I cheated on my girlfriend once(while she'd been gone for 6 months in Paris), and I told her so we separated, although we were to remain as friends. I struggled with the break up and depended on my best friend for comfort. Within a matter of weeks she slept with my best friend a couple of times last week. My best friend decided to tell me today instead of find out through anyone else. I did not take it well as I've not got over the relationship.
What should I do now? Should I hate them for it? Is it even any of my business? Should I confront my ex? Who is in the most wrong - me, my ex or my best friend?
2007-06-19 13:31:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's a rough spot to be in all around and placing blame at this point is counter-productive to what you need most right now, which is healing. There's something kind of "slimy" about sleeping with a best friend's ex, and no doubt this occurred to your friend, but I give him credit for telling you before you heard it from someone else. That means he at least cares about you and your feelings. Then again, I suspect you're very young, and young hormones are forces to be reckoned with...you can relate to that because you cheated on your girl while she was gone for 6 months. You probably feel betrayed, and that's a valid feeling, but it is also karmic fallout from actions you put into motion when you decided to cheat. There's no real need to confront your ex because technically she wasn't your girl and she didn't owe you a thing. Your real issue (if you have an issue at all) is with your friend, and I gather he already feels terrible enough about it without your going over it in detail. What you need to decide right now is whether or not your friendship can survive. He did some dirt to you (because even though she was "free" he still knew how you felt about her) but even you at your age can attest to the fact that a "hard dick has little or no conscience"; you "know" this because you made a similar mistake and paid a heavy price for it. If you can forgive him please do so. His actions after the fact demonstrate some qualities of friendship worth preserving if you can get past the hurt. I'm sorry this happened to you, but you'll be a wiser and more thoughtful person for having gone through this because you now realize how fragile relationships can be. Don't sacrifice them over temporary gratifications. Good luck in the future.
2007-06-19 14:03:45 · answer #1 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who's in the wrong here? YOU!
Ex means that she is free to do what she sees fit with her life, and best friend means that he's just a best friend. Meaning, that you don't own either one of them, and can not tell them what to do.
You cheated on her, and you two broke up, which means she didn't cheat on you.
2007-06-19 13:41:24 · answer #2 · answered by sweetgurl13069 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cheated on her, you didn't love her. Sorry to put it bluntly, but life is too short to boohoo over someone who wasn't worth being faithful to in the first place. Sure, I'd be pissed off if I were you too, since it's your best friend, but if he was single and your ex-girlfriend was single and not interested in getting back together with you, what is being pissed over it going to hurt besides losing your best friend? Bros before hoes! (And I'm a chick and I'm saying this...)
2007-06-19 13:37:59 · answer #3 · answered by Cara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya know what i think? I think that u and ur ex r broken up sorry but thats a fact. and i think that no one is in the wrong. it's just that u and ur ex broke up ur friend slept with her and ur left with nothing so what does that make u want to do? it makes u feel hurt and betrayed doesn't it? ya i can understand that but nothing is going to change if u confront either of them its already been done so find sum one else it may take time but it's worth it!
good luck! :-D
2007-06-19 13:40:05 · answer #4 · answered by becca100100 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok...you were wrong and its right that the relationship ended b/c you messed that up.
your friend is wrong too. im sure he knew the turmoil you were going through, so he shouldn't have jumped on your ex.
however i wouldn't HATE him for it. try to forgive him and move on. you should think about it like this, you hurt this girl...so now this girl hurts you back. how? with your best friend. im not justifying your friend, just sort of looking at it from all angles
2007-06-19 13:41:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you did cheat on her. She probably did it to get back at you.
I would say, try to forgive them both as best your ability because, you will never get over it until you do.
And remember, there's a million other girls out there. Obviously this wasn't the one.
2007-06-19 13:36:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its all wrong but in love and war its all fair. you have no reason to confront any of them because she wasnt your girl anymore but the best friend is probably not the kinda you want to have because its an "unwritten law" that best friends don't have anything to do with each other's ex's. so i suggest talkin to him about that but just forget about her. it wont be easy but just do it and be a man about it
2007-06-19 13:35:39 · answer #7 · answered by crazyboi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this whole thing never would have happened in the first place if you hadn't cheated on you ex. So you ended up bringing it on yourself, sorry to say, but its true.
2007-06-19 13:38:52 · answer #8 · answered by ~secrett~ 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you cheated first and the relationship was over because of it. That means she wasn't your girlfriend when she had sex with your friend. Therefore, no one is at fault but you for wrecking the relationship in the first place.
Lesson learned, I hope.
2007-06-19 13:35:31 · answer #9 · answered by life is good 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he was a good friend he wouldn't be sleeping with your ex. Your better off not talking to either one of them.
2007-06-19 13:42:43 · answer #10 · answered by John L 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋