Ive been with my fiancee for 5 years now and we have an adorable son. We met through friends our 10th grade year of highschool. I love him. I really do. But theres this other guy. (I havent cheated, and wont) but Ive known this other guy for 7-8 years now. He was my first kiss. And when my fiancee and I were "on a break" this other guy and I hung out and had a great time. He even asked me to move with him. Ive always loved this other guy. And then theres the matter of my fiancee constintly being mean to me. No matter what I do, Im at fault. It makes me sad everytime. But he does love me. And I kinda think that I like being with him because we have been together soo long and Im just comfortable with him. We do have a lot of good times, but when the bad times comes.. it REALLY bad.
When I dream at night, its always about the other guy and Im soo happy in those dreams.
Help me! What should I do!?
2007-06-20 02:08:37 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ooo dear.. I was in the same boat I was with my fiance for 5 years, but I didn't have a child with him so there is the difference. I was never treated right by him and felt used most of the time-- There was a guy friend that I would always talk to and he was just the greatest friend and I would talk to him constantly about everything and he never tried to interfere with my relationship-- and one day I had enough of my fiance and i gave him the ring back and ask him to leave. Then come to realize that the first month was hard to be alone and just changing the same things you did all the time since you were alone now... and I ended up being the happiest I could be! and now 2 years later Im married to the other guy and have never been treated better or been happier!!! So you just have to think about it and just think out the goods and bads and see if that is truely what you want. Also dont forget to think about the child- Sorry but if he is mean to you and makes you sad all the time I'd get out of it now before you get married that will just make things more complicated!!! Good Luck and I hope all works out for you nomatter which what you deceide.
2007-06-20 02:20:40 · answer #1 · answered by 04/12/2008 :) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may love both of them,
But.... the answer to all your questions is which one do you just love as a person and which one are you in love with.You have to work that out and then dont waste your life not being with the one your in love with.
Youll always have other offers/feelings for others when in a relationship especially when its going through a bad time.
But ...Its whether that relationship is worth it or if the grass really will be greenedr on the other side.
Dont stay with someone just because youve been with them for so long and are comfortable, because in the end you will just regret your whole life.
Dreams can show the truth about what you really want but they can also just be dreams that will be found at the end of the rainbow, so wont exist the way you think they will if even at all.
What do your instincts say, you have to let your heart over power your head or you wont ever know how to get the best out of that one precious life we are given.
One will eventually overpower the other and you must listen to that no matter what the consequences, for your sake and those involved, you will be hurt as will one of those involved but its better that way in the end than ruining and wasting their life and yours too
good luck ,life is hard, challenging yes but love wil prevail in the end.
2007-06-20 02:23:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been with this guy for 5yrs and have a son with him. Are you willing to throw away those years of being together even through the good and bad times you had? It can take awhile to really get to know someone. This other guy that you've known for 7-8yrs could give you all what you've been yerning for, but how long will it be before his true colors come out? If he was man enough, he would have understand your situation with your man now. He shouldn't be asking you to move in with him, unless you are leading him on. Which in that case you are cheating!! does you man know about this other guy you've been talking and hanging out with? I suggest telling your man about fixing your relationship because you aren't happy with the way things are going. Hopefully he'll be able to open his eyes and treat you better. Not all realationship will last, but you can try to fix them. If all else fails and you have no where else to turn then it would be best to move on. There's also this saying "You'll never know what you've missed, until it's gone"
2007-06-20 02:22:46 · answer #3 · answered by djgottaknow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. I may be young, (I'm in 12th grade), but I feel that you shouldn't live life with regrets, if you and your fiancee marry, I believe you'll be asking yourself 'WHAT IF..i went with the other guy?' I applaud you for being faithful to your fiancee, but this concerns your future happiness as a wife and mother. If you two marry and settle down, his mean-ness might escalate into something worse. So you need to sit down and have a long talk with your fiance, and be firm about not receiving such emotional abuse, for the sake of your son as well. Give your fiance a chance, I know you him a lot, and only in trying times would your mind stray to the other guy. I hope this will all work out in the end, i really do.
P.S. I do hope you'll help to answer my question as well, for I have zero experience with dating guys. LOL
2007-06-20 02:23:58 · answer #4 · answered by Iola l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, you should really think about whether you want to call off this engagement. Dreaming about someone else is a sure sign that you're not keen on the idea of marriage or staying with your fiance, not deep down. You might be terrified of what would happen if you left him, and what it might do to your son, but those aren't good enough reasons to stay with somebody, let alone marry them.
Maybe you and the other guy could be happy together, maybe he is the one for you. You will never know unless you try. And even if it doesn't work out with the other guy, I think you will be in a better position to judge what you want from your life, and for yourself in terms of a relationship. You are obviously not ready to make a commitment to your fiance, and that feeling will only grow in you and could end up causing you no end of misery later on in life.
I think you should talk to your fiance about the state of your relaitonship, explain to him how you feel about the way he treats you. Maybe even suggest another 'break', so that you can both re-evaluate your feelings and want you both want. You need to do SOMETHING, though, otherwise you will just torture yourself with 'what ifs', and that's not the kind of life you want, need or deserve.
2007-06-20 02:17:10 · answer #5 · answered by Katrina W 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This sounds like serious **** or should I say real life. Think of how miserable you are going to feel knowing that the person who you truly felt connected to will be lost in a memory forever. If the guy that you are going to marry does not make you feel like you should be with him, then don't, cancel the whole parade and tell the real one how you feel. Its better to confess now that you still have time because later when you are in the middle of your marriage and life, you are going to cause great deal of pain and tears. Don't be a fool and make mistakes that you will regret later in your life. Its sounds easier said than to be done, but its for your own good and the sake for your happiness. C'mon go and tell the real one where your heart is heading.
2016-05-20 07:19:30 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Five important tips for women in your situation.
1. It's important that a man helps out around the house, and has a good job.
2. It's important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It's important to find a man you can count on, and would never lie to you.
4. It's important that a man loves you with unbridled passion until you are completely satisfied, and spoils you with expensive gifts.
5. It's very important that these four men don't know each other.
2007-06-20 02:19:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
tough situation.
i wanna be happy so i'd go with the other guy.
i dont believe someone should be stuck with someone who makes them feel bad and sad at all.. u have one life.. LIVE IT HOW U WANT TO.
but u got a son .. now thats the problem.. would the other guy look after ur son like he would his own? how would the father of the son feel?
hmm lots of thinking for u to do!
2007-06-20 02:13:17 · answer #8 · answered by WhAT_aBt_Us? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave your fiance ... You need to decide do you want to marry this guy because you're comfortable with him and have known him for so long, but he makes you unhappy and sad or do you want to be with the other guy because he makes you feel good and you love him?
It's your choice...
2007-06-20 02:12:49 · answer #9 · answered by Rhyannonn C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are dreams, the reality is if you left this man whom you think you love then being with this other guy would not be dreamland i can guarantee you that. It's called a fantasy, learn to differenciate the two and be happy in your real life.
2007-06-20 02:14:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋