My in-laws are too much into religion and worship. All they watch on TV is sanskar channel. I think this is a big reason that they are completely disconnected with our generation. When my father-in-law visits us I find it very awkward watching any light entertainment stuff in front of him.The result is I get terribly bored in his company. They never watch any new movies or anything entertaining on TV. They still talk about stuff like girls are meant to be given to another family and their previous family does not have those rights on them any longer after marriage! God! Being a well educated and independent woman it's so frustrating to hear all this. They are nice but extreemly overbearing. They want complete right over me and find it difficult to accept my family in my life.I have started confronting these views but still have a long way to go. Any suggestions?
2007-06-19 12:38:43 · 14 answers · asked by Deeps 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sometimes u got to overcome it with a smile. Sometimes with a strong & firm word that u can't agree. Make sure u do not prolong the issue & make it into an arguement. If u keep nodding ur head, then they'd assume..u will carry out their will.
U have a fairer chance than me.. U r educated.. u can spend time at office or anywhere else. I'm struck without getting my work visa here in US.
2007-06-19 12:43:58 · answer #1 · answered by Smile- conquers the world 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm. Disconnected....that's an interesting word.
you think THEY are disconnected because their faith is so important to them. You dislike being with them because you can't watch "I Love New York" (ugh) on VH1 or MTV or whatever it's on because all the people on that show do nothing but show how idiotic, low minded and shallow they are. They can't have a conversation without bad grammar, boobs practically popping out of their dresses, and a 2 to 1 ratio of words I can't write on Yahoo answers.
Or maybe you meant something else, like "America's Funniest Home Videos". You know, something "clean". If you feel uncomfortable watching something in front of them, maybe it's because you know what you're watching isn't exactly morally, emotionally, spiritually or psychologically uplifting and somewhere deep in your soul, you're actually sort of embarassed by it. I really wonder what you consider "ENTERTAINING". (?)
Now don't get me wrong, I like Hell's kitchen and a few other things on TV but some of the things I watch I would never allow my 3 year old granddaughter to watch....she doesn't have the discrimination it takes to filter out the crap.
When was the last time you went to a "new movie" (with the exception of a cartoon) that you'd feel comfortable taking a child to? Been a while, probably. Shame on you for condemning them because they choose ONLY to put into their minds what they (and their faith) considers clean and uplifting.
yeah, they sound old fashioned, but so what? They were raised in a different generation.
You do NOT have to agree with their views to enjoy their company. They have a wealth of knowledge of life that you could learn from if you keep an open mind. Watch something that your father in law likes when he's over and ask him about it; engage him in conversation. Not only does that make you look wise and loving to them, your hubby will adore you for it.
Instead of "CONFRONTING" their beliefs as if they're wrong, find out why they believe this or that and maybe you can take a little something positive away from every meeting you have with them. Feel free to say "well, I think this" or "I believe..." and discuss openly, without condemning.
Bottom line, you married their son; the product of their lives; their household; their beliefs.....but you now want to question and "confront" them about those things...Hmm. Sounds hypocritical to me.
2007-06-19 20:08:35 · answer #2 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your in-laws are out of touch with any generation I believe. I am very "into" religion and worship and I don't believe any of these things. Are they in the U.S.? I didn't know anyone felt that way anymore - girls being GIVEN to another family - give me a break.
I would just be polite to your in-laws but would not stop doing what I wanted to do. Do you have any children? If so you and your husband are going to need to talk to these in-laws. Your children don't need to hear about girls being given to other families. I would think you and your in-laws could politely agree to disagree.
2007-06-19 20:06:50 · answer #3 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no need to challenge your inlaws on trivial matters or to win the challenge, or drive in your point of view. Maybe u are right, but there is no point in verbal altercations. Times change, generations change, inlaws also change. But the change is slow. I advise, go with the flow of the stream, and make changes, slight changes, only when required. It will require tremendous effort to swim upstream, against the current. However, they should not stop u from having touch with your family. U must tackle this with a lot of sensitivity and tact.
2007-06-21 01:23:08 · answer #4 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They must be quite old to consider that ancient tradition.. Everybody knows that some traditions of the past generations are unapplicable in the present.. Face everything with a smile cause it wont take long.. Morbid as this idea may seem, old people are just waiting for their time.. Goodluck!
Just to add: you rock lady_phoenix39!!
2007-06-19 20:49:46 · answer #5 · answered by Coin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody gets a long with in laws. just deal with it. Let them think the way they want to think. Noting wrong with knowing the Lord, May be they can help you out if you dont know him. I think people like that you can learn things from.
2007-06-19 19:45:25 · answer #6 · answered by MrsCAPTAIN !!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is but natural that we all grow and become old.Our tastes also change.If you can affotd buy a second TV for senior citizens and you enjoy the hot stuff.If you can't afford go to your club or friends house and enjoy.Take a bottle with you, he will also enjoy.
2007-06-23 19:25:49 · answer #7 · answered by murthyssr9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lady_pheonix39, I totally agree with you. Hats off to your thinking.
Yes, it is not proper to confront with them at their old age. Their experience may not be useful to you to lead your way of life, that doesn't mean you have nothing to learn from them. Learn atleast values and attitude, that will take you till the end of your life and you can pass it on to your children.
Dont waste your time in front of that idiot box.
2007-06-19 20:22:13 · answer #8 · answered by piston 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have this problem too with my in laws and they are very religious people.I am not to the extent that they are.You just have to try and get along with them.You dont have to agree with what they believe and they also need to respect that you have opinions and beliefs too,.
2007-06-19 19:50:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should respect their beliefs. I'm sure you can grin and bear it while they are visiting. You're not gonna die from not watching what you want on TV for an hour or so.
2007-06-19 19:44:01 · answer #10 · answered by M n M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋