Should I run away and start anew?

Question

Im 21, When i first graduated school I was sent off overseas back to my miserable homeland for college, for financial reasons and other "cultural" reasons. I can't get a job that pays more than 0.80/hr, no car, no social life, and i really dissagree with the society over here. My studies aren't going well I've already changed my major once. All my constructive hobbies are down the drain, I used to work out at the gym, and now i smoke. I had a passion for guitars, and now im slowly losing that too. I haven't dated since I came here, and I can't see how anybody can build a future here. However, I'm presented with a once in a lifetime opportunity, I'm traveling back to the US for the summer. I'm thinking about grabbing all my legal documents (passport, social...) and run away from my family and hideous life. I have a friend in florida that said i could bunk at his place for as long as I need. I'm presented with a chance to start fresh. But I'm scared and I need advice.

By the way, I would appreciate it if anybody could talk to me about this through IM or email, my yahoo account is [e-mail]

thanks.

I've known the guy for 10 years now, he's my best friend since grade school. I'm trying to leave a depressing place with no future... its really tough to explain in under 1000 characters, but im willing to IM or email on it.

* Yes I am a legal citizen (thats why i mentioned the passport and social among many other documents)

Answer 1

Usually when we feel like running away the real thing is we want to run away from ourselves and we always end up with the same feeling of running away no matter where we are. If you have the opportunity to go to your friend and as you say start fresh you can go ahead. But remember that once you are with your friend what is gonna happen if he ask you to leave his place? Have you think about that? Of course you can get a job and get your own place after awhile. Do you know your friend really well for you to take this decision? By the way you are not mentioning where you are.

Answer 2

It depends. I once heard this fable:

A man was walking down the road leaving the city in which he came. A car going toward the town he just came from stopped, and a man asked him: "What is the city I am coming to like?" The traveler asked him, "Well, what is the city you just came from like?" The man responded, "Oh, it was horrible. The people were rude and there was nothing to do with little opportunity." The traveler responded,"Unfortunately, you will find that you are approaching is much the same as the city you just came from." The man drove off disappointed.

Another car stopped and another man inquired, "What is the city I am coming to like?" The traveler asked the man the same question, but his response was, "It was a beautiful city with friendly people and so much to see and do!" The traveler smiled and said, "Then, I am happy to tell you that the city ahead of you is much the same."

The moral of the story is that if you are just trying to run away from yourself, going to a new place will not provide the answer that you are looking for. So you need to do some soul searching to make sure that it is truly the place you are running away from, not yourself. On the flip side, I have moved from one place to another and have found it to be one of the best decisions I have ever made. Sometimes starting over is a good thing. However, no one here will be able to tell you the right answer. YOU have to find that within yourself.

Good luck!

Answer 3

You may have the beginnings of depression, so see http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on page 2, and practise one of the relaxation techniques daily, as it will help you in future. I'd go, grasp the opportunity in both hands; get a part or full time job, and continue studying. Give up smoking (you can use the money better). Do more than your fair share at your friends place; vacuum and clean when he is around, and start looking for a place of your own, as soon as circumstances permit: tell him this, and mention your gratitude once every few weeks. Get your story right for Immigration: letter from friend inviting you to stay with him indefinitely; purpose for travel (study? yeah, where? when? how long?): if work, they'll ask for your papers. Ensure all in order: they'll ask what are you going to live on. Your answer? Get this sorted out! Ask another question about it, in the appropriate section: travel?

Answer 4

Yes, you should run away from your family. At 21 you can decide without anyone else saying anything to you. As long as you are a legal U.S citizen there is no problem with you coming back and staying. If you aren't a legal citizen you should find out what the rules are before you jump into something that might get you in trouble. You can tell any future employers/landlords/schools that they need to keep all your information confidential because your family is a danger to you. If they try to contact you ignore them and don't let them bully you.

Answer 5

all i can say is follow ur heart and guts for no one can give u a better answer then them. but if things are bad as u say i would run and try to start a new life. but u do know what they say ur troubles well follow u no matter where u go unless u find a way 2 make them go away but good luck

Answer 6

it seems like you know what you want, and if there is a chance i think you should go for it. however, i think it would be wise to tell your family and hope to gain their support. even if you dont, im sure they wont stay mad at you forever, especially if you succeed in the States.

be prepared to stat at the bottom of the food chain getting a job in florida, though im hoping it will be better than what you currently live with.

once youve settled, enroll in community college.

good luck!!!

Answer 7

Sounds like you have a bad sitution to get out of... I'd say take off and stay in the US a least you have a fighting chance here.

Answer 8

No matter where you run, there you are. It makes nothing better.