I worked with a wonderful 40 something woman for two years and she really touched my heart. Long story short she was diagnosed with a brain tumour three months ago and just lost her fight aged 48. Now she was such a vibrant lady, she loved going out, zooming around in her car, shoes (the higher heels the better) and always wore the latest trend. Now what am I supposed to wear to her funeral? I want to wear big heeled shoes and white to celebrate the fact that she ever lived but will her family (including an 18 year old daughter) understand or will I unintentionally offend them? Is subdued and black best? (If it's of any relevance I am 23 and the funeral is in Oxford UK)
2007-06-20 03:02:54 · 7 answers · asked by shortymcstompy 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If you know the family well enough ask if she had any wishes on dress for her funeral. If not, then follow tradition and wear the darker colours... but if you want... add sassy shoes... in her honour.
Have a bright spray of flowers sent to her family with a little note saying what you said in your question.
Her family will probably appreciate it.
2007-06-20 03:18:25 · answer #1 · answered by teritaur 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, if you do not already know that wearing bright colors is what she would have wanted, or what the family wants, I think you should be a bit more subdued. I don't think you should stand out at the funeral, as this is a time for the family. I understand that she lived life exhuberantly, but I still think it would be inappropriate for you to draw undue attention on yourself, as you may become a focal point.
If you want to celebrate her style and savvy, a possible solution would be to donate to a group that helps poor teenagers buy prom dresses, or help a group who helps the poor with nice clothes for job interviews.
2007-06-20 10:07:57 · answer #2 · answered by mommybaby295 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm I had a dear friend something like yours. She demanded that no-one wore black to her funeral - it was like a butterflies gathering - beautiful.
Unless you know that these were her wishes, and that others know too, I really think its probably better to be a little subdued - for the sake of the family. At 40 something, she may have elderly parents or aunts - and they might not see it the same way you and I do.
Difficult one - I wish you luck in your choice and hope the day goes as well as can be expected.
2007-06-20 10:08:36 · answer #3 · answered by Sal*UK 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but it's really not your place to wear that stuff for a funeral of a friend... instead, why not do black, with fabulous black pumps and one really jazzy accessory? Maybe a pin that she always complemented you on, or a scarf or shawl in a colorful pattern.
2007-06-20 11:11:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wear a white flower in your hair or a wreath of babys breath on your head and place it on the casket in honor of her life, but wear a dark subdued color, it is proper to do.
2007-06-20 10:08:28 · answer #5 · answered by SALSA 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
DONT wear all black. BE BRIGHT seems like alot of people are changing up to no longer wear all black anyways. Wear her fav color!
2007-06-20 10:36:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
subdued and black is best
2007-06-20 10:20:33 · answer #7 · answered by Library Eyes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋