I am getting married in 5 months. My mum is giving us a budget and we dont know how to ask if his parents intend on contributing to the cost of the wedding. Please help, how do I bring this subject up? What do I say?
2007-06-19 13:31:09 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
P.S I have a fantastic relationship with his parents and have known them for over 5 years. I dont expect them to contribute a lot, more looking to ask if they plan on contributing at all. We are able to do the wedding on the budget mum has given us, but would like to know what their plans are.
2007-06-19 14:04:32 · update #1
Well, in most cultures the bride's parents tend to pay for the wedding ....but in this day and age, everything is 50/50. So perhaps...depending on your budget u can bring it up to ur fiance and say....my parents are contributing this much...how much are your parents willing to contribute. Note, it also depends on how much the wedding is too, plus how much you and ur fiance intend to put into the wedding as well. Another thing to do is say this is the budget, this is how much we have, and this is how much we need, ( do it during a family dinner or something) and then ask if people can pitch in to help cover some of that...and perhaps they will help.
2007-06-19 13:38:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've never been married before, but I believe the tradition is for the bride's family to take care of the costs of the actual ceremony/reception, and the groom's family is supposed to handle the wedding rehearsal/rehearsal dinner (or party). However, if they've not mentioned ANYTHING AT ALL, then definitely ask your parents to call his parents to make arrangements and come to some type of agreement about what his family will cover. It wouldn't look bad at all for your mom and dad to do that...I mean, it's what they NEED to do.
If you guys are not having a rehearsal dinner/party, then his parents need to take on the reception or SOMETHING. It's a shame that you even have to ASK his side of the family.
If they say no, then you've done all that you can do. However, if No is your answer, then you may have to limit the amount of people that his family can invite to the wedding because of your budget. It's only fair.
2007-06-19 13:39:12 · answer #2 · answered by Valerie C 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You and your fiance sit down with his parents, and ask if they can help contribute to the costs of the wedding. YOU do not ask this on your own, since they may barely know you, and it would be very awkward, to say the least. As a matter of fact, if they don't know you well at all, it may be best to simply have your fiance ask them, without you even being present. You might also suggest they pay for one aspect of the wedding, such as the music, or the reception hall rental, etc. But don't expect them to do this, they're not obligated in any way to do this. You can also get a 2nd job to help defray wedding expenses as well, so can your fiance.
2007-06-19 13:39:44 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He needs to talk to them alone and ask if they are able to/ plan to contribute anything to the wedding. What ever they offer is a great gift and accept it graciously (not like someone I know who through a fit and caused a ton of family grief). If they ask for a figure, have one ready, but let them know whatever they want to give will be greatly appreciated.
And the days of the brides side paying for it all are over! Everyone I know got money from both side to help pay. It may be the brides big day, but it is the joining of two families. If the grooms side doesn't want to contribute, then they don't have to, but it never hurts to ask.
2007-06-19 13:37:35 · answer #4 · answered by kimandryan2008 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's customary for the parents of the bride to pay for the wedding, and the groom's parents to pay for the rehearsal dinner. If you can't afford the wedding you want on the money your parents can provide, then you should probably scale back the wedding.
If his family offers, great, but if they don't, I'd say you've got no choice but to stick to the budget your parents gave you. To ask for additional money from his parents would put everyone in an uncomfortable, embarrassing situation, and would really be crass.
2007-06-19 13:36:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anne M 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There has be volunteering they could do. Has all and sundry addressed the invites yet? that is a huge help to you and could enable them to get entangled. have you ever made your wedding ceremony courses yet? there are a number of stuff that they could help out with that don't contain funds. in case you have not executed invites yet, you may supply your mothers and fathers the activity of coping with RSVP's from the travellers. perhaps merely make a itemizing of what nonetheless desires to be executed and tell them they are able to % something they choose from the checklist.
2016-10-18 02:10:52 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know you don't want to hear this but i can't resist> If you are getting married you should not have a wedding that you and him can not afford your self. Here you are suppose to be getting out on your own and you already want someone else to start paying your way. All money over $50.00 spent on a wedding is wasted. You could well use the extra for furniture or were you planning on Mommy and daddy paying for it. you should go into this with a logical mind and live according to your means . Don't be a burden to others all your life.
2007-06-19 13:43:21 · answer #7 · answered by roy40371 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
You dont. Its very rude. Plan on paying for everything yourself and if they decide to chip in some cash then bonus, but if they dont then you will not have planned a wedding beyond your means.
I can not stress this enough, his parents (and yours for that matter) do not owe any sort of money to pay for your wedding, especially in the day and age where couples both have jobs and in alot of cases live together and support themselves finacially. If they want to pitch in they will, if they dont, they wont. You can not be resentful of them if they dont, it is not anyones resposibility to pay for your wedding but your own.
2007-06-19 14:19:00 · answer #8 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just have him go to his parents and explain that you are kind of tight on money and wondering if they could contribute anything to the wedding. Don't ask for a certain amount, just be grateful for anything they do contribute.
2007-06-19 13:35:30 · answer #9 · answered by blue_girl 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You DON'T! And that is not the way to start off your relationship with them. Traditional the cost of the wedding is the bride and her family's responsibility. Unless they volunteer I suggest you live within the budget your mother has set for you.
2007-06-19 13:38:31 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋