The quickest way to make my girlfriend a permanent resident of my country is to marry her. Otherwise, we may not get to stay together. But we are not yet prepared for marraige, we have only been dating 6 months and are only 25 years old.
We are thinking of marrying in a registration office to enable us to be together. But we want to keep this secret as we want a proper church marraige in a few years time.
What are the implications of getting legally married now; will we still be able to get married in a church in the future? I am Catholic and she is not a member of any church (Chinese).
2007-06-20 01:11:44 · 10 answers · asked by leonardjos 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Sure, you could marry now and then have a church wedding later. Renewing vows is a wonderful thing.
Good Luck to you!
2007-06-20 12:11:10 · answer #1 · answered by madclarinetist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend was suckered by a guy after TWO YEARS of being together. She married him to keep him in the country, and a week later he left her. This was two years, not just six months. Are you sure this is what you want to do? Six months is not a lot of time.
You said you're not prepared for marriage. Well, whether you marry in a registry office or a church doesn't matter - you're still going to be married and in the end it's the exact same thing either way.
Also, once you get married, you can't get re-married. There will be nothing for you to sign and it won't remain secret for very long. You will be able to do a vow renewal but that's it. I'm not Catholic but I think that both of you have to be Catholic in order to get married in that church... my friend had to go through a whole course in order to marry his Catholic gf in the Church. But like I said, you'd already be married so it wouldn't matter either way.
Good luck. My advice is not to do this... but hopefully it works out for you. (By the way - why don't you get a job teaching English in China? You'll have a working visa and can stay there as long as you have a job teaching. It's quite easy to do and then you can be together that way.)
2007-06-20 01:38:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do I understand that you wish to have a civil marriage to secure her citizenship, but then live apart and continue dating until you are ready for marriage? It's been done, but it is actually illegal and she could be deported for it if found out.
In the meantime, you would be legally bound to her, and if the relationship didn't work out, that could produce some legal headaches for both of you as you work through a divorce.
You would have to consult a priest to know for sure, but a couple who was previously married in a civil ceremony can have their marriage blessed in the Catholic Church. If they have been living as man and wife, a large ceremony is generally frowned upon, but if you are living apart and cellibate, you could possibly have the whole she-bang...assuming, of course, that you either get dispensation to marry a non-Christian or she becomes Catholic. I'm 99.99999% sure, however, that a priest would tell you not to do the civil ceremony, even if you intend to live apart, because it is illegal.
Oh, and the wedding planner above who said "your best bet is to marry outside the church" is completely wrong. As a Catholic, that is not at ALL your best bet, and this wedding planner ought to take some time to learn about faith traditions before pretending to be an authority on them. Your best bet is to get dispensation to marry this girl, if and when you ever become ready to marry her. If you run off and marry outside the Church without dispensation, then you are seperated from the Church and cannot receive any Sacraments until your situation is rectified.
2007-06-20 02:34:33 · answer #3 · answered by sparki777 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa whoa whoa. Hold up! Getting legally married to keep your new (and she is new, 6 months is NOT a long time) girlfriend in the country is not a great idea! If you're not ready to get married (as you yourself stated) then DONT GET MARRIED. What if you marry her and she stays but then you want to break up? Divorces are long, messy and expensive! Plus keeping your legal marriage a secret will become hard when it comes time to do taxes or fill out any official forms. If she really wants to stay in the country she should go about it the right way. Marriage is not just an easy way to keep your girlfriend around, it's a serious legal commitment. Please reconsider.
Good luck and best wishes!
2007-06-20 01:48:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you get married now, you can't get married again later. However, you could have a wedding ceremony later.
Are you really sure this is the right thing to do? It's only been a few months. How can you be sure she's not using you to stay in the country. It happens all the time.
2007-06-20 01:22:04 · answer #5 · answered by Wendy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As a professional in wedding planning and consultations I really only see one problem that will lead to others.
Once she marries you and its completely legal her name will change. Her name on all papers including, but not limited to and depending which country you are in, Drivers License, Social Security, Checks, Bank Accounts, everything that is a legal document will have to have her name changed. There is a 30 day grace period for changing all these things but after that your on your own.
Yes and NO. Depending on the church and its beliefs you may not be able to. If she is not a member of a church, your best bet would be to get married outside of a church. Meaning anywhere but a church. Most officants want to see legal proof and so forth. Unless you want to let him know and you can trust him to keep quiet a church wedding may not happen.
This is something that I have only come across once before. You and her have to ask yourselves WHY you feel that your not ready to be really married but your willing to go and get married to keep here her? What is it about marriage that your not ready for? Is that a really valid reason? Is this situation really worth all this trouble? but most importantly DO YOU LOVE HER/HIM?
If you really love her/him and she/he is worth all this trouble then why wait a few years. If your relaly that willing to marry her at a court hosue to keep her here why not just get married and let everyone know. have a very small wedding. You CAN NOT help whom you fall in love with. The only people you will be hurting the most in this situation of keeping it a secert is yourselves.
I know that this may not be what you want to hear or the answer that you were hoping for ..... but its the truth.
2007-06-20 02:13:04 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
What you are suggesting it both illegal and a sin according to the Catholic Church. And the legal rights and resposibilities of marriage are not to be entered into lightly.
If you go through with such a marriage, you are a fool!
2007-06-20 03:24:35 · answer #7 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a full answer, you'll need to ask your priest. Your intentions going into marriage, are what will really count, here.
When you marry her legally, will you consider yourself fully her husband, will you be living with her, consider yourself fully committed to her? Then, why not have the Church marriage right away?
If not... your Immigration Services better not get wind of that.
2007-06-20 03:16:41 · answer #8 · answered by Crizzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a born-returned Christian guy, I oppose gay marriage for 3 motives: a million, as a results of fact God has specifically proscribed the prepare of homosexuality; 2, as a results of fact it quite is something different than one guy and one woman; 3, as a results of fact it quite is corrosive to the ethical gadget upon which our civilization relies. look what occurred to the Romans while they grew to become decadent and hedonistic. in spite of the incontrovertible fact that, as an American i'd desire to, and that i do, advise civil unions with the comparable legal rights as marriages.
2016-09-28 03:59:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called "convalidation" and yes you can have another wedding recognized by the church.
2007-06-20 03:03:09 · answer #10 · answered by bountifiles 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋