Am I committing a horrible sin?

Question

I am a 19 year old Muslim female who has been raised in a very strict and conservative Pakistani Family. I was always expected to have an arranged marriage, but in my heart I knew I would have never been happy. This year, I met the most amazing man of my life. He loves me and I love him more than ANYTHING. One problem: He's White and Christian (although he isnt very religious at all). My parents absolutely flipped out and I basically had to choose my entire family OR him. I picked him....I followed my heart. I seriously gave up everything I had ever known for him. I asked him to convert, and he said he would (but I have a feeling its more to please my parents over anything else). We are getting married this saturday at a mosque, but he also wants a small wedding in a church like a year from now for his parents. Now my problem is, if I go through with that (which I already agreed to) am I committing Idolatry by accepting whatever the church tells me to say? Im so confused. Please help

Answer 1

You said that you met this man that you love more than anything, so mabey you should think about your "problem" logically. Why would you love someone that wasn't a good person? Isn't one of the reasons people are religious is to learn and develop values to better ourselves, so we are good? If he believed in something that was evil I don't think you would have loved him at all.

If you were raised in a very stricked religious family, I would assume that you have only experienced that one religion, and you also wouldn't know what you prefer. All religions for the most part have the same under lying foundations that are ment to teach us how to live a good, moral, and happy life. Why should anyone have to choose between happiness and religion as far as relationships go, why can't people be a little more flexiable and be able to see the simularities and if you are living a very moral and faithful life style why do you have to not be with the one you love.

This very concept of people not being able to be together over a religious difference is beyond me, but for the parents to force their own children to make such a choice seems to go against the whole concept of religion. Happiness, love, forgiveness, respect, morals, treating each other as we want to be treated, are simple concepts that are practiced be most religions, but rejecting your children for your reason seems to go against the basics.

If you are so happy and you have to be apart of an organized religion, I would suggest at least attending his church and maybe you will like it better. Try out some new things you wern't happy before maybe you didn't like your religion and needed a different approach. Most will agree all churches have good intentions and are striving for the simular goals, but I think sometimes they can go to far, and you shouldn't have to sacrafice your own happiness for religious reasons, as long as you are following good morals,healthy/respectful lifestyles and you are happy I believe are living how God wants you to live and thats all that matters.

I don't think your parents are very nice and are unexcepting of what is different, that is not what God wants and sounds almost racist to me.

Answer 2

I had a friend in a similar situation when I was at University. He was from a Hindu family and his marriage had been arranged from birth. He had no current girlfriend at the time, and was not ready to get married at all. The wedding was being planned and he hadn't even met his bride.
I don't know what is right or wrong here. And I certainly can't tell you what to do; but I can tell you what I think I would do.
If your family, tradition and religion are primary in your life, then follow family, tradition and religion. But, if you really love this man and can truly see spending your life with him, then follow your heart. Just know that you might have to leave all you've known so far. Obviously from what you've said, you can stay in the Muslum faith. However, I wouldn't advise your fiance' to convert; certainly not to please your family or you. If he truly is called to convert, then he'll do it for him and no one else. As for committing Idolatry by also having a Christian wedding, I suppose I don't know enough about your faith to answer that. In your religion, what constitues Idolatry? Are you planning to also be married in a Catholic Church? If you are married by a non-denominational Minister, how can that be Idolatry? Wouldn't simply being married in ANY Christian Church, or by ANY Christian Clergy be against your religion?
How do you reconcile that? Further, if your fiance' is as you say "not very religious at all" why is marriage in a Church important to him? Is it to please his family or is it a case of "Tit for Tat"? In other words, because you are getting married in your faith, he'll get married in his?
Finally, if your wedding is Saturday, why are you just asking these questions on Tuesday?? I do wish you the best of luck. Marriage is hard work, and with the differences in religion, culture and possible estrangement from your family will make it all that more difficult. I don't think it is a decision to be made in a few days. I really do wish you the best of luck.

Answer 3

Well it sounds like you are an adult....heck you are mature enough to come to the conclusion that you are in love and that you want to marry this man. Some people that are free spirited take a life time to notice real love.Culturally you are supposed to agree with the religion of the man.....but I also am an understanding christian so when love interrupts what people have already planned for. Then that is okay as long as you feel as though that this is genuine and life-lasting then go with your heart if your family feels that strongly then leave that in the past and cleave unto your new family. Forgiving them for there non-acceptance but if they have unconditional love then they will come around!

Answer 4

First of all idolatry is putting anything first before god,God states in his word do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers,and being a christian means having a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ,why would he give that up,my opion is he is not established in anything and is just telling you what he wants you to hear,and first I would pray and ask the Lord is this the mate for you and do not be ruled by your emotions,also a marriage covenant is a marriage covenant to the Lord regardless he honors all marriage vows except the same sex marriages which is an abomination in his sight,no matter what religion you are getting married is not idolatry Both of you need a relationship with God first not second,if you marry this man without asking god first you could be putting yourself in a line of problems,if god says yes and you marry this man the Lord will make the rest of your family fall in line,I know about arranged marriages my grandparents had one they were married for 50 years.Love conquers all Love is self sacrificing,is actions behind the words,not saying one thing and doing another,its kind ,patient not easily angered,Love is Love no matter what you think say or do,the church is not going to ask you anything more than do you take this man to be your husband in sickness or in health for better or worse,to honor him,and cherish him there is nothing idolatrous about that,just make sure God wants you there. Be Blessed Lisa

Answer 5

I'm a neo-pagan (just so you know where I'm coming from) and if you are in love with someone that you chose over your parents objections and training, then you can basically throw any religious training and doctrines out the window. You're 19, so you are an adult and have all the rights and responsibilities of an adult and that means choosing your mate and your beliefs. You already said you believe in yourself and your fiance. Religion should be used as a guide not as hard rules, anyways. Most of them are very hypocritical, too. So follow your heart, you seem like a very nice girl. Good luck. Hope I said something useful. Peace

Answer 6

I am a Christian minister who performs weddings.
But I know very little about Islamic rules & traditions.
If he sincerely converted to Islam he would be bound by it.
He could not then come to a Christian church for marriage.
He has to decide which religion he is going to be.

If he remained a Christian & came to get married with you,
we would consider it a mixed marriage, or disparity of cult.
You would not be expected to make any statements,
with which you are uncomfortable, in terms of your belief.
But we would ask that the children be raised Christian.

You see there are rules & traditions on both sides.
But I fail to understand how it would be a sin of idolatry.
Our definition of sin, is doing something you know is wrong;
when you had the freedom to choose otherwise.

Answer 7

OK, I did a bit of research for you. The Quran forbids a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man. So in order for your marriage to be legitimate, according to your faith, he must have converted before you get married. Assuming he has already converted, there is nothing wrong with what you're doing this Saturday.

However, if you both are still Muslim a year from now, you may not be able to have the wedding in a church. In order for that to happen at least one of you must be Christian.

Now let's say one of you converted to Christianity just to have this wedding. The church will not force you to say anything against your faith. The Quran allows interfaith marriages to 'people of the book' so once again, there would be no sin committed for either religion.

Personally, I think it would be insensible for the two of you to convert back and forth just for the sake of appeasing his parents. He committed himself to you. He chose to be Muslim. His parents are just going to have to deal with it. So if I were you, I would ask him to scrap the church wedding. Think about it, if his parents are this domineering now, what would happen if you had children?

Answer 8

One have to follow our conscience and heart.
You keep faithful to your religion an also can he. God take into account the intention of our hearts. God must be pleased you can love ., no matter color or religion.
Your God is the same, no matter the building or church o mosque. All of them leads to the same God with different names.
God is Love , and you are living in Him .
You are going to please him as an act of love going to his church. That does not change your own beliefs. That no one can change .
One of the basis of marriage is respect. Hope you both can respect the other religion and allow their practice.
You should talk also about the children education.
Nothing to do with idolatry. It s another matter.
Wish you the best an be happy

Answer 9

If he agreed to convert to please your parents, he's not a real Christian. He's just playing Christian to please his parents.

You are not comitting idolatry.

Remember that Christians teach that men and women are equal value and equal worth.

Why not visit a real Bible believing church and find out the truth about what real Christianity is.

From what you've said your husband to be is not a real Christian and might not even realize that he's not.

Pastor Art

PS: Apparently Miss Blue and I agree that your boyfriend is not a real Christian. And she has a valid point about you not being a true Muslim. Many Muslim parents would kill their daughter for suggesting to marry a non Muslim.

Answer 10

Well #1 it's states in the bible when you get married u leave your parents and cleave to your spouse, I feel religion is a big part of our lives but as long as u believe in God, ur fine, Idolatry is putting something before God, Like on a pedestal and worshipping that, If ur not doing that ur o.k.