HELP - 7yr old daughter is driving me CRAZY!!!?

Question

My 7 year old daughter is driving me crazy - its like talking to a brick wall!!!
Nearly everyday she tries to hide things in her school bag or pocket from me - toys, chocolate, clothes. Or tries to hide things she's wearing that she's not allowed to wear to school.
Wheather it be the wrong socks or wrong sports shirt under her jumper.
I catch her out 99% of the time. Yet she keeps doing it.
I tell her while she is getting ready to take off the sox or whatever it is yet she disobeys and wears it anyway, tries to hide it, only to get in trouble later!
School has a set uniform to wear, so its not like all the other kids are wearing mufti clothes and i'm not letting her.
To add to the daily ritual she also just does not listen to me(obviously). I could tell her to do something 14times before she actually does it. I really am a broken record! I think i tell her to brush her teeth 100times a day-before she actaully does it.
Let me remind you - this is EVERYDAY!!!! & im going crazy!

Answer 1

Keep only her school clothes in her room. Put her "weekend clothes" in your room where she can not get to them. On the weekends she can pick what she wears out of your closet or something, but during the week she will only have access to her school clothes. About talking to a brick wall, sit down and talk to her. Tell her that sometimes children have problems where they can not understand what their parents are saying. Let her know that if she is having this problem you will have to take her to the doctor and the doctor will have to find out what is wrong with her. This will either scare her or it will not phase her at all. If it scares her you know its an act, if she doesn't react, there may be something going on (meaning you should take her to be evaluated by a professional). Many times kids that age are being testy, but if you tell her this, she might get scared and straighten up becuase she won't want to go to the doctors to get help if nothing is wrong with her. An incentive chart would work well also. Make a chart of her daily routine. (getting dressed, brushing teeth, eating breakfast, getting backpack together, unpacking backpack, doing homework, dinner, bath/shower, brushing teeth, bed--whatever her routine is) And let her a put a sticker on the chart when she completes the task without being asked by you. If you have to tell her to do something then she does NOT get a sticker. This will give her a sense of responsibility and will encourage her to do things without being told. Tell her that once she accumulates a certain amount of stickers she gets a reward. or maybe if she gets a certain number in a week you will go out for ice cream or something. Goodluck! If you need more suggestions, or help making an incentive chart if you choose, let me know!

Goodluck!

Answer 2

You might try making a chart and allowing her to put a sticker on the chart only after she has completed the chore. Allow her to make a few mistakes...like not brushing her teeth a time or two, or not making her bed. Also make a contract with her that describes in detail what the consequences of her behavior is for specific infractions. Then at the end of say one week reward her for the number of stickers she has. Let it be something significant - maybe take her to a movie or allow her to have a friend spend the night or maybe even a picnic at the park.

You will have to be consistent with both the rewards and the consequences in order for it to be effective; but, if you can do so you will be surprised at how soon you will see a difference. The chart will also prevent the repetitive nagging. That only serves to help her tune you out.

Hang in there mom, parenting is not for cowards! You have many of us willing to give you support and prayers.

Answer 3

My 6-year old was the same way. You just have to let her know who is the boss and don't give in. Cause if you give in then she will start walking all over you. Tell her to brush her teeth (or whatever you are wanting her to do), and if you have to tell her again she will lose the TV (or something else she likes) for the day. But you have to stick with it or she will start thinking that won't punish her for her actions. I said the stupidest thing to my daughter the other day. I told her that she has a choice in everything she does. So she started telling me that it was her choice not to "brush her teeth". So I had to break out the conversation about consequences to her choices. She has started making the right choice more often. LOL...not sure if this will help or not buth there it is.

Answer 4

I worry about giving my 7 year old the $2 I give her to do a chore around the house! I would never trust her with $70 dollars. Children that age don't understand the concept of buying things. Maybe she doesn't realize how much money she spent. I wouldn't spank her because you let her have the money in her possession. Children are extremely impulsive and honestly I don't think it was that big of a deal. If anything, I would just explain to her that she used 20 dollars of her money and that she can't use anymore until you say it is okay to do so.

Answer 5

hi honey,

this is a stage they go through. I have two girls, my oldest just turn 9 and the youngest is 6. I started having almost the same kind of issues you have.

My youngest one likes to take her toys in her school bag. I will allow this as a reward for brushing her teeth. For direction, for instance to pick up her clothes when she changes, will make them help me do the laundry if at the end of the week their clothes remains in the floor.

Try to warn them about consequences for wrong doing. For instance if you ask her to do something that's reasonable like doing home work and doesn't take away the TV. If she does, praise her and reward her with an extra bed time story.

If you are having issues with the kind of clothes she wears. Maybe you don't like the co lour coordination, or she is wearing clothes that's for older kids. Try not to make a big issue out of it. It is nice for kids to feel they can make choices without you always being on their face. Say to her I think this stop skirt goes with one of this blouse because it has pink which brings out you lovely big eyes.

You must be consistent with discipline and rewards. Have you hear about 1-2-3 magic. Its a book I recommend. If you don't have it check at your local library.

Answer 6

This is what my mother did. Example: "Go brush your teeth." As I quietly disobeyed, she would say: "I am going to say this one more time. If you choose not listen, you are NOT going to like what I do." If I didn't listen she'd march over there grab me by the arm smack my butt and then march me into the bathroom and stand there looking like death til I brushed my teeth. And she never said it more than twice. It took a couple times of smack/march and I learned to listen the first time. Hope this helps! With the sneaking stuff-- tell her she's going to lose the privilege of independence. Tell her if she insists on acting like a baby you will treat her like one. Dress her yourself, in the clothes of your choosing. Let her throw a fit. After a day or two ask her if she thinks shes ready to dress herself appropriately again. If she thinks she can let her, if she goes back to her old tricks start over with the baby routine. Or alternatively-- everything you catch her sneaking-- confiscate. "Oh this toy does not belong in your bag, I'll just put it up in my closet until you're ready to leave it where it belonds." And don't give anything back til the sneaking stops!

Answer 7

Take all the non-dresscode clothes out of her room so she has to wear the right stuff for school.

Search her before she leaves the house and when she gets home and if she has an "contraband" then don't allow any TV or games.

Find some pictures of rotting teeth and tell her that is why she should brush.

(I'm not a parent so this is just off the top of my head. God help my future children)

Answer 8

Tell her you mean business, and dont' give up until you have won the battle. If you have to baby her, then stay on her butt. Follow her to the bathroom, and watch her as she brushes her teeth. Check everything before she gets out of your sight in the mornings. You have to be on her, until she realizes that you are the boss. You can't be lazy, it's hard work, but trust me, if you don't get her to follow your rules now, you have no idea how bad it will get when she turns into a teenager.
(A sense of humor is also important to try to keep in times like this, when there is such a power struggle).
Once, my daughter was about 10, and actually tried to forge my name on a school paper she had failed. She used 'white out' to correct my name. LOL. We laugh about it now that she's 22, but she's never given me any real trouble. =)

Answer 9

its a stage, but it can drive you nuts, My daughter is turning 7 and we went trought it. Tips: Don't allow her to take clothes out of her closet, lock it if you have to, only you are allowed to take it out, She must not pack her school bag, you will, If you are ready to leave check her at the car "frisk" her like the police will when they surch someone, if you find anything, does not matter what it is trough it in the dustbin and let her see it, if she has a tantrum then ignore her, as for not listening, why listen to her when she askes for something ignore her let her ask you a 100 times over, if she does not want to brush her teeth let her be, but tell her that her breath stinks and that the kids at school is going to make fun of her. Something i have learned in my life as a mother. Dont lie down , spanking does not always work but playing at their own games works like a charm. It took my kid a whole month to crack but i got her to crack and she is a angel now i dont have to repeat something i asked she does her homework on her own she get dressed now without hassels or wrong clothing, for them its a game of power, so let them feel what you feel and i promise you they dont like it at all and she will change her ways, just dont give in and as a bonus she also helps her little brother now and he is a lazy little boy but he is going on the right track, as i heard her once tell her brother that you do not want mommy to get even with you . Good luck and hang in there and don't give up

Answer 10

wow! you can definitely tell from the responses which of these people actually have kids. lol!
okay, so here's the scoop. children are unique. there is no one correct answer.
my advice:
first, ask and get involved. find out if there is an underlying problem (such as needs more 'mommy and me' time or issues at school)
then, set the rules. but don't forget to explain why they need to be followed (and not with the ever-annoying 'because i said so' that most of us grew up hearing)
finally, stick to the rules like glue. i know, it's easier said than done, but once you bend the rule, it breaks, and broken rules won't work anymore.
also, don't forget to praise a job well done!
best of luck!