how do you know when it's over?

Question

maybe it's when you ask yourself if it's over? maybe it's when they tell you it's over. maybe I still love him too much to leave. I'm not sure if he still wants to work things out, but I do love him even if his idea of love is different from mine. How do you KNOW that its over?

Answer 1

Far as when it's really over your partner
1) shows one of the patterns below
2) despite your recognition of the problems (and communication of them to him) and efforts to assertively tilt your goals and his toward solving the patterns over 2-3 months, he has not showed any significant signs of improvement

It's not as simple as finding your partner's being busy or out at nights and giving up.
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One tell-tale sign is you find yourself doing stressful things just to get your partner to show vague signs of affection...or that your partners affection only increases if you spend a lot of money on them. The answer is don't feel guilty in arguments or get the impression you "owe your partner"...treat it like you are a team and, in your case, do your half and then push his arguments back rather than apologizing. Often saying you are sorry and wrong becomes a self-fulfilling process where your partner begins to think you are really wrong even when you aren't.

Another sign is your partner suddenly seems oddly interested in your friends and/or activities like clubbing and social groups often unrelated to his/her usual interests. The partner may also often do overly nice things after nights out to "relieve the guilt", but most often not including sex: this isn't just girl talk...guys do this as well.

Also, in most cases you know it's over when the sex either stops or your partner, for example, always asks to do new positions (IE he/she is "training for someone else"). Often the simple solution to this one is to get in the shape to be the best lover your partner ever had...and not act like your partner is doing you a favor when he/she mentions sex (IE be assertive and confident...then back it up with skill).

Lastly, if you started as a pure couple but are now co-dependent on your partner, through money, self-esteem (or how the partner's image effects your family or friends' view of you), you may be in a corrupt relationship and want to rethink what drew you two together in the first place, and either work to readopt a positive attitude or realize you need to break-up and start on a stronger path.

Answer 2

You pretty much summed it up* IF you're asking yourself is it over? if he tells you it's over*
You'll Always hold a dear place in your heart for him...Always...but if it's not going anywhere, and you two have grown apart and want different things out of life....or his idea of Love is different than yours...Then it's time to move on*

Life is too short to waste it away with the person you know won't be in your life forever. WHen was the last time you felt appreciated by him, when was the last time you two laughed together doing some fun activity together, when was the last time you two even went anywhere together that you could say WOW THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN*-.

Communication Trust and Honesty are the keys to a long healthy relationship...without those..you have nothing~

Answer 3

Its that gut feeling, that inner voice, that tells you its over. Always trust it, it's usually right.

Answer 4

when the mind explores these avenues and byways -----you can rest assured there is thunder in the jungle.

Answer 5

Listen to your heart. It does not lie.

Answer 6

when lack of communication is in the picture...