Did I do the right thing?

Question

Did I do the right thing?
Today my ex said he was leaving for vacation next week and that he wasn't going to be coming back. He told me he was going to sell his World of Warcraft account (for those WoWers out there, he has 4+ level 70 chars with whatever the top gear is...he has worked hard at it), he said that his son ((11 years old)) is getting on a plane on thursday and he (his son) would probably end up staying there. He asked me to take his cat, he said he was going to give away everything else. We are both in the military, so we have been to plenty of suicide awareness briefings, in which we are usually told certain things to look out for, in which I believe he is a classic case. The problem is, I know he knows what to say to make it look that way, and I honestly if he is trying to get me back in one last desperate attempt, if he is crying out for help, or if that is what he really plans on doing. So afterwards I went and talked to the chaplain and explained the situation to him. ((More below)).

Additional Details

5 minutes ago
So the chaplain called him. I talked to my ex afterwards and he said he didn't need to talk to the chaplain. Is there anything else I can do at this point, I did intervention, is it out of my hands. I honestly don't want him in my life, and I'm not going to let him use this as a ploy to get me back, but I don't want this to end in suicide, plus that would tramatize his son. Why are people so selfish!

Cindy: He has never been to war.

Answer 1

Your ex bf is so fortunate to have a caring friend like you. Your concern shows you are being a true friend even though you no longer want a romantic relationship with him.

Many people will have good advice, and that is terrific, but it does not hurt to know there are trained counsellors available to help as much, or as little, as you want and need.

Naturally you do not want anyone you care about to harm themselves, and letting him know you are there for him as a friend is a great start, but getting the best information on what to do next is also really useful!.

Suicide counselling services online and on the phone usually allow you to remain completely anonymous and get lots of advice and information. The following site lists many that may be useful to you:

http://www.suicideinfo.ca/csp/go.aspx?tabid=40

Very best wishes and good luck to you :-)

Answer 2

Dear Liesel,

i don't think there's anything wrong with being honest. You are not personally responsible if he chooses to take his own life- because you wouldn't want to just fall for his ploy and be with him just to keep him from killing himself. This is a time when you need to really discern the truth and not be tricked into believing that you are responsible for his life- he is responsible for his life- and he is being unreasonable if he is pushing you into a situaion where you have to feel like he can't live without you- because you've made it clear that you no longer desire to live with him.

Pray!! God can intervene and help!

Suicide is always a selfish act and ultimately if he's that unstable when he discovers that you don't truly love him anymore there are no guarantees. You can't be his reason to live- he needs to find more purpose in life beyond just a person. Pray for him and pray that he finds a reason beyond you- he still does have a son and i'm sure other wonderful things in his life to live for and pray that He finds God!!!

Kindly,

Nickster

Answer 3

The war is stupid selfish and a big fat lie.And these bad things result out of lies.A lot of soldiers have commited suicide because they can not live with killing people.Pray to Jesus,Go to Jesus .Go to Jesus Pray Pray Pray please Pray For help for your exhusband and this country and the war.

Answer 4

as far as i'm concerned, you did the right thing. i don't know if it's a suicide thing, but it definatly sounds like some sort of head game, very manipulative. if you are REALLY concerned about the guy, maybe call his mom, or grandma or something. but i wouldn't worry too much about it.

Answer 5

Nothing else you can do.

You saw the signs, and you tried to get him help. If he won't accept the help, that is on him.

I hope things work out for both of you.

doc

Answer 6

you did what you could--those classes should have taught you that men don't tend to give warnings, they just do it--he's obviously out for attention and is playing on your sympathies to get you back

Answer 7

First, define what is "right" or what "right" is.

Then, compare what you did to your definition of "right".

At that point you will know if you've done "right".