My friend was addicted to drugs caused a lot of trouble for me. He stole from me, lied to me, caused me to lose 2 jobs, and got people mad at me by lieing about me all from his manipulative to feed his habit.
I am no longer friends with him. After 2 years he called today to apologise and said he is seeing an addiction counselor, he is clean, has a job, and got his life back together.
Because my job is so specialize, I had to move 16 hours from home to find work, be away from family and missed a few weddings and a funeral because I live so far away.
Is it wrong not to fogive him? Is it worng not to be friends with him?
2007-06-19 15:20:49 · 12 answers · asked by allanackerman07 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You don't have to be friends with him, but holding onto the anger only hurts you. Let it go. What is done is done, and you've made some hurtful mistakes too (we all have). Move on, wish him well, but no, you don't have to let him back in your life.
2007-06-19 15:24:59 · answer #1 · answered by L H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can cut the guy some slack. After all he is a human being and human beings do make mistakes. There might come a day when your actions might hurt others and you will seek forgiveness as well that is one of the reasons why it is important to forgive people. Alot of the times, we are unaware of the hurt we cause until it is too late. Although I think you should forgive your friend, whether or not you want to be his friend is all up to you. Just know that you can forgive and hold no ill feelings toward him and still make the choice to not be his friend.
2007-06-19 22:29:16 · answer #2 · answered by Ari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no right or wrong whether or not to forgive him,the choice is yours after all,but most importantly is how you feel about him,do you still blame him for what he have done?being friend back with him is gonna remind you of what he have done,and the friendship would never be the same like last time.Forgiving him is an issue,but facing him is another.
People ought to move on in some point of life,im sure he'll move on and start afresh making new friends,and there's nothing wrong with you moving on as well.
p.s:unless you can totally forgive and forget(which is not easy especially what he have done),there is no point in getting back the friendship if trust is no longer there,it'l just be a superficial friendship.
2007-06-19 23:51:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi:
I am sorry that all those things have happened to you from your former friend. I am usually a very forgiving person and I think I have only struggled a few time on being able to forgive. So when I have that sort of an issue now I simply reming myself that:
I must forgive
but
I must not FORGET
And that makes it a little easier for me to be able to forgive, but I will never forget what was done...
Be safe and be well
2007-06-20 02:04:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is wrong because you dont want to carry that baggage around with you for life. The key to succes for me was to forgive , but not put myself back in the same friendship. Tell him youre glad for him and god-speed with his life. If he tries to start up an old friendship then let him know youve moved on and thats no longer something you want now and maybe ever. Hope this is a little helpful.
2007-06-19 22:33:01 · answer #5 · answered by calico cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't know if it's wrong not to forgive or not. But I do know that to carry around anger only hurts the person that is carrying it around. You'd probably feel better by letting that go. But there is no law that says once you forgive someone that you have to invite that person back into your life, right? Who you are, or aren't friends with is a personal choice, one that shouldn't be dictated by what other people think.
2007-06-19 22:34:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can benefit from forgiving, why not? Meaning you do this for yourself, when you stop carrying the hurt in your heart you will be liberated from negativity, anger that adds stress in your life.
forgive and move on, learn to be detached. You can still choose to be friends or not, but forgiving is a separate issue
2007-06-19 22:57:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it wrong to just want some peace and space from this individual? I don't think so. We always think of repentance as a process but we forget that forgiveness is a process, too. Leave room in your heart to forgive him someday--not today. Today you are choosing to heal yourself from battle wounds inflicted by this person. When you are whole again, you might be able to walk with forgiveness. Today, just walk with healing and respect the space you need to heal.
2007-06-20 00:12:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the saying? Fool me once, shame on you -- fool me twice, shame on ME. You might forgive, but do NOT forget or trust him right from the start. Make him EARN your trust this time because he certainly screwed you over the first time.
2007-06-19 22:25:33 · answer #9 · answered by Resident Heretic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is far better for your mental health to forgive (but not forget!). Personally, I would never associate with such a person again, in case they backslide.
2007-06-20 08:06:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋