Why are step-children a pain in the butt?

Answer 1

Maybe because their lives have been turned upside down, and they no longer have a mom and dad living together, or at all.

Just remember you didn't have to marry someone with kids

Answer 2

I think step children can be a "pain in the butt" because you never have sole decision making power over them or the sole ability to parent them. It is very difficult to parent a child in a blended family. I would never say that my step daughter IS a pain in the butt, but the SITUATION of having a step child CAN be.

For example, if we are planning an out of town trip, we have to consult not only our own personal calendars and the kids' schedules, but then also check with the other parent.

Another reason why the situation can be a pain is because of inconsistent parenting. Obviously if the 2 bio parents are not together, a large % of the time it is because they can't get along...then they are supposed to make big decisions together?! So the child often lives in 2 homes with different expectations and rules. I know that our home is very different than my stepdaughter's mom's house, and when she was younger, that was very confusing for her. Often she would do things that were acceptable at her mom's, but not our house, and it was hard because we felt like we were on her case all the time.

So, I don't think it is always the kid, but more the situation that is the pain.

Answer 3

Step-Children are a pain in the butt because they are alot like BLADE in that movie, what is it they say about BLADE, "All of a Vampires Strengths and none of their weakness" well a Step-Child get all the perks of a Bio Child and is immune to any of the Funky parts that would be fall a bio child of yours, for they always know, You are not their real Parent, they learn fast how much power that holds in the relationship, if you are lucky and have kind decent step-children, then you will have a slightly bumpy ride but if the children are cruel spirited, controlling and being influenced by the other parent, then your step-children will be a pain in the butt. I sure hope you love your partner a whole bunch of bunches, cause Pain in the Butt Step-Children can be a deal breaker...

I wish you all luck up there as you row with me from the same boat :)

Answer 4

I know my son is a pain in my husbands butt because he never had a male role model in our home. My ex gave us the boot when he was 3 months old, so it's always just been mommy in his world. Suddenly he has this man who expects him to listen and he isn't used to it. The odd time he'd see his dad, it was all fun and games, no discipline. My daughter on the other hand is 12.5 and well she's hitting puberty pretty hard and is a pain in everyones butt lol. After 5 years of only one parent it's hard for them to understand that someone else cares about them and doesn't want to see them get hurt. New house, new rules.

Answer 5

step children are not a pain in the butt! it's not their fault, that this happened! i have a two year old step son who is the most precious thing ever, and i hurt for him, because he is either with us, his mom, daycare, poor little thing doesnt know what to think about having so many people try to love him, and teach him right from wrong, and in so many different ways. it's the ex'es that are a pain in the butt!! children try to adapt the best they can, and some times they act out, but you have to over look that and just love them like they were yours!!!

Answer 6

Maybe they feel if they are nice to you then they are being disloyal to their absent mother/father.

My ex Husband had three children, they were 3, 7 & 9 when their father and I got together. I was nothing to do with the break up of the marriage, but the mother felt I was in the way of them getting back together.

The middle daughter gave me hell and to be honest I just had to ignore her.

Eventually their father ran off with another woman and the three of them (now 17, 20 and 23) still see me as their step-mother and will have nothing to do with my ex's third wife. They even refused to go to his wedding.

The child that I am now carrying by my Husband, they have said that it will be their brother or sister. So you see, having step-kids is not all bad and is actually worth the hard work.

Answer 7

It has nothing to do with them being step children or being "yours." Once upon a time I was a step child and my step dad loved me more than my biological father ever did. What's more, my step mother loved me like one of her own too! You can love a step child as much as you do your biological child. The child never asked for his/her parents to be divorced/to date/to remarry. They are going through a huge amount of turmoil, confusion, etc. every day dealing with new people that think they are a pain in the butt.

Answer 8

The relationship between a step-child and step-parent is complex. Not only do you have the usual issues going on as the child develops but your authority may not be accepted by the child as in "you're not my mom/dad". Your spouse needs to reinforce your authority and you need to make sure you are dealing with the child on a level playing field with your other children (if any). If both of the biological parents are present in the child's life, then they have a complex set of parental rules. Yours, hers, his, theirs.. etc. Make sure that all adults involved are on the same page as to what are the issues and the appropriate discipline. Most children will naturally play one parent against the other. With a step parent in the picture, they can really get things stirred up. If the other biological parent is absent, then you are being the outlet for their issues such as abandonment etc. My sisters and I were raised by step parents (our dad, her mom). We were fortunate in that both parents treated us equally with no favorable treatment no matter who the biological parent was so no matter what stage of development we were in, the emotions involved were not "you don't love me because I'm not your child". They were equally mean, bitter, abusive and drunken skunks to all three of us! So lucky... LOL Just keep adding love to everything you say and do and woo this child to you.

Answer 9

Step children aren't a pain in the butt. The step parent is. They treat the step child exactly like that, a step child, not there own flesh and blood. The child will react to that pretty quickly. Try treating the child with the love and respect they deserve, and you will see a total turn around in attitude. Trust me. My husband treats my daughter (from a previous relationship) like she is his, and she has totally accepted him as her "real dad".

Answer 10

Stepchild or not, what children aren't a pain in the butt. Take the good with the bad until they're 18.

Answer 11

Because we are!!!
Generally because this newest adult believes that they have the right to tell us what to do and how to do it.
And this adult generally has a preconceived notion about children from previous relationships and don't respect those children for who they are.

My step mother is my best friend because she recognized at some point that we had to be friends of some sort. Now they are divorced (for almost 17 years now)and I am going camping with her next week!