Is it creepy for a 16 year old girl to be dating a 20 year old guy?

Question

I started out as friends with this guy, and then we found out we had so much in common and we loved being around each other so our relationship progressed. I'm 16 and he's 20. My friends think it's creepy. What do you think?

Answer 1

You asked this question and you are getting some wild answers.
This is coming for a mother of a 16 yr old daughter, there is nothing wrong with you dating a 20 year old.
My daughter's b/f is 19, she will turn 17 in January & he will turn 20 in February.
Don't listen to the smart elics out there in the world. if you two are happy so be it.

Answer 2

Personally I find it creepy...not in the sense that the age gap is all that large ,but that a 16 year old is at a much different place developmentally from a 20 year old. The main problem is that this gap ,although small, is during a critical growing phase and both parties are at odd ends of that stick. Typically a 16 year old is still in high school and living with his or her parents and worrying about things like fads, friends, cliques, grades, and personal family matters. A 20 year old is typically handling a job(not just for extra cash ,but to support them self) worrying about starting a steady career, and thinking about more concrete and crucial matters.
In my opinion up to a 7 year gap is usually no problem after age 22 or so because either party's issues and life cycles have leveled out and they are fundamentally the same "mental age".
My advice is to not do anything drastic or get any more "serious" until you're at least 18. At that time you should at least be out of school and won't have legalities hanging over your head. If the progression of the relationship is moving too slow and it is absolutely crucial for that next step to come along you should really step back and re-valuate your circumstances.

Answer 3

Not good. There's a big difference between 16 and 18 -BIG. You don't feel it yet because you're in the moment and hind sight is always 20/20. Truthfully he's in the worst position. You are basically jailbate. If your parents don't like the fact that you're seeing him or down the line you have problems with him and decide to get the police involved he's in hot water. Even if he's a good guy it will always look bad on his part because simply put he's older and he should know better. As mature as you maybe he's older and wiser and that's a big advantage. It's not an even playing field.

Answer 4

As friends, creepy is a bit strong, but neither of you should have taken it to the next level. But you guys need to back off, for both of your sakes.
At 20 he probably still feels like he is 16 and I am guessing you guys may work together?

Stay friends and enjoy that you have much in common, but that's all it should be.
He needs to stick to women his own age, or else he'll never mature and if you guys are still friends a few years from now, then so be it. In the meantime keep it simple.

Answer 5

I think it all depends on your maturity level. If you're still a virgin, it's probably not a good thing, because he's probably got something else on his mind.. But if both of you are on the same wavelength, and your parents aren't causing you any troubles about it, i don't see what's wrong.. HOWEVER, all these people that are turning this around into "statuatory rape" and all that is just totally silly.. Actually, it's not them being silly, but just the whole "United States" mentality.. comes hand-in-hand with the whole 21 to drink issue, it's completely wrong, and one of the reasons why the United States, in my book is really a not-so-free country. Nevertheless, being aware of the laws in your state is definitely a good idea. It's definitely not an issue if you live in a free country though.

Answer 6

I don't think that it's creepy. A four year age difference isn't that much. But he is older than you. If you are mature enough to be in a relationship with an older guy. The only problem is that it is illegal. Because you are under the age of 18. I think that you should wait until you are older to take this relationship too far. You shouldn't go too fast in this relationship. If he cares about you, he will wait.

Answer 7

No not creepy... and most countries the age for a girl to legally have sex is 16. You might want to double check that where you are. If you like each other then, there is a reason you are together... just enjoy it. If you're friends have a problem with it - then dump them and get new friends!

Answer 8

Personally, I do not think it is creepy. I dated my husband when I was 16 and he was 20. It has been 8 years now so something must have been working.
Dating someone is not illegal at all. However having sex might be illegal depending on your states laws. My state allows a four year age gap. Your state may not.

Answer 9

I did that. I went on to marry him, Then I had babies with him, because he was older and ready to have them. I never got the chances he got to live a little. I grew to resent that, he never understood why, The wonderful love we thought we had sort of went away because he would often treat me like a child because he was older. I always thought we were perfect for each other but that was a fantasy, I am older now and have discovered that I probably only did it because it was dangerous and adventurous (Forbidden love) ummm cost me my friends and the best years of my life! (high school) Think long and hard about this! If its real it will still be there ten years from now when you have had a chance at life!

Answer 10

Truthfully, I don't think that its creepy at all I mean
if the two of you have a great chemistry with each
other why not try it out. I know alot of people who
date older guys or older women. Though with the
fact that your 16 things could get a bit hectic... by
that I mean of course some people may not like
the age difference but really who cares? That's yalls
business. I say tell your friends as little as possible
about your relationship with this guy because obviously
they're not there to support you. But then again that's
friends for ya.