We've been together for almost 2 years, and every year he takes a trip with his family overseas for Christmas and New Years. The first year, we'd only been going out a few months, but last year I got really bent out of shape about it (especially since he didn't mention it to me until the tickets were non-refundable - not that he was going to get a refund). This year they're planning early and he's brought up a few suggestions. One of the suggestions is that I pay my way out to see him after Christmas, put myself up in a hotel that is not even in the same town as he and his family, and see him a few times since he's doing family stuff the whole time. (Obviously I'm not a fan of this idea.) Other ideas include him coming back early, or leaving later, but those are difficult to manage. Does anyone have any ideas? Maybe someone who's done this before? We are both 26 so it's not an age issue. Thanks!
2007-06-19 19:18:15 · 9 answers · asked by Murrin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Talk about it in an adult way... say him not wanting you to stay in the same town makes you feel a little left out, and you are wondering why he is hesitant for you joining in on family things. There may be a deeper reason and you just have to find it. Remember to ask how he feels about it always.. dont try to make it like your really questioning him because he will close up. Try talk about feelings.
2007-06-19 19:28:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, sorry to sound a little mean when i say this, but i thought you guys were like 17 or something when i read this. But 26 years old. Okay, let me try and help. I'm 17 years old. I've been in a relationship for 2 1/2 years, and when the holidays come around, we both do things with our family as a sign of respect that we're not trying to completely disassociate ourselves from our families. I know its hard, cuz u dont want to spend any time apart from him and you want to be there with him when the holidays or celebrations come around, but either he just wants to spend some time with his family, or you guys need to say, "hey, listen up everyone, we're together here...and Im coming with you guys." Its weird that they would offer you to go, but have you pay for yourself, and sleep somewhere that isnt even in the same hotel room. He'sa your boyfriend, c'mon, set things straight. Ask him why u cant go with them and sleep in his room, or even a room next to his or anything in that same hotel for crying outloud. And since you're paying, i think you should choose where u get to sleep anyway. But my biggest point here is that you are 26 years old, you two are responsible enough, old enough, mature enough, you guys are adults. You should make your decisions for yourselves. I mean, what is this. I hope i wasnt to harsh, but its crazy.. He needs to give u your place, or you guys are gonna have to spend every holiday seperate from each other. Good luck with everything. I hope u figure something out.
2007-06-20 02:32:15 · answer #2 · answered by Kay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His message to you is that his family is important to him, and he's not yet willing to introduce them to you. If it was just a matter of money, he might ask that you pay your own way but he would still include you in events. Frankly, after two years, a man knows if he wants to marry you or not, and this one doesn't. If you want marriage, you're wasting your time with this guy.
2007-06-20 02:23:31 · answer #3 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
considering you have been together for 2 years, why would you be staying in a hotel? Why wouldn't you be going with him if he's asking you to travel that far anyway? Personally I would be pretty offended... unless there is a good reason for you to not be there?
2007-06-20 02:25:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, well this problem is definately very minor in terms of your relationship.
Here's what I think he should do: Have him visit his family overseas earlier, spend a good week or so with them, then stay with you for Xmas and New Years... I like that idea best, don't you? ;)
2007-06-20 02:27:32 · answer #5 · answered by Thinksalot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should try to deal with his absence. he is coming back and isn't leaving forever. use his absence to spend sometime with your family, or just do some personal stuff, pamper yourself. if you plan on having a healthy relationship both of you are going to have to learn how deal with being away from each other for a little while
2007-06-20 02:25:09 · answer #6 · answered by clueless 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God.
Just leave him have his vacation.
Or if you are a commited couple go with him as his gf/partner and stay in the same room as him. It's not like any of you have to ask permission to anyone.
2007-06-20 02:23:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your whining is very unbecoming.
your jealous of his family???HA HA HA HA HA oh that's funny.
get over yourself. have you ever thought about expanding your miserable wretched little life?
my heart weeps for you, you poor codependent little thing, get a part time boyfriend, learn to live your own life, get a B.O.B. (battery operated boyfriend)
i don't care if you are a gurl, woman, female, whatever, you wont always get what you want, welcome to LIFE here on the third rock from the sun.
2007-06-20 02:41:45 · answer #8 · answered by mark j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh there's noooo place like hooome fooor the holiiidaaays...
2007-06-20 02:21:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋