What should I do?

Question

My life right now is really messed up. I'm 14 and have a pretty boring life. Nobody knows me at school. My dad caught me with marijuana and my mom thinks I'm a psycho. I feel very depressed and quit marijuana but I can tell that my dad still thinks I smoke. My friends constantly betray me and I feel sad about the way things are going for me. Everyone that I used to know is so much farther in life than I am. I'm thinking of running away to a youth hostel or something else. Please don't say talk to a counselor, I've been there and moved on. I need some real life solutions, talking isn't going to solve my problems.

Answer 1

It's probably going to take some time to regain your parents' trust. Admit that you've made mistakes. Talk about why they were mistakes, and how you will handle temptations like that in the future. Focus on taking part in your family life - pick up a few chores to show that you're ready for responsibility.

As for friends, maybe you need to choose friends who are focused on positive things. People who are untrustworthy aren't good to hang around with. Find friends who are making something of their lives, and watch how they go about it, then do the same things yourself. You're at an age when you can choose your course - you're not stuck in a rut yet. So if you don't like where you are, figure out what needs to be different and learn how to change it.

Answer 2

You learned a valuable lesson when you got caught smoking and that is - it is easy to lose someones trust and very hard to get it back. Running away won't help. You can't run away from your problems-you have to face them or they will find you eventually. If you don't like the idea of counseling perhaps you could join a support group. It is a group of your peers who are having the same problems you are having, all talking about them together. You would be surprised how much talking can help your situation. Sometimes when we verbalize our problems the solutions come to us quicker. Talking isn't a quick fix, but there are no quick fixes for life's issues. You just have to go through it and it is better to go through it with other people who understand. Talk to your counselor about support groups in your area. Good luck and just remember everyone has a hard time growing up. It will get better.

Answer 3

You're right!! Talking doesn't solve problems. Not completely anyway. Its a start, and it does help. But when you have problems and you need help, its all about what coping mechanisms you have in place. If you don't have the appropriate coping skills, then a counselor should be teaching you. You obviously didn't find the right counselor.
From your question, it sounds like you suffer from a classic case of lonliness. When your lonely you start to question your worth as a person, and eventually you end up with a low self-esteem. You need to start changing your own behavior, then everything else will fall into place.
Concentrate on the things that you are good at (your q. shows that you are articulate and smart) and don't fall into the trap of doing things out of peer pressure just to fit in and have friends. Put yourself in places where the people share the same interests (ie: if your into baseball, go to a game or if you have a hobby, find a place or club where people share the same hobby).
You obviously feel that you can't talk to your parents, but you should maybe try to sit down with one of them, and explain to them how your feeling. Kids think that parents should automatically know how they are feeling, but its hard to be a good parent and do the right thing when your kids don't talk to you. My daughter felt similar to how you are feeling. She finally came and talked to me about what she was feeling, and we were able to work on things together from that point on. She also bought herself "Life Strategies for Teens" by Jay McGraw. She says it helped her a lot.
Good Luck :)

Answer 4

I live a pretty boring life too, but I'm not down in the dumps. You shouldn't be smoking marijuana ever, but tell your dad that you have stopped and you won't be smoking again. If your friends betray you, they are not your friends. If no one knows you at school, make yourself known. Try talking to other people and making new friends. Join some clubs or extracurricular activities. You will meet new friends and have a lot of fun.

Answer 5

Stand in front of a mirror, and ask yourself how you got into this situation, and what you need to do to get out of it. You lost your parent's trust. And trust is something that takes awhile to rebuild. Before you do anything, ask yourself if it is the right thing to do. Always choose to do what is right, no matter how hard that might be. And doing the right thing is sometimes the hardest thing you can do. But you will find out that it is always the best thing to do. Friends will come along. Sometimes, you have to take a risk and put yourself out there enough to find a friend. Choose them well. Just remember that family is the most important thing that you will ever have. Friends are the second most important.

Answer 6

Here it is then.You may not have the greatest life but look around and you will see others who have it MUCH worse than you ever dreamed of son.I grew up manic depressive because it was a learned behavior from my mother. I was 27 before the LORD gave me self esteem and delivered me from depression.The depression robbed me of a lot of things as well as anger robbing me. You need to realize you will be an adult in 4 more years.I know that seems like forever but it isn't.When you hit 19,you'll realize that will be your LAST yr. as a teenager.Focus on getting an education so you can get a good paying job and not have to work like a dog for chump change.Try "acting" positive and try not to complain.Try to compliment and encourage others, try to be more outgoing.You will see a difference in how people treat you.When I was depressed I was too focused on myself.If you will let HIM, GOD does love you and has a plan for YOUR life. You must seek HIM with all your heart though and be willing to do things HIS way.If you have a Bible read acts 2;38 and visit a United Pentecostal Church sometime.You will find REAL friends there and people who care about you.

Answer 7

im 15.
and i know exactily how you feel.
if you want to we can talk.
[im not like a freak or anything] lol.
its always good to have someone to talk to.
[e-mail]