He has been through two thirty days with me and then falls of the wagon. I adore him and don't know what my help or approch should be. I am not sure if other problems exit in the relationship because I am so focused in keeping him sober. I don't know how to separate what is truly him and what is the drug. The lies and the manipulations seem inate but then again I keep seeing a beautiful incredible and fasinating guy inside. I am torn and confused about the intensity of this relationship. Can't seem to get comfort because I am always thinking whether he will make it through the day. Any advice?
2007-06-19 18:26:17 · 12 answers · asked by Laura 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
People who have relationships with drug addicts have their own addiction. Their addiction is to the drug addict. You need counseling just as much as he does.
You wouldn't be with him if his problems weren't filling some of your needs
Yes, drug addicts are liars. That is part of the disease.
I know this hurt, but don't spend another day with him while is he is taking drugs. Both of you need treatment and you need to tell him that you won't talk to him again until he is in a program.
Standing by his side and "supporting" him makes it easy for him to continue to use drugs. His problems become your problems and you make being a drug addict easier when you are there to pick him up off the ground.
Love him and yourself enough to say goodbye if he isn't clean!
2007-06-19 18:47:40 · answer #1 · answered by steven 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Am I reading this correctly? He has been through two 30 days with you and then relapses? Is that just with you or a program? Either way you can not make him quit his first love which is DOPE . You can not keep him clean you do not know who he really is. You are a class "A" Co-dependent People who are addicts cheat, lie, steal, go to jail, or die. You need to get away from him right now he needs to be in a long term re-hab 3 months then maybe live in sober living. He needs to Love his self first to get clean then if you are still waiting for him see what happens and you need to go to al-anon. I'm sorry to sound so harsh sweetie but this will be the only way to see if he is willing and wanting to give up dope for good and if you want to live this kind of life
2007-06-19 20:45:49 · answer #2 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sweetie you should have left yesterday....dont put it off any longer. I unfortunately know someone that is addicted as well and believe me it doesnt get any better. It is a really hard drug to get off and the day after they use, they are really mean if they cant find another hit. You really need to be proud of the person you are and know that you deserve better. You havent even been together long so its not like you have alot of your life invested in him. he isnt going to change until he gets a wake up call....as much as you probably want to be the one to change him, you will never be able to do it. do not ever stay with anyone that hits or tries to....apparently he has anger issues as well....dont ever become a man's punching bag. You deserve to be happy in every aspect of the word so get away from him as soon as possible and go out there and find you a good man....there is someone worth you waiting for ya! Good luck
2016-05-20 04:16:30 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he isn't done with it yet. Most people have to hit rock bottom and want to be done with it.You can not be an enabler to him...I have a friend who complains her husband is a drunk, yet she tells me this on her cell phone on the way to buy his 151 rum. He needs help...he has to help himself no one can stop the drug for him,but you don't have to help him either. Take a stand and get your man back. Addiction is a horrible thing. my niece I haven't seen in about 3 years is a heroin addict. She is in the hospital she shot up in her arm so much it got abscessed and she almost died. And she is 6 1/2 months pregnant. my sister in law had tried to get her to get help,called children's services they didn't do anything,called the cops they didn't do anything. She has not been to the obgyn because she knew they would see her bruises. I talked to her on the phone and she said she is going to have another boy and he is healthy. bull**** you don't shoot yourself up to the point of death with a baby growing inside of you and tell me the baby is healthy. I think you should fight the cocaine for your man and give him ultimatiams.rehab...coke or me? My drug of choice was alcohol.I made the same mistakes over and over...for years until finally I had enough of saying Im sorry and I have been sober 4 1/2 years. But sometimes people with cocaine and heroin addictions need outside help.some insurances pays for it one time. Good Luck to you!
2007-06-19 20:21:30 · answer #4 · answered by skybludeb 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
wow im so sorry, what you really need to ask yourself is if the good times of yesterday are worth you suffering today and most likely tomorrow?? i know that you love him but honestly life is way too short to struggle through and addiction with a man that you are not even married to. i think you need to leave him because you know that you deserve more, its not worth the pain!!
2007-06-19 18:41:41 · answer #5 · answered by VJS 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He needs to check out a rehab program. If he is serious about quitting he should get a referral to a rehab program from his doc.
2007-06-19 18:31:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I recommend you break up with this guy because crack addict is hard to quit their addiction, also you will not want to hang out with those people right?
2007-06-19 18:31:25 · answer #7 · answered by msjerge 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He needs rehabilitation asap..and you need to go to a therapist to help you to understand your emotions...As far as your boyfriend...maybe you can ask him if he would like to join you in your therapy as part of your treatment, and in that way he can start working in is addiction by opening up to the possibility of getting professional help... It could be less confronting and shocking for him
Good luck...
2007-06-19 18:39:28 · answer #8 · answered by Orinoco River 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
once a druggie always a druggie i have 2 in my family and i dont have the time of day for them they steal lie and treat people like crap
2007-06-19 18:35:57 · answer #9 · answered by fanta 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
YOU ARE NEVER EVER GONNA BE ABLE TO TRUST ANYTHING HES SAYS OR DOES....EVEN WHEN HES NOT LYING YOUR STILL GONNA WONDER AND ACCUSE HIM ...SO NO ITS NOT GONNA BE A FUN RIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (PERSONAL EXPERIENCE)
2007-06-21 19:00:57 · answer #10 · answered by lilrnkinn942 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋