Ok before we go any further we are NOT over protective parents. Our 18 year old daughter got engaged to a 22 year old guy and his family. Yes I mean his family, they are bleeding her dry, she is in love with him, they are in love with her money. She moved out of our home and into his trailer, with his mother , brother and sister in laws kids , not to his brother. They are living in filth and taking money from her in the "name of her new family and God"
As her parents we need to try and break this up, but we have no idea where to start. She is 18 so she controls her trust fund, she has abandoned her younger sister, her horses, and us.
She has a very nice life ahead of her and is flushing it down the toilet right now.
HERE IS MY QUESTION HOW DO I GET HIM TO DUMP HER, WITHOUT HER KNOWING WE ARE BEHIND IT
Please help with some ideas
2007-06-20 02:09:46 · 17 answers · asked by Concerned parents 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She is an adult. Let her learn certain lessons the hard way. No good will come out of you manipulating the situation, she will hate you forever.
2007-06-20 02:13:11 · answer #1 · answered by BAnne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes lessons must be learned the hard way. I suggest you read somewhere in the Gospel according to Luke - it's the Prodigal Son. Well, daughters are prodigals too.
At 18, she is legally an adult and there's precious little you can do to convince her that her fiance's deadbeat family are a pack of parasitic losers.
What you can do is work with your lawyer to rearrange her trust fund so that the money is harder to get to. This may be difficult - and costly - but it's at least worth a shot.
Perhaps once the well runs dry, the parasites will make life miserable for her - and she'll leave.
Certainly when the money runs out from the trust fund, this will happen - but perhaps just making it harder for her to get to the money now will just push the issue sooner rather than later.
But talk to a lawyer to see if anything can be done. IF only to safeguard yours and your remaining children's fortunes.
2007-06-20 02:22:41 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must be on the edge of your seat about her . I don't know if there is any thing you can do at this point she is 18 but there might be a law against her using her money in the wrong way check with a lawyer and find out . I would be afraid that if I pulled him aside and told him things about her that he might go home and hurt her and than how would you know what he had done to her . You might try to have them come over for dinner and tell her we miss you and we want to be involved in your life see how he acts with her when your around .Don't be mean to him or you could loss her for ever . At this point in her life she feels like she has someone who loves her for her but she doesn't realize is thy love her money . I wish you all the best and may God Bless you and your Family
2007-06-20 02:41:44 · answer #3 · answered by Libra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't. She is legally capable of making her own decisions. Every adult has the right to mess up their lives if they so desire.
Your actions should have taken place a long long time ago, before she became an adult. You should have (a) instilled certain values in her so that she wouldn't now be making stupid decisions; and (b) you should have formed such a close and nuturing relationship with her, that she would feel lost without you.
The proverbial horse has already gone through the gate. All you can now do is to hope for the best.
2007-06-20 02:34:57 · answer #4 · answered by LovablyMe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You trying to interfere will only make her want him that much more! She's an adult so let her learn from her own mistakes, even if it means her falling flat on her face, hard! Just make sure you are there to pick her back up and be her mother then.... That time WILL come! And in the mean time, I'm really sorry that you are having to watch her go through this!
2007-06-20 02:29:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your first mistake was the trust fund... great job. Secondly, if she had it so good at your house, why did she leave to go live in a trailer with 5 people? I think you need to plant a recorder in the trailer and while shes gone try to record how they talk about her when shes not around. That will expose that they are using her.
2007-06-20 02:14:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you guys can do. If your daughter wants to flush her life down the toilet then thats her decision. She is an adult now and has to make her own mistakes you guys can't interfere. Just do your best to discourage her because if you guys do something to break off the engagement and she finds out then i can guarantee that she'll hate you.
2007-06-20 02:18:05 · answer #7 · answered by nobody 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU CAN'T! simple fact.
i'm afraid no matter how much you love your daughter she will find out and will hate you! she loves him and if what you say is true she will find out for herself soon enough. it may be the hard way but all you can do is support your daughter.
please dont interfear you will end up lossing her to this loser and his family! if you can't help but get involved then try sitting her down and talking to her like an adult and telling her about nuptuals. reason with her but always be her FRIEND or she will rebel further trust me! what you think and know is best for SHE WONT!!!
be supportive and if you are right and things do come crashing down.... be there to help. i hope you do what is right by your daughter and her feelings. she will learn on her own dont push the issue she will just hate you for it!
2007-06-20 02:18:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK first of her take all of her money away from her if possible don't give her a penny, second- pay a girl any girl that hot, sexy all and tell her to hook up with him
now that your daughter don't have any money & a hot girl is after her bf of course he going dump your daughter for her
but be sure that they (his family) know that you don't give a dawm about her any more & your not paying her a penny
2007-06-20 02:36:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't had time to read through all the responses, so if someone mentioned this part already, please forgive me.
Accept the wedding with open arms. Plan it, big plans, you offer to pay for it. Schedule it for NEXT YEAR FALL WEDDING. That buys you over a year for these people to prove what they are. You show you are supportive, and not the bad guys.
Good luck!
2007-06-20 03:47:44 · answer #10 · answered by Stephanie J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋