What are your thoughts about this care taking?

Question

Ok my mom takes care of my dads step father..he had a stroke about 10 years ago and hes had colon cancer..he is peg tube fed and is on a colostomy bag my mom has been back and forth to the hospital with him for about 10 years now.she has put up with him being rebellious, she recently had stomach cancer and is now in remission my dad hurt his back at work and now is disable he got steel rods in his back. My mom constantly worries aboout my stepgrandfather she continues to lose weight as well because she goes without eating being up at the hospital ..It seems as if she puts my dads stepfather first before anyone else I guess my question is am i being mean and selfish if i tell her she needs to put my step grandfather in a nursing home and focus more on her own health and enjoying the rest of her life as a grandmother.. my wife and i just had our second kid and she's maybe seen him twice.how do i go about showing her the big picture without hurtin her feelings.. Thanks for your comments

Answer 1

You only tell her that you're worried about her health and you think she should spend a little more time making sure she is around a long time for her grandchildren.
It sounds like she is pretty selfless and maybe you could learn a lesson from her. Maybe you should check in with her and see if she needs a sandwich or a hug.

Answer 2

sounds like she feels as if it's her job to care for this man. there may be reasons you are unaware of but, i see your point. i don't know her age but, if she is loosing wt. and not taking care of herself she will soon suffer from exhaustion and then she'll be of no help to anyone. i don't think it would hurt her feelings if you told her she should slow down and consider other alternitives for his care. tell her how you are concerned for her own health as well. maybe find some info on places he can go too. good luck.

Answer 3

Your mom sounds like she likes being a martyr. Not much you can do about that.