To put it in Biblical terms, I have been "measured in the balance and found wanting." How depressing. How can you get any lower than being blown off by Jesus? I think I'll ask if Satan is free...
2007-06-20 03:39:51 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Sassinya got it right:
I'm referring to Personal Laptop Jesus
~Jack
2007-06-20 03:49:37 · update #1
Great idea Satan will do the business for you. BB
2007-06-20 03:44:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I accept as true with others.. it is the devil. he's a deceiver. additionally.. Psalm 34:19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous: however the LORD delivereth him out of all of them. So perhaps this is a tribulation. stay genuine to God and he will supply you from it. don't experience like your pastor is any further appropriate than you. he's a man or woman in simple terms such as you. in simple terms save examining the bible.. save praying.. save getting closer to God. Matthew 21:22 And all issues, in any admire ye ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. in case you keep asking and you quite have self belief he will answer you, he will. whenever you get that creeping suspicion and experience like your a nuisance to God, rebuke the devil interior the call of Jesus.
2016-11-07 00:46:18 · answer #2 · answered by piazza 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have all been 'measured in the balance and found wanting' by God. Jesus was and is the fix.
But you knew the canned answer from a fundie. I must say, even this question has me chuckling and shaking my head.
2007-06-20 03:46:24 · answer #3 · answered by super Bobo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jack, that depends on how married you are to the idea of being a spouse of Christ.
As I hear it, he's pretty promiscuous anyway. He hangs around with that Mary Magdalene character and you've heard about her, I take it/ (nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?)
But seriously, the Catholic school in which I was interred for way too much of my ill-spent youth was run by nuns. I once remember asking one of them why she had never married and she said that she was a "Bride of Christ."
Really? Hmmm…
I had asked another (my math teacher whom I had a bit of a crush on) why she didn't want to go out with me and she said that she was a "Bride of Christ." Hey! Wait a minute! Apparently the Mormons are on to something here. Apparently Christ was in the US and does condone polygamy!
What they can't teach you in Catholic school.
But seriously, I wouldn't take it too seriously. I was weighed in the balance and have a bit to spare (I'm trying to lose it, actually.) Wanna take it off my hands?
2007-06-20 04:12:09 · answer #4 · answered by Don Denver 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That's pretty sad. Although I've found that saying "I'm dating Jesus right now" (as ridiculous as I find that phrase, some people do actually use it) is a great way to ward off creepy guys at the bar.
2007-06-20 03:43:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Haha imagine that.
Hi Satan do you wanna marry me?
i bet he will jump at the thought.
2007-06-20 03:42:52 · answer #6 · answered by LOTR Fan 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I found Jesus (with someone else)
2007-06-20 03:47:14 · answer #7 · answered by jojovas4 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad I gave myself to Jesus and he never called me back.
2007-06-20 03:48:27 · answer #8 · answered by Swamp 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Laptop Jesus is in love with another dude who doesn't feel worthy of him/her.
2007-06-20 03:44:25 · answer #9 · answered by sassinya 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
So you are named JACK, and you want to marry someone named JESUS?
Hmmmm, too bad. Find another guy!
2007-06-20 03:45:02 · answer #10 · answered by batgirl2good 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋