dog's relationship with my husband?

Question

ok not sure in which category this belongs as it involes relationships and dogs.
i'll just give it a shot.
my husband thinks he is the alpha dog and i do not agree with that.
my 2 rescued dogs are very fearful of him, one of them won't even come to him and runs away from him. they do not listen to him, don't follow him around the house, don't want to sleep next to him. they do all this with me. but he thinks he is alpha dog because they cower walk towards him. they don't play with him either.
i feed them, walk them 3 times a day where as he only does it once a day and i take them to the stables where i ride with me everyday and let them have a run around.
now i have had dogs all my life. these are his first!
do you think he is alpha dog? i don't think he is but how do i tell him without hurting his feelings. he very touchy about this subject.. very proud man! help! ;o)
thanks for good answers!

oh and i forgot to mention that he will not to fun things with my dogs. he gives them treats once in a while but he doesn't play or walk them much at all.
he also just wants to cuddle them like a baby. which puts the dog in a submissive position which i don't think is good but when i tell him that i am bossing him around and act like i know it all!!

i have a male maltese and a female silky.
my silky seems to be alot more scared of him as she never comes to him and runs off.

Answer 1

How very sad that your dogs cower and are so of afraid of your husband.

I hate to tell you this, but your husband has a definite problem. Because the dogs act this way toward him DOES NOT make your husband the Alpha Dog. I'm afraid that I can't type what it does make your husband :-) I only hope that if you ever children together, he doesn't treat them the same way as he treats the dogs. I'm afraid that I can't think of anyway to tell him nicely though :-( If he were the Alpha Dog, the dogs would anything in the world to please him instead of running away from him.

I'm just glad that your doggies have you turn to and give them love.

EDIT TO ADD:

I I don't usually comment on someone else's answers, but EXCELLENT RESPONSE dragon_wolf :-)

Answer 2

Since these are rescued dogs--I would say that his previous owners which one must have been a man beat him. This happens in many cases where the men have beaten the dogs. He is not the alpha dog.....they are scared of him. He needs to do something that proves to them that he will not beat them or hurt them in any way. He needs to have a little alone time with them. He should understand this!!! GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 3

a follower wants to please, and be near the power(you). honestly i think they fear him fear and respect are not the same i went through this with my husband as his family thinks beating with hot wheel tracks is training. (he is not like this with our kids) but with the dogs the hot wheel track was brought up and i told him if the the track even touched one of my dogs there would be problems. it was how he was taught to deal with the dogs. but i think over the years i have made him see that its wrong..as our dogs are well behaved and his families dogs have mental problems....
a good leader is not to be feared but respected. and listen to. the lesser do not cower at the leaders feet and from the sounds of it hes asking for a "fear bite' they are not nice bites(none really are)but they come with out warning and mostly hard and fast. and craddleing like a baby is a good way to get his nose taken off....and i'm sure it would be the dogs fault...not his right?

if they run then it is fear..and he is alpha just not a good one. one that is asking for a bite..as being over aggressive leader is unstable.

how do u tell him? well i'm not sure, i didn't care about feeling when i told mine how training was to be done. it was matter o fact. and he listened as i have worked with dogs my whole life. i'd say let him watch dog whisper...but he might be the tpye to take it to far and not see body lanquage like u do....sioooo good luck

Answer 4

It sounds to me like your dogs are afraid of him for a reason. Has he hurt them? Why do they cower to him? Dogs have great instinct. If your husband is being a jerk to them, will he start treating you that way next? Why is he so intent on proving he is the alpha dog? Your husband is a bit insecure if you ask me.

Answer 5

Nope. You are the alpha dog. Just because they are afraid of him doesn't mean they regard him as their pack leader. But why does it matter? Let your husband think he's the alpha dog.

Answer 6

From what you described I would not consider your husband to be the alpha dog. Your dogs are scared of him, they are not being submissive to him. There is a big difference.

Answer 7

Unfortunately your husband is correct, he is the alpha dog. My dog loves me, follows me everywhere, I feed him only, I take him outside only, I do everything as my husband is an over the road trucker and not home much. But he still goes to my husband and sits by him - but it he had to choose he comes to me. But it is a male thing, if the dog is male and you have a male in your house, yes it is the alpha dog thing. Wild dogs use to run in packs and to this day male dogs associate with men even though we take care of them.

Answer 8

If your 2 dogs are males then that is how a lot of dogs behave in the wild around the alpha male. Watch how they behave around him. If they are submissive or bare their stomach allot this is how they say you are the alpha male.

Answer 9

try having your husband do more of the fun things. taking them for walks, feeding them, giving them treats so they aren't so afraid...

Answer 10

Fear does not equal respect.

I highly suggest you don't have kids with this man.