Non-Christians: What would you do if you found out someone was witnessing to your kids?

Question

My daughter starts school this year. I have nothing against her learning about Christianity but it will be on my terms and with out judgement and hell. She is four she doesn't need to hear that sort of thing. But I also don't want her to feel ostrasized. So I've been wondering, if it happens, what do I do?

Spirit woman, its people like YOU I'm afraid of. I don't follow your false god.

Well we go to a UU church so she is exposed to it all. I'm just worried. I don't want her to feel left out. We live in the South. Its like an idenity down here.

I never said Christian school....

And see imasis proves my point. How can I not want to kill someone who tells my four year old she's going to hell????

Answer 1

I've gone through this with my 3rd grader a couple of times over the years. Once with a daycare provider and once with a public school teacher. On one occasion, all it took was to point out my views and politely ask for the offending behavior to stop. On the other, I had to subtly suggest the possibility of legal action to make my point.
But there's nothing you can really do about other kids proselytizing. And I'm sure some theist parents realize that and use their children intentionally for that purpose. Best you can do is arm your kids with the capacity for critical thinking, answer their questions honestly, and hope for the best. I'm sure your girl will be fine!
GREAT question, by the way!

Answer 2

Seeing as I grew up here, I went through that myself with a couple of kids. Part of me says I would do the same thing mom did- just let it go, and let him figure it out. But a bigger part of me knows that's probably a lie. LOL
I'm sure I would arrange a meeting with our UU minister to talk about it, then I would have a seriously angry conversation with those other parents and/or the school it was said in. To me this subject is just as delicate as the birds and the bees- and if I recall correctly, you need a waver for teachers to be allowed to speak about that at all. What would happen if another child told your child about sex when you felt they weren't ready for it? That's how I see it.

Answer 3

Dont worry about it. Look, the things she will hear from other kids will be even worse than hell and judgement in christianity. But it wont ruin her. Its more dangerous to over-shelter your child than to let it see the stuff that's out there. You can't change the world, and your child needs to know what the world is about-thats her job, as a child. Look, you seem smart, so you knwo she has some good brain genes. She wont be beleiving anything stupid for long probably, just trust that.

Answer 4

First, I can appreciate your perspective. I consider myself primarily Unitarian as well, but at times feel more pagan, at times more Buddhist, and while I think Jesus was a great teacher who had so many things so right, I don't think he was any more the Son of God than we all are, nor do I think that many churches actually practice what he preached. So you know my bias going into my answer.

Just over a year ago, I moved from Ohio to the South; technically it's Florida, but we're very close to the Georgia line and it's very much Southern Baptist Rules down here. I've been witnessed to in the doctor's office, grocery store, you name it. The public schools have ministers at ceremonies to lead prayers and such... well, before I go off on a tangent, let's just say they don't believe in separation of Church and State down here.

What have we done with our kids? Exposed them to what we can. When my daughter asks why X, Y or Z, we tell her that "some people think this, some people think that, etc" and try not to prejudice her against any religion, even the same one that many people around here find reason to be prejudiced against mine. (Note: I won't say Christianity would give anyone reason to be prejudiced against another religion, but enough people around here would take it as reason to be... see above about the teachings of Christ not really being followed as closely as I think they could be.) When she asks what I think, I tell her honestly.

At this point, I'm pretty sure she believes in a very loose definition of God. (My parents have helped there too even before we moved though; my father's ordained in the United Church of Christ, although my mother is planning to become a Unitarian minister when she retires from teaching... yeah, you can imagine my childhood.) And to be sure, so long as she's comfortable in her beliefs and is willing to examine them as well as believe them, I'll be happy whatever path she chooses to walk down. A good UU church should be able to put any "witnessing" of any faith into perspective, so if you're worried about it just make sure she's getting exposure to more than one path.

Bottom line, do what you can to help your daughter discover herself. Make sure she knows why you believe what you do, and show her your path. I wouldn't try to force her down it, though, or she may well resent it. Show her your religion by example, and since you can see you living it she'll come to understand and respect it, even though she may not follow it. At this point, though, as you said she is only four; don't let religion become a major point of distress for her this early.

I do feel your pain in similar circumstances... feel free to contact me if I can be of any more help.

Answer 5

Explain to her what Christianity is(if you haven't already) and tell her that if anyone else at school talks to her about it to let you know. If she gets upset about it all you can really do is talk to her and explain what the person is doing as best you can. I hope that it doesn't come to that though.

Answer 6

I would insist they stop if the child was under 18 years of age. If it was at school and it was a teacher me and the principal would be having a little talk. If it's another child then the teacher, principal, child and childs parents would be having a little meeting.

Answer 7

people are free to talk about religion in this country. i feel it more important to put into my children the fact that not everyone is who they say they are or who they seem to be. as long as they don't molest my children or violate their constitutional rights they are free to have open discussion lest a curse fall upon them and consume them where they stand... lol, you think i'm joking?

Answer 8

For starters your choosing to send your child to a Christian school. If it is part of their routine to do this, What would the worse thing to come out of it?
What I would honestly do in your circumstance is request to be part of this as a volunteer. Or just tell them flat out, ahead of time that you don't want this for your child. Your the mother, and you have the say. Find out exactly what they do, and have them give you some history. It may not be as bad as you think!
I personally wish I could send my kids to a Catholic school but, that is not in my cards right now.
Edit: You could fill your child about Hell and what it is about before the school does. Whether you believe in it or not. Tell her what you think. Because she's your kid and your raising her, not the school. Education comes from both the school and at home!

Answer 9

I would find out who was doing it. If it was an adult, I'd ask them myself, politely, to stop. If they didn't stop, I'd either talk to the principal or find some way to remove my child from contact with them. If it was another child, I'd teach my kid to say something like "Well, we believe something different, and that's ok with us."

Answer 10

Ask them to stop.

It is so shameful to see how the christians are responding. They are insulting you and claiming that you would be a bad parent to guide your OWN child's development.

There is NO doubt that if their child was being taught Islam these same parents who are telling you to allow it would be up in arms.

Damn hypocrites.