest list first. If there are some people (Even one person) that can't handle alcohol well you may want to nix it all together.

Answer 7

I don't expect alcohol at a reception. Of course it's nice but I certainly wouldn't throw a hissy if it wasn't there.

I don't like cash bars or BYOB. For one thing most people don't bring cash to a wedding. For another if you can't afford to have an open bar or a limited bar then don't have the bar. It's like going into someones house and they say "well we have a six pack of soda but you're going to have to give us a dollar for it"....just don't have the soda in the first place.

Answer 8

I realize there are geographic and regional differences. I have never been to a wedding without an open bar. I look at it this way - You are inviting people to celebrate with you and, of course, a gift is expected. Would you invite people to a celebration in your home, give them free food and free cake and then give them a bill for alcohol?

Obviously people are different, this line of thinking just does not compute with me.

Answer 9

I think that people think that weddings and alcohol go hand in hand. When I think of weddings I think of dancing, drinking, and having a great time. I don't think they should get mad if it's a cash bar though. Not everyone can afford to have open bar the whole night so don't worry about those people are obviously not your real friends.

Answer 10

Because a wedding reception is supposed to be a party thrown by the bride and groom where they invite people to share in their joy. In the grown up world when you invite people to a party YOU supply the food and alcohol.
If you can't afford alcohol, have a dry reception.
a cash bar at a wedding is tacky. It just is. It says that you didn't put enough forethought into the whole thing to save up to be able to afford the whole package. They'll look at your fancy dress, the expensive flowers, the photographer and the cake and know that you skimped when it came to the enjoyment of your guests but splurged on everyting else.