last summer i didnt have the money to go visit my family in a different state. my mom offered to loan me the money, then my cousin told me he would just give me the money. usually i wouldnt accept it but at that time i took it cause i wasnt doing well financialy. a year later he brings it up (out of nowhere) and tells him that i owe him the money, even though he just gave it to me. i had just finished paying back some money that i "felt" like i owed him (no, it wasnt from another loan). when i calmly explained to him that he told me i didnt have to pay him back (the way he asked me for it was totally inappropriate/rude). after that he told me that i was a liar, i was worthless, and he didnt want to know me anymore. then he mentioned small things that he bought in the past (we take turns picking up tabs, etc..) we havent talked in about 2 weeks. then he sends me an e-mail telling me that i still owe him the money and that he wants/needs it. what would you do in this situation?
2007-06-19 15:53:24 · 9 answers · asked by portuguese_tease 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
nothing is free
2007-06-19 15:57:46 · answer #1 · answered by nate diggitty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money and family is Always a sticky situation.
It depend what you want for the outcome...
Ex. If you want to continue having a close relationship with your cousin, then I would find a way to pay him back, little by little until you are finished, maybe he really needs the money or is feeling resentful about money issues regarding picking up the tab etc.
If morally you feel it was a gift, then express it to him and tell him your sorry but DO NOT have the means to pay him back and don't feel like you should, but keep in mind you will face loosing a relationship with him.
A good rule of thumb that i have learned is NEVER borrow money from family OR friends NEVER!!! even if they say they are giving it to you..
And if you don't have the cash to pay for a meal or a trip reality is you probably shouldn't be doing it..
If you ever do accept someone picking up the tab, make sure you are prepared to pick up the tab on the next trip! And stick to that it shows appreciation.
I would say if your struggling, get a private loan to pay off debts, use a personal card, or get a second job for a while to make extra $$.
Money is a VERY personal thing and should be kept that way!
Wish you the best!
2007-06-19 23:30:57 · answer #2 · answered by Magic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would simply give him the money back if you can't afford all of it right now offer some and set up an arrangement to get it back to him. He gave you the money to get "home" on. I would not cut off all tyes with him, but certainly do not get into a monetary situation with him again. If you go out to lunch or dinner or catch a movie together, always pay your half that way there will be no doubt as to whether or not there is money owed.
2007-06-19 23:35:03 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. Murphy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can afford to pay him back somehow I would. That way he cannot continue to hold this over your head. I also would not want to have anything else to do with him. It sounds like he may be on drugs or something if he needs money so bad all of a sudden. I would stay away from him and pay him back asap.
2007-06-19 23:07:03 · answer #4 · answered by gagirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you know he "gave" you the money. but to him it could of been a loan. family is suppose to be more important than money. offer to pay him back half of it at least. maybe he is not doing so well financially right now, he helped you when you need it...
2007-06-19 23:00:33 · answer #5 · answered by MiRaNdA rOsE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just pay him back and be done with him. I wouldn't call/talk to him anymore. If a so called "friend" pulls something like this, then they were never really your friend in the first place.
2007-06-19 23:04:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him back the money and dont enter another money situation with him again. he might be having money problems and doesnt want to ask you so he'd rather tell you that you owe him so that he could get money
2007-06-19 22:59:47 · answer #7 · answered by poeticscribe1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pay him back, and never borrow or take money from family again!!
2007-06-19 23:15:59 · answer #8 · answered by jonesk_92656 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm. tough call. i think just pay him back and then write him off. no need to have to deal with this kind of person if you don't have to. pay it back w/o any talk and be done with it.
2007-06-19 22:58:52 · answer #9 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋