years ago i was wild and my brother and his wife i have them temp custody of my two children, one was a baby well his wife fell in love with this baby and the deal was when i got myself together that they would give me my children back the temp custody was for a year, that has since expired, well i got sober the whole time this woman was badmouthing me to the child, he called her mama, i have been clean for almost 6 years it has taken me that long to get out of the mess that i had gotten myself into .she never thought that i would stop partying, i started out getting the oldest child first, the youngest did not want to be around me he considers her his mother she has tried evertyhing to keep him away from me, i got my GED went to college and am back in school to further my education, well she was cheating on my brother hedivorced her. got a call she wanted guardianship now she is in another state a long way away, and wants me to give her custody,now she is trying to keep him what do i
2007-06-20 01:30:09 · 11 answers · asked by caringone 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I would do the child a favor and let her keep him. i am not trying to be mean, but look at it from the child's side..... you abandoned him (in his eyes) it has taken you 6 yrs to get your act together. Life just don't stop so you can get your act together! In the mean time he needed a mother..... you weren't around! Don't expect everyone to jump thru hoops just cause you are sober now! You got yourself into this mess.... it isn't their fault you "were" a screw up! The kids were lucky to have loving family to take them in. (you too) Even the best of marriages fail... it takes two.
Did you provide financial support to them all those years?
Don't screw up again by being selfish!
You should be very proud of yourself for getting treatment and staying sober. The kids will be proud of you. Stay in their lives, keep contact, let them know you loved them so much you gave them up so you could stay alive for their benefit.
Best of luck to you in your life!
2007-06-20 01:44:14 · answer #1 · answered by shihtzugirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congradulations for being clean and sober for so long. Was there anything in writing about your children being with your brother and his wife for a year? If so, legally your brother's ex wife has no right to be asking you for custody because the written agreement said for one year and that has expired. If need be find a female lawyer who will take the case and fight your brother's ex wife to make sure that you are the one who gets the custody of your children. I hope this helps and if you need more information let me know.
2007-06-20 02:04:00 · answer #2 · answered by Lori M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if you want to fight for your child you will have to get a lawyer but have you thought of this....that child has been with her for six years and considers her to be his mother. If she has been a good mother to him all this time why would you want to take him away. That will emotionally scar him for life. You are being selfish, he doesnt want to be with you, you want him to be with you because of what you want not because of whats best for him. Sounds like a story from way back in the day. Two women claimed a baby belonged to each of them. They went before the ruler of the land and declared the child was each one of theirs. To settle it he decided the child would be cut in half and each woman would get half. The one women agreed. The other woman (the real mother) disagreed and said she would rather the other woman have the baby than for it to be cut in half because that would kill it. The moral of the story is that mother's have to put there wants aside and only keep sight on the best interest of the child. Even though it isn't ideal. I think you know what the right thing to do is.
2007-06-20 01:38:40 · answer #3 · answered by GAgirl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need a lawyer, and you need one quickly. If you have not paid support or visited with this child for awhile then she CAN terminate your parental rights. For the child's sake, you need to start to build a relationship before jerking him out of a stable home. I recommend visitation, and counseling(you and his guardian need some, too) And, if the guardianship was drawn up in the state you live in, then if you file to vacate the guardianship first, it SHOULD stay there, but if she files first they may move jurisdiction to her state.
The main thing is to do the best thing for this child. But, as a mom raising two adopted children, I am convinced that a relationship with a bio mom is important. Everyday I pray my kid's mom will straighten out her life and build a relationship with my kids! And trust me, that is not an easy thing for me to say!
2007-06-20 01:52:15 · answer #4 · answered by jenn_a 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GET A GOOD LAWYER!!!! I don't have any children, although I know the struggles of getting clean. So I must say congrats to you and Good Luck trying to get your son back, and since the temporary custody ran out on this child years ago it seems to me that you might have a very good chance of getting him back, Guardianship doesn't mean everything, That only means that they can make decisions for that child! Get a lawyer!
2007-06-20 01:35:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Call the police. Your the childs mother. The temp. custody is up so legally you get your children back. She isnt even immidiate family. The child should have been left with your brother.
2007-06-20 01:39:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do what's best for the children, not yourself. Do you really think ripping a child away from the only parent they have ever known will do them any good?
I would leave them in their custody, but pursue visitation rights.
2007-06-20 01:52:34 · answer #7 · answered by onerockinmamato2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get an attorney asap! What was your brother doing in all of this? Congrats on getting back on track now get that baby back and good luck.
2007-06-20 05:40:07 · answer #8 · answered by UgetwhatUaskfor 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need a good lawyer. Parental rights are strong in this country, so you have a good chance of getting your child back.
2007-06-20 01:33:45 · answer #9 · answered by la buena bruja 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What a mess. No one here can really help you. You need an attorney to straighten this out. If you can't afford one, you may be eligible for Legal Aid. You can find this in your telephone directory.
2007-06-20 01:34:58 · answer #10 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋