I have a problem saying No, what do I do?

Question

If its telemarketers, people selling something at the door, if I walk into a store and am the only person I feel like I have to buy something. If I talk to a vendor about a price and then find a better deal later on, I feel bad about leading on the previous vendor and buy from them anyway. I worked in customer service for over 8 years when I was in highschool and college and know how those people feel and how hard they work, so I am never rude or send anything back no matter what. I need to change this but dont know how. Am I too nice or just a pansy?

Answer 1

No, you are not too nice maybe you're just looking for their approval. You feel bad about saying "no" because you are too worried about what they will think of you. You are worried too much about their feelings so much that you don't want to make them feel bad so you say, "yes" to many things that you know don't really want. Are you just too "nice"? No, misleading people to think that you want something that they are selling is offensive. It's not right to do things like that other people. Look, I'm not judging you, I struggle w/ the same issue. For me, I just told myself that I'm not here to liked and don't need other people's approval. It has cost me over $20, 000 to learn that I need to start saying, "no." You might have to seek counseling and search your heart. I believe that there's a real problem that goes beyond just saying, "no."

Answer 2

Hi,

I know how you feel. I worked in retail when I was in college and I still overtip. BUT here's the thing you can be polite and say no as well. Remember, you are buying things that you don't need, and that's going to hurt you and your loved ones in the long run (Add up all the subscriptions you've bought, the many you've spent on over payment) you could take a vacation with your family, you could give money to the charity of your choice, take a friend to dinner, etc.

Something that might help you is to say upfront (politley) "Thankyou for calling (stopping by) but I'm not looking to buy anything right now. I wouldn't want to waste your time. And just hangup, or close the door.

Also you might want to look at getting your self on the do not call list. That way you won't be getting calls in the 1st place.

When you go into a store, Just tell them upfront that you are pricing things out and have some questions. If you are making a big purchase (Anything over $100) make it a policy that you will price out the item in 3 places.

The do not call list's website is
https://www.donotcall.gov/default.aspx

Good luck!

Answer 3

Well, I wouldn't say you're a pansy, and you are not "too nice."

But you do need to be more assertive.

Here are some stock (but at least polite) phrases you can use at stores and with telemarketers:

"No, I'm just looking, thank you" -

"No thank-you, I'm really not interested. Please put my name on your do-not-call list. Thank you."

Put a sign on your door saying, "No soliciting." which should keep the door-to-door people away. If not, politely ask them to read the sign to you and say to them, "No thank you means No thank you." and shut the door.

"Charlie, I know you agreed to sell me this widget at X price; but Steve at Competitive company can get it for me at Y price - which is 000% cheaper. Can you go back and look at your figures once more and maybe we can still work to make this happen?"

Ask your company's employee assistance department if there are assertiveness training courses you could take to help you build up more confidence. I'd do this before you were evaluated because of poor performance - from not assertively asking for the best price...

Good luck.

Answer 4

This is exactly what they are trying to accomplish. You need to be firm and say please take me off your calling list I am not interested OK! When they come to your door do not answer even if the see you through a window they will get the picture, or answer the door and say I am not interested. Some of the biggest scams operate on a door to door basis. It is illegal in Chicago, IL now. Just keep in mind that they are not your friends not do they care about your well being. They are only there to take your money as much as they can get. Do not be foolish. Toughen up! Stop being a sissy and do not be afraid to speak your mind. DEMAND RESPECT you will receive it!
God Bless. I am one of the nicest people and honest on this planet, but I don't let people walk on me or take advantage of me. I learned this by hard lessons growing up in Chicago and being to trustworthy.
Good Luck.
Peace Out!

Answer 5

You are too nice. Practice saying no each day and don't talk to telemarketers. Don't open the door to salespeople and don't go into stores if you don't intend to buy anything there. They are all out to get your dollars. You work hard for you money, don't throw them away just because you think the sellers need your compassion. You need to save for you own future retirement. Start now!

Answer 6

Too nice and bordering on pansy. It is okay to say no. It does not have to be a rude or hateful no, but you can firmly say "NO" For your best interest you need to practice that little word. You do not need to be the world's doormat. Just practice in the mirror---I had to do this until one day it came naturally. People are not offended when you take care of yourself.
Peace.

Answer 7

In my opinion, you're being too nice or unnecessarily frustrating yourself. You should develop the courage to disregard the previous vendor and choose the vendor that offered you a better deal.

Answer 8

Welcome to my world.
I am a Front End Manage(customer serv) and we always have to say Yes to customers. So it's always been hard for me to say No in life.
HOWEVER!
I have done a great job speaking up now and I love it!
Do these telemarketer know you ?No !I usually say "Friends is on T.V and I don't have time to talk.goodbye. click hang up
When it's a person I pull out my cell and just look at them in the eye and shake my head No and past them by.
Try it little by little and let me tell you you'll start feeling better,
remember No is just a word Yes is an obligation

Answer 9

I kind of went through that, in earlier years. But then I found it was just easier to say NO right off the bat and not beat around the bush. You sound too nice, but you're not a pansy by any means.

Answer 10

Nothing wrong with buying from the person that you got a better price from, and you did not intentionally lead on the first sales person. You are just a nice person and do not want to say no and disappoint them, but I am sure they are used to hearing it in their profession. I was in sales too, but never took it personal, or too hard. There is always another potential sale with the next person!