I have absolutely nothing to look forward to?

Question

I live with my parents. Who I hate. I can't afford to move out right now because I don't make enough money in my crappy department store job. I was getting happy and looking forward to moving into an apartment this fall, but then my mom said I can just drive to the college I'm going to during the fall semester. So then that sucked but I thought to myself "oh well, at least I'll be out by winter and in my own apartment". Now my mom plans on forcing me to move in with my sister's best friend who has a 3 year old. Not only do I not like kids, but how am I going to get any of my school work done with a 3 year old in my apartment? The reason I was responsible and didn't have any accidental children is so I wouldn't be in a situation like that. And according to the federal government, my parents make too much money for me to be eligible for enough loan money to pay for the apartment on my own.The program I'm in school for is a hard one that only 16 people get into.

... So I can't afford to flunk out. In addition, the reason I hate having to live with my parents right now is because of this: my mom is extremely annoying. Every five minutes, when I am trying to get away from her, she will come find me and start asking me a bunch of questions and nagging me. And it never stops, she just keeps thinking of things and coming back to nag some more every 20 minutes or so around the clock. My dad is abusive and a load mouth. Need I say more? He is inconsiderate and is extremely loud and obnoxious and talks load and plays guitar crappily and incessantly while I am trying to study. If I say something he just says "**** you, this is my house".

My mom also reads all my mail, found my diary and read it when I was stupid enough to keep one, and she gets into all my stuff. All of it. I mean there is nothing in my room that she hasn't gotten into. She cleans the house up and down all the time so I can't hide anything... she always finds it.

And also, I have social phobia and anxiety, so going to my job everyday is hell... And I don't have any friends because of the social phobia so I really have no way to "get away from it all" I can't take any vacation away from my parents and my crappy life because I don't have any money and even if I did I don't have any friends to go anywhere with. It seems like everyone is in a better situation than me and I can't take this anymore. Most of the time I wish I was dead or woke up and was somebody else. I don't understand why I have to have severe social phobia and how I got stuck with the most controlling parents in the world. Even when I get my degree, if I can even make it through school with severe anxiety and living with a 3 year old, Most of the CLT jobs require you to draw blood... and that is something that I am not willing to do everyday. I can't be around people hardly at all. My anxiety is just to severe. I could never be happy that way.

And it seems like most jobs in the world today, aside from the super hard scientist and research jobs that I don't have the finances to get through the schooling or the academic aptitude for, are people oriented. I want to just give up, but giving up won't get me anywhere either so I'm just paralyzed. I don't know if things will ever get better for me and everything I foresee within the next three years is hell.

Also for what I'm going for the median annual earnings is only 30,000 a year so its not like I'll have unlimited amounts of money. But its really the only job I could find that the schooling wasn't over my head and it was still minimal contact with people.

How I'm coping now: avoiding my parents as much as possible, and dosing myself with citalopram and kava root. I know its not healthy but I don't really care about myself. I'm smothering here locked in chains.

My parents pulled this same crap with my sister, and the way she finally got away from it was to meet a guy and move in with his mom, which since I have bad social phobia probably won't happen for me anytime soon.

Answer 1

When I was in college I worked at dominos pizza delivering. I made great money and they were flexible in my schedule. It would be a great summer job even if you only do it part time. Plus you could get out of the house more, Your possible roomate with a child could be a blessing...try it and see how it goes.

Answer 2

Try to make the best of living with your parents. Living alone is a lot tougher. I wouldn't know, since I'm only 13, but I've seen people go through it. Enjoy your job!! But also, figure out, what exactly is wrong with it? Boring? Just not your thing? Go find something you actually like doing. That way it doesn't really count as work, but you still get paid! Make things happen for yourself. Keep good physical care of yourself so that you're in shape, fresh and at your best at all times but don't feel any pressure. You don't need to be perfect! Everybody hits stumps like this every once in a while in their lives. Good luck!

Answer 3

You probably should get counseling. There are cheap and free ones. Or see if your insurance will pay for one if you tell your general practitioner what you just told everyone on Yahoo Answers, and they give you a referral. Seriously. I don’t want to belittle your pain but if you really can’t or won’t change your circumstances, then you need to find a way to cope with the life you have. I would just say, “Try looking at the good points of your life instead of dwelling on the bad,” but I think you need help to see the bright side. That’s where the counselor comes in.

Answer 4

Well, if you're in such a competitive program that only 16 people got into, then you'll probably be able to get a really good job once you're done, so I don't see what you're so worried about. As for now, I think you should go ahead and move in with your sister's friend (you can just stay at school and study in the library if you need to). If you don't want to do that, then you can get unsubsidized education loans from banks (ask at the school's financial aid office) if you aren't eligible for the federal ones.

Answer 5

I know that there must be something that you can do, so please don't let this mess with your mind. I have lived in conditions that were barbaric, I've coped and when it was over I moved on with my life. I don't get a-lot of money but almost every month I put money into things. Sometimes when I ask people for a cigarette people say "Get a job." and I think "If only they knew." but I know that people like that don't have the attention span to understand.

Answer 6

I AM NOT TOTALLY SURE ABOUT THIS, BUT CHECK INTO DECLARING YOURSELF AN EMANCIPATED MINOR, AND THEN YOU COULD LIVE IN THE DORM, AND GET FINANCIAL AID FROM THE GOVERNMENT. I AM SURE THAT SOMEWHERE ON THE NET SHOULD TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THAT. I DON'T THINK THAT IT WOULD BE ALL THAT BAD LIVING WITH MOM AND DAD THOUGH. I KNOW THAT YOU THINK THAT NOW, BUT SOON ENOUGH YOU WILL BE ON YOUR OWN, AND THEN IT WILL BE TOO MUCH REAL LIFE TOO SOON FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. I WISH I HAD MY MOM AND DAD AROUND TO EVEN VISIT. THAT WOULD BE WONDERFUL. AS IT IS, I VISIT THEM AT THE CEMETERY ON SPECIAL OCCASIONS. AS FOR HAVING TO LIVE WITH A BABY, WON'T YOU HAVE YOUR OWN ROOM? IF IT HAS A DOOR, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO GO IN AND LOCK OUT THE THREE YEAR OLD. THEY ARE STILL YOUNG ENOUGH TO BE TOLD TO LEAVE THE ROOM PLEASE IN A NICE WAY. THEY CAN BE A BIT LOUD, BUT WITH THE MOTHER'S HELP, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO WORK AROUND HER.

Answer 7

First off, I'm sorry that u aren't able to move out of ur parent's house, but you have A TON to look forward to, and right now, what ur doing is paying ur dues with ur parents b4 u get to go and live ur own life without them bothering u. And, after u get out of college, u'll have a lot of options and u can probably get a much better job and move out. I hope things work out for u.

Answer 8

stay strong one of these days you will break those obstacles down that are stuck in your way. Stay at home for free save all of your money from work and maybe in about 2 years you should be able to move out on your own. Just think about all the money you will be saving by not living on campus.

Answer 9

there is always something to look forward....u r jsut thinking everything to negatively.....if i were u i will just first study for all my degrees...and if u wanna live in a ampartment try sharing it with someone else.......u should be happy and enjoy ur life because not everyone gets to goto college.......even if im not in college u shouldnt complain....u shouldnt say it is too hard if u havent tried it yet....then if u still dont make enough money try to work somewhere else with more money.....so good luck

Answer 10

if you really want the job at the end of this schooling ,you will have to stick it out=====THINK====is this important enough to put up with some negative things for awhile,as if you quit now ,it will only be a 9 to 5 job at minimum wage=what is more important to you=good luck