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A friend of mine has 3 small kids, ages 4, 2, and 10 months, she is a single mother and although the father supports the kids and is active in their life, she still struggles to take care of them. Here is her problem, she is getting state subsidized childcare for the kids, she works first shift from 8am to 4pm at a mail center. She makes a decent salary, but it is not enough to get off the subsidized childcare. She was very upset yesterday when she went to get the kids and walked in on the teacher yelling out the 4 year old to put away a toy he kept demanding to have. She has never had a problem before with the teacher, but she is also convinced this is not the first time the child has been yelled at by this woman. She wants to switch day cares, but most of the daycares have huge waiting lists and she has thye choice to either pull the kids out and tough it out with no babysitter, or keep the kids in daycare and wait until an opening comes up elsewhere.She's voiced this to the worker.

2007-06-19 10:41:40 · 8 answers · asked by Nyema 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting Parenting

Her worker has said that there isn't much else she can do, and expressed tho my friend to talk with the day care director, which my friend has. The director was concerend but she took the side of the teacher, saying that the teacher has never had any complaints, but that she would keep an eye out. ]Meanwhile, my friend had spoke with another lady whose kids used to attend the same daycare, and this lady also voiced concerns about this teacher? What should my friend do? She has no one else to keep the kids until anohter day care slot opens? I can't, and neither can their dad.

2007-06-19 10:47:29 · update #1

8 answers

As a mom for 28 years to 4 kids and a child care provider for 20 years, I know that sometimes I yell even though I know it isn't the right thing to do. A determined 4 year old with a one-track-mind can exasperate even the most patient of teachers and care-givers and moms, too. If I were a parent who walked in on a teacher yelling at my child, I would make an appointment to speak with the teacher privately, without the children present. Since I walked in on a situation that I did not fully witness, I would certainly want to hear what he/she had to say about the incident. I would ask the principal or director to attend the meeting as well. It is unrealistic to assume that teachers and care givers, being the humans that they are, do not sometimes raise their voices in anger. If a private meeting did not resolve my concerns with the teacher, I would make a formal complaint with the licensing agency and be prepared to find other child care arrangements. Your friend should visit other daycare facilities and get her name on waiting lists just in case. She can also look into other arrangements such as a person who comes to her home or a home child care instead of a center. Her options are somewhat limited in her situation. I would suggest that she get on some of the waiting lists and switch daycares when she can if she can not work it out with the teacher. It is much better to work with your child's teacher to work out a solution that is workable for all whenever possible. I have cared for some pretty strong-willed 4 year olds that will push you as far as they can push. Perhaps your friend's child is part of the problem as well and he is old enough to understand he must follow the rules at daycare. If the child's behavior is an issue, your friend will need to reinforce at home was is acceptable at school and talk about was is expected of him.

2007-06-19 11:46:02 · answer #1 · answered by sevenofus 7 · 1 0

there are state laws about reporting daycare problems to. I would find who heads this department and make a complaint. Daycares are suppose to be regulated, but yelling at a child may not be enough to do anything really.
Your friend may want to check into in home daycares rather than a daycare center. I had a issue like this when my kids went to a daycare center, the lady was yelling foul language at my son, then called me at work later and told me to come get my f*** kids. All because he was use to being up at 4:00 am and he wouldnt go back to sleep. I had to change to this daycare because my previous daycare center director passed away.
I never had any luck with daycare centers but one and home daycares are not that easy to pick as well. Maybe she could hire someone to come into her home and watch the children, maybe a sahm that just needs a little extra money could watch them.
But if she really believes that her children are at risk, I would suggest trying leaving early one day to go spy on the daycare center, have dad drop by, maybe if you could drop by like you were intersted in rates and view how activity are going on with no one suspecting. Or just get her kids out of there.

I beleive that at almost every day care I have seen someone has raised thier voice in a matter to a child, not right maybe but it isnt uncommon.

2007-06-19 18:01:24 · answer #2 · answered by diane33michigan 4 · 0 0

She needs to make some major changes in her life. If she has family (a Mom) that she can move in with, or even an older niece that would be willing to live with her and help care for the kids. At least it would be family.

She could also get a night job and have somone overlap her hours and watch the kids at night while she's home during the day. She may not get much sleep, but you gotta do what you gotta do!! Kids grow up fast, in a few years they'll all be in school and she can switch her hours again.

2007-06-19 22:17:15 · answer #3 · answered by jonesk_92656 3 · 0 0

I think she should let the teacher know that she heard the yelling and ask her what happened. Was the teacher really yelling or just speaking strongly. Sometimes people confuse the two. I have been known to use "warm fuzzies " or "cold pricklies" in dealing with young children.

2007-06-19 17:58:39 · answer #4 · answered by DW 3 · 1 0

I also hate having my kids in daycare. I would call DHS if it is state funded and voice her concern about the teacher.It is her right to make sure her kids are bieng taking care of well no matter who pays for her child care.Good for her for working and taking care of her kids.

2007-06-19 17:52:02 · answer #5 · answered by cherrie022 5 · 1 0

Talk to the teacher, state in no uncertain terms that this behaviour is not appropiate and that if it were to happen again then legal action will be taken against her.
Also get your names on those waiting lists in case it goes **** up and you have no other option.

2007-06-19 18:08:20 · answer #6 · answered by futuretopgun101 5 · 0 1

What should she do? See her doctor about effective forms of birth control.

Then she should continue to work with the daycare director to make sure the situation is resolved.

2007-06-19 18:03:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 3

there is no dilemma, a 4 yr old does not get to demand anything and mom would be better served in worrying about getting a better job

2007-06-19 18:00:19 · answer #8 · answered by tincan_man 1 · 2 2

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