Anyone know any good Jesus Jokes?

Answer 1

If you don't serve Him, you'll go to Hell. Oops not a joke but a reality. However, type in Christian jokes in any search engine and something should pop up.

Answer 2

Sorry this is really long.

Saint Peter is watching the gates of Heaven, but he really has to go the
bathroom. He asks Jesus to watch the gates for a few minutes, and Jesus
agrees.

As Jesus is standing there, he sees an old man leading a donkey up from
Earth to Heaven. He notices the old man has carpenter's tools with him. When
the old man gets to the gates, Jesus asks him to describe his life and
explain why he feels he should be admitted into heaven.

The man explains, "In English, my name would be Joseph, but I didn't live in
America or England. I lived a modest life, making things out of wood. I'm
not remembered very well by most people, but almost everyone has heard of my
son. I call him my son, but in truth he wasn't actually my son , he didn't
really come into this world in the usual way.

I sent my son out to be among the people of the World. He was ridiculed by
many, and was even known to associate himself with some pretty unsavory
characters, although he himself tried to be honest and perfect. My single
biggest reason for trying to get into Heaven is to be reunited with my son."


Jesus is awe-struck by the man's story. He looks into the old man's eyes and
asks, "Father?"

The old man's face brightens; he looks at Jesus, and asks, "Pinocchio?"

Answer 3

Some time after Judgement Day Moses & Jesus were walking along a shore line and discussing the various miracles that they had done. After a while Moses says, "You know, I've heard about how you walked on water but I'd love to see it. Would you please walk on water for me?"

"Sure" says Jesus who then promply walks out onto the water. To his suprise, however, he finds himself slowling sinking down into the water. Wading back to the shore Jesus says "I don't understand...it worked fine before. I never sank at all last time."

Moses thinks about it for a while and says "walk out again...I have an idea of what the problem might be but I want to see."

Jesus then walks out again and slowly sinks down in to the water. Wading back to Moses he asks "I don't understand...any ideas?"

"Yes," says Moses "I think that it's the holes in your feet!"

Answer 4

What's the last thing Jesus said at the last supper?

If you want to be in the picture hurry up and get on this side of the table.

Answer 5

Yes.

Jesus was crucified and was on the cross. His disciples were kept back by the Roman Legionnaires guarding the cross.

Jesus cried out, "Peter!"

Peter tried to run up to Jesus' cross, but the soldiers beat him back.

"Peter!" Jesus cried out a second time. He tried to run up again, but again, the soldiers beat him back.

A third time, Jesus called out, "Peter!" More determined than ever, Peter broke through the barrier of soldiers and ran up to the foot of the cross, out of breath.

"Yes, Lord?" he said, taking a deep breath.

"Peter," said Jesus, "Look! I can see your house from up here!"

Answer 6

"Jesus walks into a hotel" Okay stop me if you've heard this one, "Jesus walks into a hotel,he hands the inkeeper three nails,then asks,Can you put me up for the night?"

Eric Draven

Answer 7

What's the last thing Jesus told the Mexican's before he died?


Don't do anything until I get back!

Answer 8

Jesus came to me last night ....... and I can't get the stains out.

Answer 9

You know why Jesus died for your sins?


He forgot his safe word.........

Answer 10

"What's Jesus' favorite hang out?"