how many times have you told yourself you are a failure?

Question

does it out weigh your feelings of success in your life?

Answer 1

Many times, and it does affect me. However, someone told me that I can never fail if I try, it's the best I can do.
Failure is not falling down, it's only falling if you don't get back up.
Success is what I deem it to be. If I think finishing my homework is a success, then it is for me. I now try to keep my goals on a lower level, which is more attainable, and keeps me happy. That's what really matters, if you're happy.

Answer 2

There's a big difference between saying, "I'm a failure," and saying that I failed at some specific task. I wish I understood why people slip so easily into the former. I guess it's because oversimplifying and overgeneralizing come so easily to our brain. We are wired to think in absolutes instead of something in between black and white.

I had a lot of academic success when I was young. Maybe that protected me from feeling like a complete failure. Intellectually I can look at difficulties in my career and my first marriage, whether related to my bipolar disorder or not and honestly say I did the best I could at that moment. I still feel bad, but because of looking at it that way, it's not guilt. It's not shame either, as I gave up on oneupsmanship long ago. What it is is grief. I failed at times in my marriage and my career, and it still hurts, but it's grief, not that I am worthless.

Here is something where I think psychotherapy is much better than medications. Cognitive behavioral therapy helps this. Some people manage to deny even grief, saying how failure is a good thing or it wasn't failure. I think it's healthy to feel grief. We should all feel that some as we get older and lose things, but grief is not that much of an obstacle to being happy generally. Expressing that grief as, "I am a failure," is an obstacle. Therapists help that all the time.

Answer 3

You want me to count??? Actually, I don't think I have ever, knowingly told myself that I am a failure. I've felt that way before. However, with my Higher Power I always come out of it. I can become secure in the knowledge that in the final analysis, it is not my feelings that make me a success or failure. It is how much I can care, and share with others in their life struggle. I ask HP to help me to share nothing but unconditional love and understanding, with a bit of what I have learned while living. That's usually all we really need most. In most cases I'll never know if I've helped or not. When my HP and I have made someone's life even a little better, I AM a success. So yes, my feelings of success always overcome me telling me I am a failure.
Blessed Be

Answer 4

Hi:

I tell myself that many times a day, because it is true.

Of course it has it out weighs my feelings of success. How can you be a success if you believe you are a failure? I wish I could believe differently, but when I think about it, I am only fooling myself and more importantly, others.

Be safe and be well.

Answer 5

Never.

It's not that I haven't failed or experienced a series of failures. It's that I get into survival mode and say to my self, "Oooops, I'm in deep ****. I better find a way to get out of this trouble."

Do I know things I'm not good at? Yes, but I also know what I am good at. Have I done things in the past that were mistaken or wrong? Yes, but I have forgiven myself, knowing that there were reasons why I did it.

So, did I ever tell myself I'm a success? Yes, I guess I did. But that doesn't necessarily blind me to my failures. (Of course, if I am blind to my failures, how would I ever know? And, maybe being blind to a few of one's failures is a very good thing.)

Rather than label all these life adventures we embark upon as success of failure, maybe we ought to label them chapters.

Answer 6

In my point of view a succesful person is the one who is able to make wise decisions and apply everything he or she learns to practice.
In general I am not a failure but there are some instants when I feel that I am weak and I call my self a failure. This happens when I make a decision and then discover that it wasn't a wise one.

Answer 7

Oh plenty of times. There's so many dreams that I could have made come true but through my own neglection and being scared, I let them slip through my fingers. But it doesn't weigh me down at all, because there are still so many things I am thankfull for and have achieved in my life. I am still very young but I have achieved great things that other people much older and wiser than me haven't.

Answer 8

I only feel that way now when there is some crisis in my kids lives. The kind that makes me say..."they weren't raised that way". I have to rely on their ability to draw on what I've taught them to fix things and make it all right again. Then I'm also successful.

Answer 9

My personal experience has been that the universe gives me exactly what I tell it to give me both good and bad. If I am thinking negatively, then the universe gives me negative things. But when I replaced my negative thinking with a gratitude list, Launchcast Plus radio on Yahoo, and Yahoo! Answers, then things started to get a lot better. When I started to like myself then others started to like me.

Go online and for $4.95 you can watch a movie called, "The Secret," or get the book at Wal-Mart. It made a big difference in my life. And e-mail or IM me if you see me on here and I'd be glad to talk to you, okay?

Answer 10

From someone who works as a therapist and struggles with depression and occasional suicidal ideation I can tell you that I've struggle with self-defeating thoughts quite a bit. However, they are just that. I recently came across this quote and find it helpful. Hopefully you will as well.

"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you're doomed if you don't try." ~Beverly Sills