Calling the cops on my friend, was I wrong?

Question

Ok, heres the story:

A few months ago I let my friend borrow my copy of "Gears of War" for the X-Box 360. I was under the assumption that he would beat the single player portion of the game within a week or two and give it back, but he kept the game for well over two MONTHS despite my constant requests to have it back. When he finally returned the game it had multiple scratches.

Of course, I was angry. I try to be nice and this guy pretty much just spits in my face. Now, I had some dirt on this friend, he was 19 years old and his girlfriend was just barely 17. We live in California so his relationship is illegal. So I called the police and told them about him. He is going to court in a week and could face some jail-time if he gets convicted.

My other friends are furious with me and refusing to talk to me, but I honestly believe that what I did was justified. However, I'm a rational person so I'll be willing to listen to arguments to the contrary.

Answer 1

I think you were wrong to do that. Love isn't about age. Maybe if he was like 30 and she was 17 then sure go ahead turn them in, but dude come on. 17 & 19?

Answer 2

If you feel "justified" because you had a legitimate concern of your "adult" friend causing harm to or sexually assaulting a minor that would be one thing but your story depicts two kids only two years apart in age engaged in consensual sexual relations. Both are old enough (assuming neither is mentally retarded) to know what sex is and to make an informed (although immature) choice to have physical relations. If you think you're "justified" because he scratched your precious video game you need a couple of words of advice: First, neither a borrower nor a lender be, which translated means if you loan something and it is either damaged or not returned at all, that is a known risk when you loan it, if you borrow something, you should accept responsibility for the proper care and safe return of that item. The next advice would be to start working on a new list of friends because you've pretty much destroyed any friend creds you may have had with the people that used to consider you a friend. Good luck on improving your social skills!

Answer 3

I think that you were wrong to turn your friend in. Friends are suppose to be tried and true....and over a video game??!!!

Nope I think that you are wrong, especially since now a days the burden of proof falls to the state when it comes to under aged dating and the "statutory rape" laws are a lot more lenient when the "victim"is 17--to be 18 in less than a year.

You could have simply taken to civil court, sued for court cost, the price of the game, and compensatory damages--that would have been a FAR more appropriate action than to turn him in over the person that he loves and that loves him.

BAD CALL on your part. You didn't have any business bringing his girlfriend into it, because that is ultimately what you did. This was a problem between the two of you, and the problem was the video game---not his love life! If her parents had a problem with the relationship it would have been up to them to call the police on him. NOT you. NOT his friend.

Answer 4

Of course you did the right thing! Actually you went pretty easy on this lousy excuse for a friend! How dare he put you through that kind of mental and emotional suffering. Just how many sleepless nights you must have spent laying there in your bed worrying about your game. I don't know how you managed to endure it as long as you did! Who cares if your other so called friends are angry enough to quit talking to you. You don't need them anyway, afterall if you need someone to talk to you can always call the cops.

I wonder if that is the kind of answer you are looking for. I think you want someone to tell you that it was okay, after all he was breaking the law, right?

I just don't understand how you can compare what he did to what you did! Did you ever think that maybe he doesn't have as much time as you do to spend trying to beat the game? Or that maybe he just isn't as good at the game as you and so it took him longer than it took you to beat the game? You say you made constant requests to get it back, I wonder did you ever go to his house and try just walking over to the xbox and picking up your game? Did you warn him that you would ruin his life forever if he didn't bring it back immediatly and in perfect condition? Did you warn him of the danger ahead if he was late in returning it or careless in using it? When he brought it back did you even bother to tell him that you had lost touch with rational thought and the only way to save himself would be to replace it with a new one?
I was taught at a very early age that people are so much more valuable than ANY material item. I also know I can replace anything I have if I Need to or want to...with the exception of friends, family, and loved ones. When I loan out my things I am doing it with the knowledge that I may never get it back, people are human and stuff happens even when you do everything humanly possiable to prevent it. So if I don't feel that I can live without it ...I don't loan it out.
I also live in California and I sure hope you are not someone that I unknowingly call my friend, because I am sure that everyone you call "friend" is listed in your "Secrets My Friends Trusted Me With" book.

Lets be honest...you are a self centered,hateful, mean spirited spoiled rotten vile person who probably thinks that all your problems are someone elses fault. You are so completely wrapped up in yourself and your feelings of being picked on that you obviously can't think past the end of your nose.
If found guilty your friend will be a registered sex offender for the rest of his life.If he and the girl end up married then she will always pay the price too. As will his children and his brothers and sisters and parents and anyone who happens to live close to someone with an internet connection. That is assuming he doesn't get killed in Jail or prison. And what about his finacial future? I hope he didn't want to work in a field that had anything to do with helping kids. You know if you don't feel you have enough justice and you are patient enough you could wait until he has a family and then call DCFS he'll never see that comming.

You just keep telling yourself that you did nothing wrong because I think you are just dumb enough to believe it.

Answer 5

Nope I would have done the same thing. Another thing to do if you are not already document it -photos of the trash, writing down times of the loud music, ect. Then take it the person/people who manage the complex. I am sure they would like to know whats going on (if they have not had notice already). I am sure there is some "rule" to keep the music and noise level down after a set time. I would also look up the noise ordinance in your area, get the proof and the cops can do something about it. The fire that touched the tree branches could have spread and done lots of damage.

Answer 6

Well, honestly, I think the reaction outweighed the action.

$50 or whatever the game was worth, isn't worth friendships (not his, but your others), and it probably isn't worth throwing someone in jail over.

Then again, your buddy may have been caught without your help...and I'm sure the father of that 17 year old girl is thanking you...

...so I guess there are positives and negatives.

I wouldn't have said anything though. I had a "friend" steal something from me once. Probably worth about the same amount as your game, or more. He flatly denied it, yet I knew it was him. That was the end of our friendship, right there.

Sometimes, that's the best road to follow.

When he gets out of prison, I would watch my back if I was you.

He may come after you in a way that you won't be prepared for.

Answer 7

You're a douche.

OH NO, scratches on my poor little game? Whatever am I to do?

OH I KNOW! Send him to jail, ruin his life, make it so much harder for him to ever get a good job, and destroy everything he's built up until now.

If you're actually being honest, you are a disgrace, a disgusting pile of rancid fecal matter.

Report me. At least I am safe in the knowledge that I am NOWHERE near as pathetic, petty, or INSANE as you!

i agreee

Answer 8

It's justified but not under the conditions you did it. You did it in a mean, childish and spiteful way, not because you were being honorable and wanted the law enforced.

You knew what was going on before you got your damaged goods so why didn't you report him then? That is where your thinking is flawed ~ you didn't do it for the right reasons.

Answer 9

Ask yourself if you really think it balances out. Your friend held onto your game fro longer than you expected, even though you asked for it back. When he gave it back to you, it was scratched (I assume still playable). So you're basically sending him to jail for that. I assume also that you didn't care about his relationship previously, so you're not really punishing him for that, or you would have done something before now. So yes, while it may be right to turn him in for his relationship, since that's not really why you did it, it was unethical. You're going to be losing friends over this video game. Hope it was worth it. (I also hope, for your sake, that none of your soon-to-be former friends has any dirt on you)

Answer 10

I think you should have called the police either way, child molesters are no friends of mine your crappy video game really wasn't the issue hear, it was respect, he direspected you and you did the behind the back deal, but its okay because some who direspects you isn't a friend anyways, so you did the right thing, if your friends have a problem with that then I guess they are all for statutory rape...