I do not like the idea of porn and I will not watch it. My bf does not watch porn neither( only in his past once in awhile when he was single) we are deep in or faith and this is another factor to why he does not want anything to do with porn. We are honest with eachother and open and tell eachother things all thetime. Recently, I was on his computer and checked his history.. it showed porn links about 5. I have checked his history plenty of times and never found anything. We have sex alot but it has slowed down because we r busy..we have been together for 2yrs. and we are healhty. This hurt me because I felt as though I am not good enough. He was really hurt that I found it, and said he wanted to tell me that he looked at it but closed it right away because he felt ashamed. I feel betrayed and I feel as though I cannot trust him. He said this was his first time since we were together..and he only looked cause he had an urge to. i dont believe him and I am still suffering.
2007-06-19 09:58:07 · 16 answers · asked by caysay d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It hurts because I thought he would not do this and keep it from me for a few days until I found out myself. We argued about it and cried but he asked for forgiveness...he hasn't looked at it since...this is the first time. I beleive him alittle,...but I feel like i cannot trust his word....he reassures me that I am only what he wants. I feel as though he cheated on me in his heart by lusting and loking at degradable women. and I do believe that every man does not look at pornography all the time or at all. I do not think it is healthy and neither does he...but I do feel betrayed...what do you think I should do. Please answer with caring ideas that are respectful.
2007-06-19 10:11:01 · update #1
I would just talk to him about it. I don't like porn either. I don't think people should have to watch that. If the person who says they are in love with you need that then they don't love you to much. I don't like the idea of having to look at other naked men to get aroused and I don't think my man should have to look at other women to get hard. We are also religious though so that plays a part to. I would just tell him how it made you feel. Ask him if you can do anything to make things better or if it is just him.
2007-06-19 10:04:27 · answer #1 · answered by TTC#2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense lady but you didn't trust him to begin with or you wouldn't be checking his history on his computer,. I think the issue goes a lot deeper than whether or not he looked at porn. There is obviously a serious trust issue between you. My husband looks at porn. I personally do not see anything wrong with it and will occassionally look at it with him. (Makes for an exciting night) My feeling is this, I rather he look at something on the computer, tv, vcr etc than go out and try to find it in the real world. If you are adament about not having porn in your life then it could be possible that you are not with the right person. I believe your boyfriend will continue to look at porn when the urge strikes and you making him feel guilty will only change your relationship status not the porn viewing. When a man looks at porn 99% of the time it has nothing to do with the way he feels about his partner.
2007-06-19 10:07:17 · answer #2 · answered by D and G Gifts Etc 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First question: If you trust him, why did you feel that you had to check his history. Sounds like you have not trusted as you said due to checking his history in the past before this time. Were you looking just to make sure had covered YOUR tracks on porn sites? My X was always looking through my shtuff, either email, phone bills, my wallet, you name it she was in it looking for something. She never found anything because there was nothing to hide. I think that she must have been cheated on during all her past relationships and was WANTING or EXPECTING to find something. I believe that is one of the reasons that we are no longer together. She is not happy unless she has something to be pissed about. I hope for your BF's sake that you are not like that.
Maybe he was looking for a different way to spice up the love making, sounds like you both enjoy that in the relationship. Why not just ask him if there is something different that he would like to try in the sexual area. If there is and you or he does not ever say anything you will never know.
2007-06-19 10:14:24 · answer #3 · answered by psycho magnet 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, he did say he was going to tell you, so I guess that counts for something. He might have just deleted his history and kept it from you and never looked again, until he would have an urge. Going through his web history is a trust issue, he probably felt hurt that you did that. Talk this thing out with him, have an agreement for him not to look at porn and let him know it hurts you.
2007-06-19 11:10:59 · answer #4 · answered by Icebox -0: Never Again 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just shoot me...just freakin shoot me. I never leave a derogatory answer but this one I Just could not help it. Here goes, I'm sure the best answer award will go to someone else when I tell you that you have fallen out of a tree and hit your head. Him looking at a porno web site is just curiosity, and sexual stimulation. You being worried about it should only be an issue if it's a everyday occurrence. On occasion men just need visual stimulation and you being strong in your faith is just bogus. Being strong in your faith has "nothing" to do with sexual stimulation(end of story). I'm sure you are both "married" right? ...lol Bogus, sex is as natural as sleeping and I mean "natural"...so lighten up before you loose him because you are trying to keep him under wraps all the time. And get a little more creative in bed and stop taking life to serious...of coarse that's just my opinion. Good Luck
2007-06-19 10:31:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
...I won't tell either of you two how to feel about porn....it's no one's job to do that kinda stuff reasonably. I'd ask you more about your snooping around in your boyfriends computer history though. It's his computer hun...not yours. I don't wanna believe he looks at porn against your will darling...but he does look at it within his own legal rights anyways. Most porn is not illegal....and it's also not a crime in a relationship to occasionally look at some too. We guys are visually and sexually inspired first honey...along with being mostly horny all the time anyways. I don't believe for a minute he looks at porn to disgust you directly reasonably. I'd say more that you should stop snooping around in his own private stuff otherwise. You don't want him looking at YOUR internal history...and judging you...do you? My point exactly hun! Forgive him and forget these small indiscretions hun. He's getting hyped up to be with you isn't he? ...again my point...exactly!
2007-06-19 10:11:41 · answer #6 · answered by scott s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men look at porn.
it's what they do. they are visual creatures, and no matter how immoral you might think it is. A man will look at porn. hell even preachers can't keep away from porn and meth-fueled sex with rentboys.
The more importnat question - and the one that is the healthier question to ask is this: Why does him looking at porn make you insecure? Why do you feel so insecure int he relationship that you need to go snooping behind him to see where he's been surfing? Those porn girls are no threat to you.
They are eye candy - an outlet for a quick sex fantasy, that's it. They don't hold anythign to you - because you're the girl he's given himself to, who he does things for, who he loves (i'm guessing).
2007-06-19 10:04:11 · answer #7 · answered by China J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who gave you the right to check his "history"?
You think you own him?
Have you had the decency to tell him you are checking up on him??
Hopefully he dosent dump you and find somebody else because of your paranoia about what he looks at on the net.
2007-06-19 10:35:08 · answer #8 · answered by conranger1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont take it too seriously, give it some time, see if he does it again. He might have "had the urge." Who knows. When was the last time you gave it to him? Think about that.
2007-06-19 10:05:47 · answer #9 · answered by Cayy. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds sorta like the action picture, "women guy", the place they are speaking approximately how their better halves cheated on them with a similar guy and that all of them withstand say their come upon with the infamous "women guy" and one guy says how his spouse have been given with the ladies guy on the third 4th 5th twentieth and twenty 5th of December 1998... and lower back on new years day... LOL i'm guessing you have a great form of wallets then? =D
2016-11-06 23:08:11 · answer #10 · answered by dugas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋