Can I fix things between us now?

Question

How can I get him to fall in love again?
My guy of 4 yrs. has been telling me that he cares about me but no longer is in love with me. In normal circumstances, this would be the time when I would let him watch my pretty *** head out the door. The issue I have is we have a nine month old daughter and I am five months pregnant with our second and totally scared. I just finished college and with the pregnancy havent got into my career yet, so we are quite dependent upon him, well he is self employed and I have been doing his secretarial and accounting work as my share. This wouldnt continue if we broke up so I would be moving in with my parents for the time being. The thought of leaving our home, and cramming with my mom makes me feel really bad. The problems in our relationship center around my lack of trust in him for cheating on me when I was pregnant with our first. While he thinks I should have let it go by now, being just over a year since, I have trouble not asking him questions

In doing this, I have caused him to distance from me. He hates not being trusted. He says otherwise I am a good woman and he would be happy. My insecurities are now making him unhappy. How do I get past this first of all? and how do I get this man to see that we could work as a family if only he would try a little harder? I really dont want to loose my home, our life together, and our family. Is there any hope after he has said he has fallen out of love? I really need some help with this. First and foremost I love him alot, and I am scarred of being 22, a single mom of two. Please, any advice would be appreciated.

Answer 1

first you need to realize that he is taking the things he has done and making you feel bad about them. it's only been a year since he cheated on you - you have every right to not trust him completely! the fact that you didn't leave him should be enough for him ...
it's completely ok to be scared ... but you can do better then this guy! if your parents are there for you, GO FOR IT! You can't make him fall back in love with you, no matter what you try. You just have to be strong. and you can collect child support!!

Answer 2

well, being insecure about this after 4 or 5 years is a little bit much. i'm sure he's probably tired of hearing it. as for you, i think the problem is that you've just fallen into a habbit of being insecure and getting on his case everytime he's not with you. so, you need to start by controlling yourself and just sucking it up the next time you want to get on his case about cheating. it may be hard on you at first, but eventually you'll stop tripping of him so much. on the other hand, he may be saying this to you because he's seeing someone else and wants to have some extra space. so, either way i would not say anything to him and just watch him with a careful eye. you've seen his paterns and what he does when he's cheating, so just look out for those signs. as far as falling in love and what not, it's really not something you can force someone to do...your best bet is to just lay off him for a while. good luck

Answer 3

Hi, Sweetie,

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I think you should let him go. Get an order for him to pay child support, which will help you with the expenses for your kids. But you don't need a man who cheats, and if you let him go, you free yourself up to find a man who will want to stick around.

Meanwhile, I think you should just decide to spend a bit of time (even just a few months) alone, without a man. Learn to enjoy your own company, and learn how to take care of yourself. Then you won't feel so desperate about needing a man to look after you. If you're independent and confident, you'll have your choice of men, and even if you don't, you'll be happy, because you won't need someone else to make you happy.

Good luck with your new life! See it as an opportunity to move on to something better. Maybe one day he'll wish he had you back, and you won't want HIM!

Answer 4

Some guys like to play games, be teased, etc.. But I would wait until you got more familiar with him and how he reacts to things before I started doing that. If you smash his ego from the very start he is either going to bail out quick, or he's a mammas boy and likes being treated that way, and you scored a home run! Good Luck!

Answer 5

Hi hun ,My x told me he didn't love me anymore either and yes he cheated on me and I did forgive him because I was scared as you are ...........I'm sorry to say that the man may be putting alll this "blame" on you ...........you have every right to question what he does!!! But there is hope you are younggggggg .........and you have to think of you and your children .I don't mean to upset you at alllllllll and I hope I am wrong .............but I have been there : ( Good luck sweetie hugzzzzzzzzzz

Answer 6

I think he fell out of love long before he admitted to it...I don't think even if you convinced him into staying or accepting you, he will continue to be faithfull to you...he isn't going to be able to commit to you....so you and the kids just may be better off without him...financially he is still going to have to support you and both kids.

Answer 7

I personally agree with him no offense. You really should think about forgiving him. If you know that he is really sorry and promises to do that ever again. My advice is to put your insecurities behind you if you know that he loves you. I know that he loves you and you love him.SO TRUST HIM!!

Answer 8

I find what helps me is when I pray to God to heal or help me and my family through any difficult situation.
That's all.