I need my parents to trust me?

Question

Im 15 going on 16. I have pakistanni parents. They dont trust me. I want to go cinema and my parents wont let me go as there is no one to watch us. How can i resure my parents that it will be ok. Also How can i get my parentsto trust me they didnt trust me before but hey dont trust me as i skipped school for 1 day. So how can i get the to trust me and give me freedom.

serious answers please

thanks

Answer 1

Ok, serious answer coming your way. First a reality check: Once trust is broken it is very hard to rebuild. I use the word, "rebuild" because that is what you are going to have to do. Next reality check: there are consequences to behaviors. I am not judging you, just telling you the truth. The consquence you face now is broken trust, the feeling of not being trusted any longer and the loss of some of your freedoms.

Ok, now that I have explained the problem, the first really meaningful thing is for you to use this as a learning experiance. You know now what it feels like to do something which has a very serious consequence. If you are able to be mature enough and at fifteen almost sixteen I think your old enough, you can see this is going to teach you the value and importance of trust, how easily it is broken and how hard it is to rebuild.

If you look at this as not just a punishment, but the natural progression of your life and journey towards maturity as an adult it will be easier to swallow. What I mean is if you look at this in more of a positive light than a negitive then you can choose to change how you experiance this event in your life.

Your parents trusted you and you did something to break that trust. Now you have to live with the consequences. Breaking trust is no small matter, as you have found to your regret. I think more than your freedoms you regret losing their trust. You sound very much like you love your parents and are sorry you have lost their trust. I understand you want to go out and do things now, but gaining trust back is not quick. It will take time.

In the meanwhile it would help if you spoke with your parents and told them how very bad you feel, how horrid it is that you did something to lose their trust and how much you did not realize their trust meant to you.

Going to them with maturity, explaining to them how valuable their trust is to you, and how you see that you broke it, that you take full responsibility for that break, and that you realize it will take time to rebuild that trust, that you wish to learn from this, they will see you in a more mature light and be more responsive to you.

As you are of Pakistanni descent, you know how much honor and integrety mean to your parents, and how much they wish to instil these values in you, their child. You know how much they love you and cherish you. If they didn't they wouldn't care what you did, they would just allow you to do whatever you pleased. It isn't easy to watch out for a teenager who wishes to defy parents. It takes a lot of energy and effort. They love you enough to put all that energy and effort into you. They love you enough to wish to help you grow into a fine young man who can mature into a man who will be able to have honor and integrity. They value you as a person. They don't wish to punish you but to guide you and help you achieve all you can be.

Talking with them is the first step, owning your own actions and taking self responsibility where they can see it is the next. Being mature enough to accept the consequences is the next. Being honest with them at all times and showing them you really mean to rebuild their trust in you, that you are willing to abide by the more stict rules until you do, without complaining is the next.

When they see you really are getting how important trust, honor and integrity is, how important trust is for any relationship to stay healthy and strong, they will want to work with you.

If you don't show them you understand the magnitude of what occurred, they won't feel they can let up the reigns until you start to really understand. The best method of building up broken trust is to be transparent in everything you do.

Being transparent means allowing them to know who you are with, where you are at, and what you are doing at all times. Yes, this means you are going to lose some privacy. But in the long run this is the surest way to regain their trust and your freedoms again.

Try to put yourself in their shoes. I know it is difficult as you do not have children yet and are still young. However, the first signs of real maturity is the ability to see others viewpoints, feelings, fears, and emotions. To see things from their perspective. If this were a friend of yours and you found out that friend lied to you, how quickly would you be able to believe him/her again? What would that friend have to do in order for you to believe in the word again, and how long do you think it might take? Now, consider how this friend is not a relative you have invested years of your love and ife to raise and care for. How much more would that lost trust be if you found out your mother or father lied to you? It would matter much more wouldn't it?

So, you are going to have to face facts. This is not something which is quickly fixable. You are going to have to take responsibility, and in taking responsibility you have to take the consequences like a mature young person. Show them you are willing and able to do that and you will be well on your way to rebuilding trust with them. In the meanwhile accept that you will not have the same freedoms you use to have. But do the things listed here and you will soon have trust back. Realize they don't wish to punish you, but want what is best for you. They love you and want you to be all you can be.

Good luck and I wish you all the happiness possible. You are lucky to have parents who love you this much. But, you already know that! :-)

Answer 2

To the cinema, arrange a time that you will be home the lastest, make use your cell phone is on, at all times, for them to call if they are worried, (Who cares what the cinema says to silence your cellphones.) Tell them that you will call (if possible) every hour, and that you promise that your won't do drugs and alcholcal. Make sure your parents know the people you are going out with, and some how make sure that your parents speak to their parents. (That will usually do it, or make matter worst if your parents don't like them.)

Listen, I have to same problem, but I'm a girl, so it's 10 worse, I'm 15 going to be 16 and they seem to demand more of me, sorry if that didn't help.
Helped a little with my parents.
I can finally go to other people's house for max. of an hour and a half.
That's all you need right?

Answer 3

Trust must be earned. You can lose your parents' trust with one poor decision (skipping school) but it takes much, much longer to gain back their trust. You will simply have to earn that trust over time by being more mature, more trustworthy and always honest.

Answer 4

all it takes is one messup to loose a parents trust. Talk to them ask them how you can regain their trust, they might respect you for that and know your telling the truth

Answer 5

show and proof to your parents that they can trust you. and you have to make sure you follow their house rules and curfews. and maybe they will trust you once you show them they can trust you.

Answer 6

Act more responsible and do things that you think would impress them.