We have been together for 2 years, but nobody in that family has made any effort to get to know me.
They have kind of disowned him too! They never call him, even for christmas or birthdays. Last Xmas he waited up all night for a call, it never came!
His brother had a baby, nobody has told us about it at all. We found out from a family friend.
They still have contact with his ex girlfriends, they never even talk on the phone to me.
His exe's were uneducated, unemployed trash that cheated on him and hurt him constantly, but they love them. I have always been good to him.
His sister only told him she got married a month after the wedding.
I think they hate me coz he moved from Sydney to New Zealnd to be with me and left them all behind. But they don't even want to know what type of person I am.
I have done nothing wrong, what's wrong with me? why do they hate me?
I don't know what to do.
p.s. My fince has fully disowned them over all this.
2007-06-19 15:22:39 · 20 answers · asked by tim's gal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I should also note that his longest relationship before me was only 4 months long. And they still made a effort to know those girls. We have been together for 2 years, I'm not just a girlfriend, I'm his fiance.
2007-06-19 15:49:45 · update #1
I'm a firm believer in treating people the way you want to be treated. It seems you have shown them the way you would like to be treated and they've shown you the way they want to be treated. Since they've only let you guys know about things after the fact I don't think you should invite them. Send them an announcement afterwards just so they'll know about the marriage. I hope the 2 of you will be very happy in your new lives.
2007-06-20 04:00:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
When family isn't getting along. There are two things you can do regarding a wedding. Invite them all and let them sort it out. There may be alot of drama with this choice. Or invite the people who are close to you and are loving and supportive. There may also be drama with this choice but it probably won't be at your wedding ceremony and reception. You can't change other people only the way that you respond to them. Probably the most important issue is that you and your fiance make a decision together on how you will deal with this issue and then stick to it.
2007-06-19 15:37:17 · answer #2 · answered by lemonlimesherbet 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't behave the same way they do!! Of course you should invite them.They are his family and I'm sure he misses them though he may not admit it.
If you don't invite them,you will be putting yourself at the same level they are.
There is nothing wrong with you.They need to give you a chance but bad mouthing his ex girfriends doesn't help your situation much.You don't know them,so leave well enough alone.
Maybe they are just tired of him changing girlfriends and don't want to get close to you as they feel something will happen again.Since they love these other girls,they can't be all bad.
Invite them and see what happens.This may be the break you need and the chance for them to get to know you and change their feelings.I don't think they hate you.I just think they're being cautious.
Good Luck.
2007-06-19 15:37:54 · answer #3 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be the bigger person. Invite them. It doesn't matter what they think, or if they come to your wedding, you will feel peace in your heart knowing that you were a gracious person that showed not only grace but strength in being the better person. If you don't invite them, you may regret not doing it later. They may hold it against you later, if you don't as well. It's always better to take the high road and do the right thing than suffer from the consequences later.
2007-06-19 16:59:16 · answer #4 · answered by kookie9200 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would say it is completely between the two of you. It really needs to be his choice to not invite. And it comes down to your choice of.. does it feel ok in your heart to not invite them. Weddings are so personal. I would say... that weddings are suposed to be a blessed events. Bad blood in the area I feel would ruin the day. I don't want anyone at my wedding that will upset me or my fiance that day. I see nothing wrong with not inviting family who you feel exsiled from. Just remember those who you love and who love you.
2007-06-19 15:32:08 · answer #5 · answered by wonka wonka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd invite them just to show that you have more feelings for family than they do. If they don't come then I'd get over it. When you have kids and they still won"t visit then I'd have to say to hell with them. They don't know what they are missing out on. You sound like a lovely person, it's their loss not to get to know you. Congratulations and keep your spirits up. Don't let anyone bring you down to their level. You're better than they are.
2007-06-19 15:38:15 · answer #6 · answered by JR 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Send them a invitation just the same , give them the option of attending or not. Show them their son picked a woman with class. Don't give them anything to talk about. I feel for your fiance, it's hard when the family turns their back on you. Maybe you will be the one to reunite them all. Then you'll be the good daughter -in - law.
2007-06-19 16:00:17 · answer #7 · answered by TINKERBELLE 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Save yourself some heartache. Just have a nice small wedding and invite people that love and care about you. You could just send a courtesy invitation to his parents. If they refuse, then so be it. Then they could never say you did not invite them. If you feel you have done nothing to deserve this antagonism and hate, then chock it up to total ignorance on their parts and just have a lovely wedding.
2007-06-21 04:20:52 · answer #8 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think he feels disconnected from his family because he's not around to connect with them. And, why was he sitting around during the holiday waiting to receive a call from them? Why didn't he call them? It sounds like both of you expect the world to revolve around you. Well, the door swings both ways. When was the last time YOU made an effort to get to know his family? Why is it that YOU feel they have to make that effort. If my brother left the state then never called me, and then expected me to call him, I'd be pissed!
2007-06-20 04:06:37 · answer #9 · answered by Sondra 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The proper thing to do is to send them a wedding invitation, knowing that they won't come, and not getting your feelings hurt when they don't show. That's what I had to do with my father for my wedding. I knew he wouldn't show, I didn't want him to show, but he couldn't be mad that he didn't know. By doing this, you are taking the high road and not stooping to their level of rudeness. Sounds like he's better off living away from them and with you! Good luck!!!!!
PS...the High road is harder, but always wins!
2007-06-19 15:33:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋