why don't i have a boyfriend?

Question

I'm 16 years old and I've never had a boyfriend and never been kissed. my sister has had 4 boyfriends, and all of her relationships have turned out horribly so I guess part of it might be I'm scared of that happening to me. I'm a nice, friendly, person, I try to find the good in everyone and am very openminded. I'm smart, I have a 4.0. I'm in choir and I play the piano, I love music. I play tennis, and like being outside, I like to read, I like a lot of stuff and don't get what's wrong with me. why hasn't a guy ever asked me out? I can be shy when you first meet me but I'm really trying to work on that.. and trying to get better at "small talk" and all that. I don't have any friends that are guys either. any answers or advice?

Answer 1

sound like a nice kid
16 is still very young
don't be in a hurry with
the boyfriend thing
keep up the good work
in school, and try to get
over being shy

Answer 2

Ask a friend to introduce you to a some boys that share the same interests as you. Maybe your initial shyness is being mistaken for being a snob. Smiling at someone and saying hello is a great ice breaker and the small talk can be about tennis and books and the other stuff that you know a lot about. Don't be fake and don't act dumb, be proud of your brain Be patient, you will meet the right guy eventually!

Answer 3

We are in such a hurry in our teens to experience things, try new things and keep up with our peers. Everyone has their own timetable, and no one else can say whether it is too fast or slow -- it's individual. I was 16 when I had my first relationship and I felt just like you, that everyone else was doing so much more than me or having more experiences than I was. In retrospect, slower was better.

Make yourself known that you're available -- you do this with your body language more than anything else. I'm sure there are guys interested in you -- maybe you don't look interested in them. The way you look at people is the most important way in which they get interested in you.

I can't really say, but you may be overlooking guys who are fixated on you. Also, you sound like you may be "too wholesome." At sixteen, the girls who are a little more "bad" win the attention of guys of the same age. Put yourself out there more. And you can always approach a guy you like -- he doesn't necessarily have to make the first move. ...unless you're happy to wait around for an outcome which may not be to your liking.

Even after what I wrote above, just don't date anyone for superficial reasons -- chances are you'll attract nothing but those who are superficial themselves.

Answer 4

You shouldn't worry about it you have plenty of time to find someone. Go to different places and meet new people, you may be shy but, if you relax and be yourself things will work out OK. When I stopped looking for someone, that's when they showed up. Just go out and have fun and fate will bring someone your way. You said your sisters relationships turned out horribly. A lot of relationship are like that but don't let it scare you. You may not have to go through it. Having guys as friends is not always a good thing. I say that with experience. There's someone out there for everyone. Good Luck!

Answer 5

do not ever think there is something wrong with you. sometimes, the guys out there are just incompetent and blind to be missing really great, and well-rounded girls like yourself. i wouldnt worry about a relationship at sixteen, however, since you have so many years to go to find the one you want to be with/find a relationship. don't forget you have years in college to find a boyfriend as well as have a boyfriend find you! high school is an utterly small world with very little options to offer. once you go to college there will be a whole new ground to cover, academically and socially. there will be more people, and you'll probably be even more involved with the area of study you choose, and hence, meet guys who share your likes and passions. when you meet guys like this, there will be much more natural chemistry-as you already hold a lot in common, and relationships will be created.

Answer 6

At your current age many males are severely concerned with physical attractiveness which you didn't mention so it may or may not be a problem. If that is not the case then they are probably just intimidated. What you need to do is start having more guy friends, even if you're not interested in dating them. This will show other guys that are interested in you that you are a normal person and perhaps not out of their league.

Answer 7

Do you feel the need for someone to like you? Or..you like someone and you want that person to like you back?

If its the first then you're thinking of this the wrong way. As far as you described you're a rounded person and you should be making many new friends from these activities. Who knows, engage in a conversation with these friends and it may turn into something deeper :) Don't rush into anything though

Answer 8

I'd say get away from yahoo answers and out to a local summerfest or something. Chances are, there gonna be a lot more guys there than wherever you are typing that question. If you have any friends that have guy friends, try hanging out with them. Or if you have any childhood friends that are boys, try giving em a call.

Answer 9

Probally because your mindset has sort of written the possiblity of finding a boyfriend off. Find a guy in the libaray and say hi. If you wanna start if off with a smart comment just say "oh ive read that book, or oh i so wanna read that book".

Something like that to break the ice. Once you have a guyfriend it becomes easy to relate to guys because you already have experience in it. Belive in yourself

Answer 10

Try a smile and a little more eye contact.. then conversation,,, Hanging out is easier than the stresses of a date too.