About a month ago, my cousin died of a blood disease he's had for a while. No one in my family has ever died before, not even grandparents. I thought I had dealt with his death somewhat well, but I've found that all of a sudden I'm paranoid beyond belief. I'm so SO scared that someone I love is going to die. It's made me insane how scared I am. . .I want to see a psychiatrist or something, but I don't want my family to think I'm having a breakdown. They think I'm dealing with it well, and I don't want them to think I'm not. Please help.
2007-06-19 16:05:21 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The first time we experience a death it is extremely difficult and yes, scary. Unfortunately the circle of life is birth, life and death. We all go at a different time for a different reason. Be strong, and appreciate the time you were able to spend with your cousin, and for that matter all of the people you love and cherish. I find great relief in knowing that God has a plan for each of us. Maybe your cousin's plan was already served. The thing is, is that we never know what our "plan" is. Talk to someone you are close to about your feelings. Love doesn't judge, and they will know you better than me. If that doesn't work, maybe it would be best to see someone who can help you deal with this paranoya. Please try to look a life as an experience, this is an experience that is new to you. Hang in there. It will get better.
2007-06-19 16:13:14 · answer #1 · answered by Rae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is NORMAL -- and yes, just because you are starting to feel something at a different time than someone else -- does NOT make your sense of loss/grief any less -- it is just that you are going through the stages of grief at a different tempo than other family members do.
With this being the first family member you had close contact with who passed on, sure, it is going to be difficult to understand how you feel at any moment.
Now I am going to point out that you may find some help IF you talk around to your pastor/clergy/etc, to a counselor at work/school/elsewhere, or ... better yet, call the funeral home and ask them for a reference to a Grief Support Group in the Community that you may attend.
Sometimes, it just helps one to better be able to emotionally handle the grief IF you have someone else who has also gone through a similar loss -- either before or after the time of your own loss. How they are dealing with their grief, how they commemorate their loved one, how they stay balanced -- by listening you can learn ... and that can also help. PLUS, with a Grief Support Group you have the opportunity to interact with others also going through the Grief Process, and it is VERY Comforting to know that you are NOT the only one experiencing the loss in the way that you currently are.
Also -- don't forget to talk to your family members either -- for they may not show their own grief stages either -- and some may be very demonstrative in their grief. Again, this is an individual process.
2007-06-19 23:41:28 · answer #2 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, tell your family how you are feeling. There is nothing wrong with feeling the way that you do, but trying to hold it in and hide it from everyone isn't healthy. You WILL have a breakdown that way. I think counseling is a good idea. Call a grief counselor or join a grief counseling support group. You can probably ask around on your own to find one or call your local hospital. Grief counseling usually involves a counselor who leads you, and other people who have suffered a loss, towards adjusting to the horror of it all. He also helps you through the grieving process. Your anxiety will be less if you work through your feelings. Good luck! I am sorry you are having to go through this.
2007-06-19 23:32:29 · answer #3 · answered by onebigfool 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I worry about that too. I recently lost my cousin in a car accident. Now I worry that those I'm close to are going to die as well. My advise is to put one foot in front of the other. Whenever I get a little thought like that, I always say a little prayer "Dear Lord, don't ever let that happen". I don't know if the prayer is being seriously considered or not, but at least I feel better. I am so sorry for your loss, but you aren't the only one going through this. One foot in front of the other.
2007-06-19 23:46:24 · answer #4 · answered by Loup Garou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what you do the people that you love are going to die, it's a part of life. If you are having severe problems dealing with the death you should speak with your family, and possibly a psychiatrist about it. Don't be afraid to let your family know how you feel, the love you, and you should let them all know how much you love them. And when the time comes you won't have to wonder wether or not they knew.
2007-06-19 23:14:44 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Murphy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Death is a natural part of life. However, if you are at the point that you want to see a psychiatrist then I recommend that you do. Don't be scared of what your parents will think. They love you and I'm sure they would do anything they can to help you make it through this. If you don't feel comfortable confronting your parents I suggest you contact the Kids Help Phone Line at 1-800-668-6868. Please keep in mind that just because it is referred to as the "Kid's" phone line it does not mean it is directed for just kids. You can even try to find a person online to chat with to vent out your feelings and ask for help. I find that a lot of people find it easier to talk to a stranger because being judged by them does not affect them as much as it would compared to being judged by somebody closer.
2007-06-19 23:32:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Going to the psychiatrist doesn't mean you're insane. There are a lot of people going there to release the tension or the stress that they're experiencing. Do it if you think it can help you recover soon with what happend to your friend. If you can do it by yourself without telling anyone the better so that you'll feel comfortable going there and not thinking of other people would think about you if they know your are going to the psychiatrist.
2007-06-19 23:40:58 · answer #7 · answered by ☺ĦЄŖ§ĦЄ¥☺ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to talk with someone about this.Your family will not think you're having a breakdown.They want what's best for you.
It's not wrong to be scared.You just need to get your feelings out and learn how to deal with this.
Tell your family.They will understand and help you.
One day someone you love is going to die.It's a fact of life we all have to face.You need to deal with it now so you will be prepared for later.
It is very hard to have this happen and you think life will never be the same again.You have to learn to accept it and go on.
God Bless you my dear and remember that he will help you.
2007-06-19 23:35:12 · answer #8 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
death has many questions we all got to go there one day all of us ,,,,look at it this way you have a chain it links just like family and when your cousin dies the link is broken from the chain you go to the next link hook it back together you miss the orginal link but you are still conecked .....you sleep well that is what death is like the creator wakes you up ....do not be afraid least try not to .try talk to the family tell them your realy scared they will be there to suport you and you may haft to suport them also ......
2007-06-19 23:30:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound like a pretty smart person?so as you know,death is a part of life, we all will die at sometime, and losing a loved one can be a horrible horrible thing for most of us to face, but if you have faith in god, it kinda takes away the pain,makes you feel a little better,because you know some day you'll see them all again.so take-it easy and quit spazing out, have faith in god,enjoy life and stop worrying
2007-06-19 23:43:56 · answer #10 · answered by debbie d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋