spanking??

Question

i think that spanking is an effective punishment but my friend says its horrid whats your oppinion

Answer 1

There is a line today, fine one at best, between spanking and child abuse. If you look at todays defination, then as a child I was physically abused. For the whole summer between times in frist grade, I was spanked every night, as I was the first person in my family to fail a grade.

Having said that I will tell you that I firmly believe that what is wrong with todays children and young people is that punishment does not fit the crime. Spanking is effective when used in the right manner and for the right reasons.

I spanked my children. I always told them they were going to get a spanking and I followed through with spanking them as I never used it as a threat. I always discussed with them the reason they were about to be punished and I always made sure there were plenty of hugs afterword when it was done. I always spanked barebottomed with my hand only and never spanked them in front of siblings or in public.

I have 4 of the most well behaved, emotionally stable children on my block. One recently became a business owner and is a great manager and business person.

In contrast a mother down the street has 2 children and they were her "angels". They never did anything wrong. At age 14 her son pulled a gun in school and is in State prison for the next 7 to 15 years for pistol whipping a teacher.

Although an extreme case it showds that when used in a proper manner, spanking is a great tool.

Answer 2

You are both right.

Spanking while you are upset and in an uncontrolled way is horrid. It teaches that it is OK to let your emotions control your actions and that violent venting is an acceptable way to deal with being upset. Like any powerful tool, spanking gets bad results if it is not used carefully.

Spanking as a last resort after you have had the chance to cool down if you need to, is effective and, with some children, needed.

Don't spank (or yell or do anything else that will have a major impact on your child) while you are really upset. Do set rules and limits as clearly as you can. Do follow up on warnings and never make idle threats.

Do follow your good common sense and spank as a last resort if it seems to work.

Spanking worked pretty well on me, it must have worked on you (or you would not have thought to use it).

There is plenty of research drawing the conclusion that spanking is harmful because that is the result the person conducting the research wants to get. The opposite conclusion would be against the "prevailing wisdom" amongst psychologists and someone who interprets the data to get that conclusion is likely to get shunned (or worse) to get their PhD dissertation rejected if they are a candidate.

Answer 3

There is a time and place for spankings but it is over used by many parents. IMO Spanking should be used no more than once a week at the most. It should serve as an attention getter or punishment for severe behavior or outright disrespect. However the child should be old enough to understand that is right and wrong. And a child should never be spanked for hitting ,that accomplishes nothing and only serves to reinforce the behavior. I think spankings are most effective on older children (3 and up, and depending on developmental state). Spanking should never be administered when the parent is angry. Most importantly the spanking needs to be followed up with talking about why they were spanked. I can only remember being spanked 3 times, and I believe i deserved them each time. When used effectively it is a good deterrent and form of discipline, but when used in excess can be detrimental.

I know this is not exactly what you were looking for but there is not black and white guidelines of when to use it and when not to. It is very parent child specific. To be a good form of discipline you must be a parent that can control anger and have a child who responds well to this form of punishment. I believe that spankings should be a last resort if timeouts and conversations fail.

Answer 4

I am surprised by how many people here really believe that spanking is effective. I would never, and have never had a reason to raise my hand to my daughter. I agree with the following research:

While spanking may relieve a parent's frustration and stop misbehavior briefly, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (1995), researchers suggest that spanking may be the least effective discipline method. To test this hypothesis, researchers surveyed parents, with the assumption that if spanking worked, children who were spanked would learn to behave better over time so that they would need punishing less frequently (Leach, 1996). However, the results showed that families who start spanking before their children are a year old are just as likely to spank their 4-year-old children as often as families who do not start spanking until later. Thus, children appear not to be learning the lessons parents are trying to teach by spanking.

Spanking may be ineffective because it does not teach an alternative behavior (American Academy of Pediatrics, 1995). In fact, children usually feel resentful, humiliated, and helpless after being spanked (Samalin & Whitney, 1995). The primary lesson they learn appears to be that they should try harder not to get caught.

Spanking also sends the wrong message to children (Samalin & Whitney, 1995). Spanking communicates that hitting is an acceptable way to solve problems, and that it is all right for a big person to strike a smaller one. In addition, when children are spanked, they may know that they have done something wrong, but in many cases, they are too young to understand the lesson. It is a very difficult message for any adult or child to understand: "I hurt you because I don't want you hurt."

Finally, when spanking is the primary discipline method used, it may have some potentially harmful long-term effects such as increasing the chances of misbehavior, aggression, violent or criminal behavior; impaired learning; and depression (Straus, 1995).

Answer 5

My daughter is 4 and listens to what I tell her to do. I have not had to spank her and she is the sweetest little thing ever. I tell her jokingly I'm gonna spank her little butt if she's being ornery like most children. Nothing to fly off the handle over. I'm afraid if I spank her she will not learn other ways to deal with stress and anger other than hitting. We live in an idiotic world sometimes but we can't start hitting people because we think they are being rude or stupid.

Answer 6

I think your right, as long as your not ONLY using spanking. I personally think spanking should be saved for major rule breaking, or as a last resort, never be done in anger, and be followed up with a long conversation as to why they got spanked, and how to avoid them in the future.

Good Luck

Answer 7

I don't think it is the best or a good punishment, even though there may be a situation which warrants it. Time out, standing in a corner, extra chores and many more are more effective. You just have to remember to stick with it and not let the child or children off the hook early. If you say 10 minutes then keep it 10 minutes. If you say no phone for a week make it a week.

Answer 8

What do you mean by spanking? One swat on the butt is not horrible, but getting out of control and beating them is bad. Remember, if you spank, NEVER do it when you're angry, and ALWAYS set a limit to how many swats you do, so you don't go crazy. My husband was abused, so we rarely spank. When we do, we have a one swat limit, so we need to make sure it's a good one. :) Some kids aren't phased by getting sent to their rooms, others only need a time out. I would suggest a time out first (1 minute per age, so a 5 yr old would get a 5 min time out), and if that doesn't work at all, then do the spanking. I have 1 child that needed spankings, and 1 child that can be corrected with a time out. Every child is different, you need to punish according to their personalities.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

I think it is a personal decision. My oldest child is almost 12 and I can count on one hand how many times hes recieved a spanking not because I don't believe in them but because I have found taking away his games or other favorite thing for a week or so works better.